train to the afterlife.

[estivates]

the train to the afterlife meme

maybe you know how, maybe you don't. perhaps the memory is fuzzy, or perhaps it's crystal clear down to the look in your comrades' eyes. maybe it was your time; you've done all you wanted to. or maybe you weren't at all ready to go, maybe you went out kicking and screaming -- but none of it matters. you know you're dead, and the train is taking you to an afterlife. perhaps an afterlife of your choice; you might've earned that heaven. or perhaps you've earned something else entirely.

it'll be a bit of a journey, though, so you might as well take your time and talk to the other people in your coach. death knows no place: most of them are strangers, even from faraway worlds. but death knows no time either, so who knows, some of them may be people you know, even if last you knew, they were alive -- or long gone.

oh look, here comes the snack cart.

the usual;
➝ post with your character's name, canon, and preferences.
➝ said character is now dead for whatever reason -- canon, au, what have you. they are on a train with other dead people from many other times, places, and worlds.
➝ characters don't know for a fact where they're headed -- just a general awareness that they're going to some kind of afterlife. whatever they think it is is up to the player.
➝ tag around and play nice!

TRIGGER WARNING!! this meme obviously deals with death and may deal with other unpleasant themes as a result. please be cautious.

Comments

[made_of_stars]

A body, crumpled on the ground.

An anguished wail, ripped from her throat, so foreign to her ears that she hardly recognized it as coming from her.

A blaster, steady, pointed at her heart.

"Don't make me do this, Jyn!"

No choice.

She squeezed off a shot in the instant before he did, unable to see if she'd made contact before she was overcome by a searing pain in her chest, dropping her to her knees, where she managed a few desperate huffs of breath before she fell, too, never to get up again.

At least, she'd never see the jungles of Yavin ever again. When Jyn's eyes fluttered open again and she was able to look around, she knew, somehow, that she'd never been here before. She didn't even know where here was. All she could feel was the steady rocking motion as the train or tram or whatever it was rocketed steadily toward it's final destination.

Panting, she sat up straight in her plush seat, wild-eyed as she shifted, turned, desperate to find out what's happened, why she was here, if she was alone. "Hello?", she called, cursing herself mentally for sounding so ... scared. "Is anyone here? Can anyone ... hear me? Where am I?"

[themaninwhite]

There hadn't been enough time for planning. How quickly he had realized their plan was no plan at all.

... he shouldn't have let her do it. He shouldn't have let her risk so much for him. She could have had a life, a real life, without him. What sort of life would that have been for her, with him, when they were always on the run?

Krennic had no real qualms when it came to shooting Draven. These weren't his men, after all - this wasn't his side, no matter how much he had come to care for Jyn. Still, he'd wanted to escape by doing as little damage as possible. When the blasters came out, when people got hurt, things became desperate...

Death was painful, but at least it was quick. His last thoughts were of her, of course, as he looked up into Jyn's face right before the darkness took over. He thought that perhaps they'd let her go... perhaps Cassian wouldn't have the heart to hurt her...

It's strange, the feeling of motion when he jerks awake. He looks out the window but it's too dark, yet still he has the sense of shapes passing by outside. His memories of those last moments are fuzzy, though his sharp mind tries to take hold of them. It doesn't take too long to regain a vague sense of what had happened - especially when he looks down at the charred spot on his chest. Fortunately there is no blood or gore, but just enough of a reminder of the blaster bolt that had taken his life. He no longer wears the pristine white of his uniform, instead the dull grey of a prisoner... but it doesn't matter.

Nothing else matters when he hears that familiar voice. No...

"Jyn," it's like a murmur at first, a choked whisper that probably won't reach her ears. But then he's on his feet and half-stumbling in the direction of that voice, like a man dying of thirst. Bit ironic, that. All that matters is getting to her. Perhaps it's not coincidental that she's nearby.

Still, nothing prepares him for the sight of her... and the realization he had failed her.

[made_of_stars]

A lost cause, right from the start. And Jyn had known that, deep down, but still wouldn't have heard of not making the attempt, even though it was clearly doomed to failure.

