bakerstreet | the blanket burrito meme (gen or shipping).

[do you need to be burrito'd? Do you need to burrito Shiro? ~~do we ALL need to be burrito'd after season 2?~~ Good with it all. Come at me. All caught up on canon. Open to cross-canon/medium as well as canon.]

{OOC: Definitely need some burrito after season 2...}

[If Keith had seemed troubled before the trials, he was even more so now. Allura was downright hostile towards him, completely ignoring his existence except to throw contemptuous glares in his direction. Was she going to replace him as a Paladin? Could she?

What did it mean that Red was so attached to him, anyway? She had almost torn that base apart trying to get to him. She responded to him across distances even Allura and Coran didn't know were possible. If Allura tried to replace him, would Red accept a new Paladin or would she resist?

And the nightmares... could he even trust himself?

All this was circling in his head and he was spending a lot of time alone in his room staring at that knife. Today, he was extra broody, and currently had his blanket pulled over his head.]

[oc: DEFINITELY need some burrito after that! Man, my heart - ]

[For all they've gained, Shiro's more worried about what they might have lost by getting involved with the Blades of Marmora. Allura is dealing with the knowledge that one of the paladins is part Galra and... and so is the paladin. Shiro knows that he should have stronger feelings himself. He is the one that was caught and tortured for a year by them, had his mind and his arm ripped away as well as his Kerberos crew. If anyone should be reacting badly to this - well, he didn't live through the genocide of his entire race but he thinks he's got a good reason to be upset as well.

Except he's not.

He's not because he was tortured - but he was also rescued by a Galra. A Galra gave his life save him and his team. And - Shiro's not very good at hating large groups. What he feels about Zarkon, what he feels about Haggar - those are different. Those are personal. But he can't hate based on skin or race no matter what some of them did to him. He - doesn't think he'd like what he'd become if he let himself fall into that.

Even more than that though...

it's Keith. Whatever's in his blood doesn't matter. It doesn't change who the younger paladin is, or Shiro's feelings about him.

Which is why he's standing outside the door to the room of the person in question. He knows Keith is carrying things as best he can - but that's a weight he shouldn't have to carry alone. Reaching out, Shiro palms the chime to announce he's there.]

Open up, buddy. It's me.

[In a lot of ways, where as Shiro was definitely an adult, the rest of the Paladins were still just kids. And the world and war they had been thrust into was pretty heavy for them. There had been a lot of good, but there had been a lot of bad, too, and juggling all of it around could be hard for kids to handle.

But, yet, there they were. And there it was.

And Keith sighed into his pillow when he heard the chime. It was more habit than anything else that made him slide the sheathed blade under that pillow as he answered.]

It's not locked.

[Shiro takes it as a good sign when Keith actually answers. Not that he'd expected Keith to outright ignore him, the younger paladin would never do that, but there has to be the temptation to keep hiding and Shiro's grateful Keith at least lets him in this far.

He's not sure what he can say to help. He can't change Allura. That's something she's going to have to work through herself. And he can't change what Keith is or that knowledge. But he can be there and be himself and give Keith as much as the younger paladin may need. He just hopes its enough.]

Hey. [His voice is soft as he lets himself into the room, waiting until the door shuts behind him to make his way over to the bed and sit down on the edge of it. Shiro never forgets that Keith is young but right now he looks even younger and it cracks inside of Shiro's chest. Dipping his head down a little, letting Keith set the pace, he simply goes with an open ended:]

You didn't make it to breakfast this morning.

[Keith shifted just enough to give Shiro room to sit, but really didn't move beyond that. He'd been alternating between isolating himself in his quarters and destroying drones in the training room to work out all the kinks in his head, but it didn't seem to be helping much.

He hadn't figured out how to make use of the upside down pool, yet.

He sighed.]

I wasn't hungry.

[Which was partially true. Hunk had come really far in figuring out how to work with some of the ingredients in the kitchen to make actual meals, but it was still a learning process considering he couldn't read the package labels, and there were only so many times someone could stomach that damn food goo.

