bakerstreet | Drunk and Puppies

[Some would say he is the puppy and he is not drunk but man, Kurogane sure does have plenty of alcohol to fix that problem.]

I have a surpriiiiiise~

[Fai, on the other hand, has very clearly been hitting the bottle already. He's just pleasantly fuzzed, all sunshine and smiles, and he's waving an open bottle of pink champagne invitingly in front of Kurogane.]

But you're not allowed to see it yet. Not until you've had something to drink~

Why the hell would I want a surprise?

[None of Fai's surprised are anything he ever wants. Most of the time it's something ridiculously sweet that he absolutely can't stand to eat or otherwise a thing that's just going to piss him off.

He does eye that bottle of champagne.]

Sake's better. [Still Kurogane grabs the bottle and attempts to pull it out of the mage's grip.]

Kurgie~~ How can you decide you don't want it if you don't even know what it is~?

[Fai leans closer as he says it, and his free hand comes up to poke at Kurogane's shoulder lightly to emphasize the last few words as he says them. And he's grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

He's still grinning when Kurogane grabs the bottle of champagne, although he doesn't let go of the bottle himself. Which means Fai comes right along with it, losing his balance and toppling toward the ninja.]

Ah, but this is so sweet and bubbly~~~aahhh~!

Because it's your surprise and nothing good ever comes out of that.

[The smile certainly does not make him want to know what the surprise is - in fact, Kurogane feels this sense of dread settling over his shoulders.

Or maybe it's just Fai falling on him. Probably both. He hadn't stopped the idiot from falling on him, merely glares at the mage. Irritation is rolling off of him in waves but he doesn't bother trying to pry the other man off, already knowing it was difficult to do.]

That's exactly what's wrong with it. Come back with something stronger.

Edited 2017-02-09 05:28 (UTC)

Kuro-Daddy so mean. Don't you love me anymore~?

[But Fai's still grinning, not even bothering to pretend to look hurt. By now he's draped across the front of the ninja with one arm around Kurogane's shoulders and the other hand still holding the champagne bottle.]

Oh, that was my other surprise!

[He looks down. Then looks at both of his hands, already preoccupied. Then looks right up into Kurogane's face and smiles sunnily.]

♫ You should check my poooockeeeeet~ ♪

[He means the big outer pocket of the jacket he's wearing. There's a little bottle of sake tucked inside.]

Tch. You're assuming that I loved you at all.

[No malice but plenty of annoyance in his words. He sees that the smile doesn't disappear in the slightest and notices that Fai does not seem to be in a hurry to get off of him.

"Other surprise". Which means that the idiot still has something else that Kurogane most likely won't like.

Watches as Fai seems to try to figure out how to solve the problem of holding the champagne, holding on to Kurogane and getting out said surprise. His answer is to make Kurogane get it instead. And Kurogane's response is not to do anything despite the fact that he has two perfectly good hands.]

Or you could sit in your own spot rather than cling to me and get it yourself.

Hyuu~ ♪ Such a grumpy puppy~

[For a moment Fai continues to stare between his own two hands, furrowing his eyebrows and pursing his lips in thought as he struggles with this logistical problem. Then Kurogane's suggestion is like someone threw the light switch. Fai beams again.]

Of course!

[Solution: turn around just enough to plop right down in Kurogane's lap sideways. Perfect. Fai looks immensely pleased with himself. And now he's holding the champagne in one hand and a bottle of sake in the other.]

[He highly doubts that Fai is actually drunk because no matter what, the other man can drink Kurogane under the table. And Kurogane isn't even sure that he can get drunk as a vampire. They never really tested it what with the two of them barely talking during the time that followed Tokyo and had other things to worry about in Clow.

So this will certainly be a learning experience. Fai already had an extremely high tolerance for alcohol before, he merely enjoyed acting like an idiot.

Just because Kurogane knows it's all an act doesn't mean it doesn't still annoy the hell out of him.] I'm not a damn dog!

[He watches as Fai seems to try to figure out the problem of not having enough hands for what he wants to do. It doesn't get any better when the mage decides that "his spot" just so happens to be on Kurogane's lap. He grunts at the shifting and debates dumping the other man off, though that would be a perfectly good waste of alcohol.]

Idiot. [Grabbing the sake from Fai with his right hand. The other one rests at his side.] What is your first surprise?