How could she possibly have lived with herself if she'd stood back and been complicit in the sorts of interrogations that flirted with bordering on the edge of torture? How could she let one man she loved loose on the other? (How could she love two men at once, too, although that was hardly an important issue now of all times ... ) How could she possibly stand by, expected to watch when Krennic was inevitably executed? They'd take what they could out of him and they'd make an example out of him, and she'd be expected to celebrate it along with the rest of them, and Jyn was a great many things, most of them not good or kind or anything of the sort, but she was not so callous to think that she could take part in any of that without totally snapping. She'd have taken a life on the run over that any day. It wasn't as though she wasn't used to it, anyway. It would, at the very least, be made a little more bearable if he was by her side.

Jyn bribed the guard ordered to stand watch over Krennic to give her ten minutes alone, and he went along with it, thinking that she would use the time to exact some justice of her own upon him instead of sketching out the bare bones of an escape plan. With moments to spare before the guard returned to his post, Jyn stole one last, desperate kiss, and murmured 'I love you' against his lips, a statement of fact, something she'd been feeling for quite some time, even though she'd been reluctant to admit it to herself, much less to anyone else, especially not to Krennic himself. She didn't even expect him to return her feelings. She just felt, deep down, that she needed to share those feelings. It was ... something to hold on to, in any case. A promise ...

Pity that it would be the only time she'd have the opportunity to say it.

The next time they were in each other's vicinity, all hell broke loose. It wasn't even organized chaos - it devolved into an outright mess almost immediately. Pain, she remembers, so much pain, literal pain, figurative pain, the pain of a broken heart, the pain of being torn apart by fury and desperation and wanting vengeance. Pain as her heart was ripped into shreds right in her chest, and then -

Jyn was panicking. Her short, sharp breaths were indication enough of that, her wide, unblinking eyes, and her startled expression as she stepped out into the walkway between rows of seats more than driving that point home. This place was unfamiliar, unnerving in a way that had her on edge, and she just wanted to find a way out.

And as she staggered forward, her head swimming, all Jyn could think was 'just keep moving'. Just keep moving until she found an exit. Just keep moving until she found where she was. Just keep moving. If she was here, wherever here, was, maybe he was, too. Maybe they still could find a way to escape. Maybe ...

"Please, please - ", she breathed, her voice shaky, confused, tinged with more fear than she thought she'd ever felt in her life. "I don't want to be alone."

[themaninwhite]

There hadn't been much time to talk. There hadn't been much time to do anything at all. Krennic hadn't been expecting her like that, though he had been glad to see her. Then she was talking hurriedly about a possible escape plan, and he could hardly get a word in edgewise. Of course it was a terrible plan, barely a plan at all, and he had every mind to tell her just that, when she silenced them all with a kiss... and an "I love you." They had never said that to each other before. He was so surprised, he didn't say it back to her this time. There wasn't enough time to think about it, not really - Jyn couldn't stay, and the next time they would see each other was when they were escaping.

And, truth be told... those words had just made him to escape all the more, damn the odds. If she truly felt that way about him and was willing to risk so much for him - after all, she had a life in the Rebellion she could return to, surely. She didn't need him. But she seemed to want him, all the same... and suddenly, that was enough for him. Damn it all to hell, he WAS going to escape and be with her. Didn't this screwed up galaxy owe them that, at least?

Krennic thought perhaps he deserved death, after all he had done, but... not Jyn, not when she was so young, so full of life, with so much yet to give. But that was her voice, and there she was... so scared, so alone.

It wasn't fair.

For a few heartbeats he was shocked, frozen into place. The moment was surreal, part of him wondered if perhaps it was a dream, or maybe she had been conjured up in his mind. Or perhaps this truly was hell, and he would be tortured by her spirit, with the knowledge he had killed her, he had been the reason she had died.

But then he was rushing toward her, because even if she wasn't real it didn't matter. Krennic needed to see her again, to feel her and hold her, even if it wasn't real, even if it was temporary... and yet, she looked real, so much so that he couldn't stop himself from falling to his knees before her - or perhaps his legs had given out from under him. There had been a time when the old Krennic would have sneered at him for seeming so weak, but now... it didn't matter, it wasn't a thought in his mind. The more intense, haunted look that had been in his piercing eyes softened to one of pure anguish as he looked up at her.

You're here.

And with that... he wrapped his arms around her torso, pressing his cheek against her chest from his place there on his knees before her.

... only then did he realize his face was wet with tears. He was crying.