Mm-mm-mm~

[Fai shakes his head and waves a finger in front of Kurogane in a 'not yet!' gesture.]

You still haven't had anything to drink, Kuro-pu. You have to finish the whole bottle first~

[Because frankly, Kurogane might strangle him for the surprise otherwise. And he really just wants to see the ninja drunk, let's face it. If he can somehow manage to pull this off, drunken Kurogane plus his surprise will be just about the cutest thing ever.

...why no, Fai's totally drunk. Pay no attention to the fact that he's a scheming schemer, or that he knows perfectly well that Kurogane's seen his real tolerance for alcohol. If Kuro's going to let him get away with acting drunk and silly, he's going for it.]

[There are just some things that Kurogane is never going to be able to shake - like how people keep calling him "daddy" or "puppy" or even just "big dog". Not so long as he travels around with this group of individuals. Fai and Mokona in particular.

He pops open the sake bottle, only slightly put out that there's no proper cups for the beverage so that it can be enjoyed the way it should be. Since he doesn't have a cup he simply drinks straight from the container. Even with those words Kurogane does not down the liquid in order to find out what the surprise is sooner.]

Sounds like I'm going to need it if that's the deal you're making. It'd be a waste if I had to kill you over a surprise after all the times I've saved your ass.

[Good luck on seeing him drunk. Even if he was drunk, Kurogane was often the most sensible person in the room. Fai didn't count if he was going around playing at being drunk and meowing with other people.]

[Nope. Never living those down, Kuro-Daddy. Ever.

Meanwhile, Fai blithely drinks straight from the champagne bottle, not letting on to the fact that Kuro's playing right into his hands. If he'd downed the whole bottle at once to see the surprise he wouldn't have had nearly enough time to let the alcohol take effect. He's going to need that alcohol for the surprise.

Besides, this just gives Fai extra time to play around before the big reveal.

Now that his other hand is free again, Fai grins and tosses it back over Kurogane's shoulder to make himself comfy. Sorry Kuro, looks like he's not planning on going anywhere for a while.]

You know, that might be the sweetest thing you've ever said to me, Kurgie! You're such a smooth talker~

[It seems to be their secondary life mission to annoy him.

Fai doesn't need to inform the ninja that he's being played because Kurogane already knows - knows and is letting it happen. Mostly because he might be a tiny bit curious as to what the mage is up to but also because alcohol is his friend. He's been drinking more than he once had. Not always in large amounts but definitely more often.

This whole situation is a game to the mage, teasing Kurogane. Once upon a time it was one of the most annoying things about traveling with this group of people. Usually because he knew it was an act, designed to try and fool him - keep him at arm's length. Now it's just designed to rile him up.

They both know that if he really wanted Fai off, he could do it. Instead he merely allows his left arm to curl around the other man so that his hand is resting on his own knee. If it just so happens to act as support to the blond individual in his lap, well, that's an accident.]

Hm, it probably is. [The sweetest thing.] When I kill you, I'll have a better reason than just being annoyed at you. And I certainly won't be drinking when it happens.

['Accident.' Sure. We believe you, Kurgie.

Fai doesn't mention the arm behind him or let on that he even noticed, continuing to drink merrily and smile up at the bigger man. Eventually, right around the time Kurogane starts talking about killing him, the bottle runs dry. Fai puts on a pouty look and peers into the empty bottle.]

Kill me? Why would you want to go and do that, Kuro-pu? Hm~?

[He sounds rather distracted as he asks it. With a shrug, Fai lets the bottle fall to the floor and focuses his attention back on Kurogane.]

Is there anything I can do to escape this horrible fate~?

[Please note: he does not sound at all worried. He lets his head fall to his shoulder so it's practically laying on Kurogane's shoulder too, and bats the eyelashes of his one good eye up at the ninja.]

[No one is going to get him to say otherwise - even with the threat of death.

He's not too far behind on finishing his own bottle but he does offer it out to the other man in the event that he wants a sip as well. The arm stays where it is for the moment even as Kurogane allows them to both sink back into the couch.]

Haven't got a reason yet but I'm sure as hell not going to let anyone else do it.

[Kurogane's gaze is fixed on nothing in particular but when the empty champange bottle hits the floor with a thud, he looks down at the mage.]