He spoke furiously as he held onto her, though his anger was not truly directed at her - "You stupid, stupid girl. Why didn't you... why couldn't you just give in? Surrender? They would have taken you in, you weren't the one they were after." He was upset, not really at her but himself for allowing this to happen, for not stopping whatever idiot Rebel had shot her. For not turning her away when he realized they were developing feelings for each other, for not stopping this from the beginning. But... he was also relieved she was there, perhaps in a selfish way, and his anger was not there for long, not when they were together again. He sounded lost almost, even though he had found her again. "Oh Jyn, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. This is... this is all my fault."

[made_of_stars]

Even at the bitter end, the pair of them hadn't been granted any reprieve, or any little measure of happiness. And perhaps that's how their lives were destined to end - painfully, in the midst of a hail of blaster bolts, no matter how deserved any of it was. Jyn had done terrible things, too, in the name of survival, terrible things that weighed on her conscience that she thought would always stay with her, no matter how badly she'd wanted to be able to forget.

But here, wherever here was, the only thing Jyn could concentrate on were the sudden pounding footsteps that had her stopping right in her tracks, turning around so fast she almost gave herself whiplash. And for a moment, she thought she might be hallucinating, because this wasn't possible, was it? She'd watched him die right in front of her very eyes - she'd heard him take his last breaths, seen his body go limp, and now - !

Her mind had to be playing tricks on her, the cruelest tricks imaginable, because he could not possibly be real, could not possibly be staring at her as though he was thinking the exact same things that she was, could not be hurrying toward her with an intensity that she'd never seen before. If this was a dream, Jyn could not imagine waking up. If it was a nightmare ... she'd gladly face it head on in order to have him by her side again, even within the confines of her imagination. She'd weather anything in order to have him again, in whatever capacity. Nothing mattered more than being together.

Krennic sank to his knees in front of her, immediately wrapping his arms around her, holding her tight, and Jyn's breath caught in her throat. Even in captivity, that last few desperate moments they'd had together, he hadn't dared do the same, in case of any prying eyes or ears. Here, there was no need to censor themselves. Jyn wasn't sure how she knew, but she was sure of that one thing, at least. She breathed a shaky breath, and with trembling fingers, gently carded her fingers through his mussed hair, wanting some reassurance that this wasn't simply ... a figment of an overstimulated imagination.

He was real. He was warm, and solid, and holding her so tightly that she might not ever breathe properly again. And as she felt wetness permeate the fabric of her shirt, she realized that he was crying. She couldn't hold back her own tears after that, hot droplets trailing down her cheeks, more and more and more until she felt like she'd never be able to quell them again.

It broke her heart all the further to hear him blame himself for their sudden end, and she shook her head almost violently, flinging tears here and there without any care, more concerned with getting him to understand that although he blamed himself for her all too sudden demise, she did not blame him in the slighest.

"They'd have executed me, too, and you know it. They would've ... they would've accused me of colluding with the enemy, branded me a spy, and m - made me an example for the whole Rebellion. They wouldn't have let me go, you know that."

"Don't - ", she replied, her voice softening. "Don't you do that. I wanted to be with you, no matter what. I want to be with you still. I - I don't know what any of this is, but I'm glad that we're here together. Orson, I - you know how I feel. That hasn't changed."

Breathe.

"I don't blame you for anything. But you should - you should blame me for this. If not for me ... oh, I'm sorry! If not for me, none of this would have happened."

[themaninwhite]

Wherever they were, whatever part of the afterlife they were in, Jyn was his anchor, his entire world, his everything. Her fingers in his hair made him know she was real and not just some figment of his imagination. Her little body was warm and solid beneath his cheek and his arms, and if he clung onto her too tightly it was because he didn't want to lose her again. Truly they had only just found each other when they had still been alive with what had to be the worst timing in the galaxy. No... that wasn't entirely true. They had almost always been a part of each others' lives since nearly the very beginning of hers. Whether their coming together when she was older had always been meant to be or not, one thing was for certain: they hadn't had enough time together. Now that they had miraculously come together again in this new 'chapter' of their existence, Krennic wasn't about to let her slip through his fingers again.

His own tears were silent as he listened to her, eyes still shut where he leaned his head against the fabric of her shirt. Nothing was black and white, of course - the Rebellion seemed just as willing as the Empire to sacrifice lives for their cause, in the name of peace. He wasn't sure he entirely believed her - after all, Captain Andor had feelings for her. Surely he would have found a way to stop them from executing her. But in the end... it didn't truly matter. Neither one of them were a part of either group. Tarkin would have happily executed him for his failures - had tried to, really, when he had destroyed Scariff. Krennic found he didn't feel quite as empty inside to know that which he had fought so hard for so of his life amounted to absolutely nothing now.

Difficult to care about anything else when the young woman in his arms was confirming how much she cared about him, that she had actually meant it when she'd said she'd loved him. Those words alone made something like a muffled sob escape his lips.

He really didn't deserve her.

When she apologized, blaming herself, he finally disentangled his arms from around her, pushing himself up to his feet. But emotion overtook him and his hands didn't stray from her long, instead sliding up to cup her cheeks in his palms. His lips felt the same compulsion to be close, instantly finding hers for a desperate, fierce kiss. It was like breathing in again after nearly drowning, like coming home after being lost for an eternity, and he held on for dear life. After a moment, Krennic only pulled away a little to look into her eyes intensely, thumbs stroking her cheeks. His face must have looked an absolute wreck - eyes red-rimmed from crying - but it didn't matter.

"Don't apologize," he insisted firmly, his voice rough from crying, from everything. Then again, he'd never had the more cultured, prissy accent that seemed common with Imperials. "Don't blame yourself for this. You tried, Jyn. You tried to help me escape, and that was..." He raised his brow, let out a shaky breath, "Well, I didn't deserve that and certainly no one else would have done it, but you... you risked everything for me. Thank you."

He swallowed hard, the words so foreign to him even as the sound met his own ears but... he meant every one of them. "And I... I love you too, you know. You should know that."

[made_of_stars]

Jyn couldn't concern herself with the wheres and the whys and the hows of it all. At the moment, all she could bring herself to concentrate on was the man holding her so tightly, and the knowledge that now, there was nothing to tear them apart again. For whatever reason, they found themselves together, even after death, and Jyn had to believe that there was a reason for it. It couldn't just be happenstance ... right? Her mind was swimming with possibilities, but the only thing that made sense didn't really even make sense. Had they always been fated to end up this way? They'd continued to come together from the time she was born, after all, he'd been a part of so many of her formative experiences (not always pleasant), and fittingly, perhaps, they'd departed one life and found themselves waking up in another, together, hopefully not to be parted. Before ... they just hadn't had enough time. Maybe now, here, they do.

They could never truly know what would have come to pass if Jyn had given up rather than take that last shot, sealing her fate, but she was certain, even if they'd allowed her to live, a life without him wasn't worth living, especially if she had to live knowing that she'd failed him. Whatever good they'd done in their previous lives, whatever bad ... none of it mattered here. The only thing she could bring herself to care about was ensuring that he knew without a shadow of a doubt that she did not regret a single moment along the way that had brought them here.

The past was the past. All of that was behind them. And although Jyn could not know what this new phase of their lives (afterlives?) would bring them, somehow, she knew that whatever came their way, they'd be able to weather, because they'd be together.

It broke her heart to hear him so broken, so wracked with ... what, with agony? With guilt? Emotions that she didn't wish him to feel, because she'd ultimately made her own decisions which had resulted in her being here, now, with him. She'd still feel it herself, though, because as far as she was concerned, she'd failed. But she never would have been able to live with herself if she'd sent him to his imminent demise without trying.

But before she could apologize again (and she wanted to, Force, how she wanted to apologize until she was so hoarse that she physically could not apologize anymore) he was standing suddenly, taking her breath away with the way he held her so firmly, hardly giving her a chance to breathe before he was kissing her in a way that they'd never kissed before, with a passion and intensity and desperation that they'd never given into before. And when it ended, when he was watching her so intently through those blue, blue eyes, as red as her own, when she was so breathless that she thought she might pass out, she still wanted nothing more than to say that she was sorry just one more time.

She breathed out harshly, nodded softly, and fought desperately to regain some of her missing composure, even the every word he spoke, every assurance he offered that what she'd done had been ... appreciated, that he didn't blame her for their fate, not for any of it, and her knees went weak, forcing her to reach out, to try to hold him tight, to offer as well as receive some sense of comfort and reassurance in the words. "O - oh, I'd do it all over again if I had to ... "

Jyn hadn't expected to hear those words. She hadn't anticipated Krennic feeling for her quite what she felt for him. Fresh hot tears spilled from her eyes and down her cheeks, and she could not bring herself to care that she was practically soaking the front of her shirt. "... Y - you do?"

Surely here, in this place, alone together, she could let down her walls long enough to to show that there was a scared, uncertain girl behind them, at least for a moment. This, them, all of it ...

It was absolutely, utterly overwhelming.