Hm, you'll come up with a way to escape it.

[Now is when his left hand comes up to rest on Fai's head for a brief moment before he ruffles the loose hair there. It's not quite the same way he does it to Syaoran, gentler and he doesn't let it fall but allows his hand to linger. He can't feel it, can't feel how soft it is between his mechanical fingers. That fact causes him to frown in genuine displeasure.]

[The offer of the sake bottle is gratefully accepted, despite the fact that the whole point of this was to get Kurogane drunk. He's had a fair amount of it now, at least. Fai upends the rest of it and then uses the bottle to poke at the ninja's chest gently.]

Ha! I knew you loved me after all~

[It's a flippant remark, though Fai knows full well that Kurogane's a big softie underneath his angry ninja exterior. But pointing that out will just rile Kurogane up again and this is actually kind of nice, this little lull they've sunk into.

He's once again peering into the empty bottle with his one good eye ~~looking far too much like a pirate for his own good~~ when the hand ruffles his hair. Fai drops the second bottle next to the first on the floor and smiles sweetly up at Kurogane.]

I think you've had enough now. Would you like your surprise~?

[They both know just how hard it is for either of them to get truly drunk. Not to mention that Kurogane will never act silly when he is, more that he'll simply nod off when he's had too much. He scoffs at that.]

You should get your vision checked if this is what you see as love.

[As they've traveled and learned more about each other, he's certainly grown even softer. Not towards everyone because Kurogane is more than glad to glare down complete strangers but those in the small group are exceptions.

The hand drops away and he resists lifting the other one to actually feel the softness. Instead he rests the elbow of his real arm on the back of the couch. The look on Kurogane's face is a wary one.]

Fine, let's get it over with.

Well, if you haven't noticed I'm a bit lacking in that department~

[Fai laughs as he says it, and doesn't bother to clarify whether he means the 'vision' part or the 'love' part.

Still putting on a show of being pleasantly tipsy, Fai struggles for a moment to work himself up out of Kurogane's lap and off the couch, eventually pressing a hand to the ninja's chest to gain a bit of leverage. When he regains his feet he wavers for a second before padding off toward the bathroom.

After disappearing through the doorway for a second he reappears, head peeking through just far enough to grin at Kurogane.]

Alright, now close your eyes! And keep them closed, no peeking~

You'll figure it out eventually.

[He doesn't clarify which one he might be referring to either.

When it's clear that the mage is finally getting off of him, Kurogane just sits there - not helping at all. Instead he merely watches as Fai flounders around and then proceeds to use him to push off against to get upright. There's no hand to make certain that the blond stays standing.

At the request he groans quietly, head leaning back even as his eyes close.]

I'm regretting this more and more by the minute.

Oh, don't be that way, Kuro-pu~

[As soon as the ninja's eyes are closed, Fai retreats back into the bathroom. There's the muted sound of the magician shuffling around and a quiet 'shhh', followed by footsteps coming back out from the bathroom. A few more steps, a giggle and another 'shhh.'

And then there's something small and warm and wiggly on Kurogane's chest--and no, it's not Fai.]

♪ You can open noooow~ ♫

[It's a black retriever puppy.

Fai is sprawled over the arm of the couch with his chin in his hands, watching for Kurogane's reaction.]

[Definitely regretting everything about this. Though he's sure that even if he hadn't finished off the entire bottle of sake that Fai would still be giving him this surprise. That thought only solidifies when he hears the damn idiot giggling and shushing someone.

It's confirmed when something very much alive is forced upon him - and it definitely is not Fai. He opens his eyes and down at the puppy.

Of course he understands why. For ages the mage has been referring to him as Kuro-puppy or even as Big Dog once, the color is for the fact that nearly everything he ever wears is black. But STILL.]

What the hell am I supposed to do with this?

[Animals are not something he's good with. He has trouble enough with people.]

[Fai doesn't let his good mood or his smile fade at Kurogane's reaction. He'd been expecting this. Even if he can get Kurogane to accept the puppy, he's still going to have to talk him through it.]

You could try petting him, Kuro-Daddy. He's a baby, he needs love and attention~

[The puppy is sprawled on Kurogane's chest with his little behind wiggling, staring up at the big man curiously.]

Drunk and Puppies

Kurogane | Tsubasa Chronicle

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