The other thing was he was sort of avoiding everyone else on the ship, and meal times were a minefield of awkwardness right now. Between Death Glares of Doom™ from Allura and Hunk waiting for him to turn purple, Keith was getting a little tired of the scrutiny.]

[The fact Keith doesn't really emerge from his blanket cocoon tells Shiro what he needs to know and his face softens. Reaching out he rests a hand on the other paladin's back.

The answer isn't really a surprise. And Shiro can guess the reasons behind it. He doesn't think they're really talking to talk about food anyway. It's just an open door and a line of connection.

He still reaches into one of the pouches on his hip and pull out a couple of packaged food bars. Once he'd found out there were actual malls, he'd insisted on getting a few basic stables. He sets them on the bed next to Keith's head and don't take his other hand away. His voice stays soft and low, willing to take this where Keith wants or not take it anywhere at all if he doesn't want to. Shiro is here to simply be here.]

You didn't miss much. Lance and Hunk are still trying to figure out how to make cheese and it is not going well.

[That comment hit the right nerve. It was hard to think of that and not be amused at the potential results. Keith chuckled a bit.]

I feel bad for the kitchen.

[He could still pull out a deadpan one-liner when he was into it, and appreciated the mental image.

He turned now, not discarding the blanket, but moving around until he was sitting up with it wrapped over his shoulders. He noted the meal bars and gave Shiro something of a weak, but thankful smile.]

Sorry to be a worry.

Feel more bad for them. They've got clean up duty and that cheese mix got everywhere.

[He says it with a fond tone of voice though. He's glad they're working on their new project. They've even managed to drag Pidge in because she wants yogurt and is determined to find the most scientific way to create it. Shiro's not really sure if Coran is being helpful with all the food experiments or not but he's certainly enthusiastically involved. Shiro's smile softens as Keith sits up, still blanket wrapped and simply moves his hand with him so its still on the younger paladin's back. It's a half open hug without actually hugging, more the offer of being closer or keeping his space depending on what Keith needs. He shakes his head and his eyes are soft.]

You've got plenty of reason. Don't apologize. You're allowed to take this at your own speed.

[Shiro, stop making him laugh! He was trying to mope. How could he properly brood if he kept picturing a cheesy mess in the kitchen?

Still, though, Shiro's efforts at trying to get him out of that funk were appreciated all the same. He kind of understood what Shiro was doing, and he was grateful for it. It had been a long time since he had someone to do that for him in his life, having never known his mom and having lost his dad when he was young.

Which brought him right back to the situation at hand. His mom...]

Yeah. It's a lot to think about. I don't even really know what it all means for us.

[Personal feelings about the Galra themselves aside, this might mean Keith would have to take other considerations into account when it came to his actual physiology. He'd already discovered that he could take a hit from a druid spell and heal pretty fast from it, something he hadn't mentioned, yet, and his injuries from the Trials had also been healing faster than he expected. He wasn't sure if it was because they were all more in tune with quintessence now, or if he just never noticed before back on Earth.

And there were other things he'd been thinking about. If his temper was a side-effect of his heritage, could he trust himself not to do something reactionary to put the team in danger if things got too out of hand? He was a little scared of himself now. What other abilities might he have that he didn't know about? Would he accidentally hurt someone without realizing it?

There was also that other thing...]

Do you still think it's a good idea for me to be your second?

[Keith honestly hadn't wanted it even when he still thought he was fully human because he didn't think he could handle it, but now? He was even less confident about the idea.]

[Part of being part of a team... a family... was being able to use them to distract yourself from your own problems. For the first time Keith's got that and Shiro sees no reason not to use it when its called for. Keith doesn't have to stand on the outside and look in anymore. He's a part of things.

Even if he's still allowed to retreat from time to time. Though - if Shiro doesn't help, he's seriously considering sending in Lance next. If uplift and soothing doesn't help, maybe ruffled feathers will. But for now - Keith gets the gentle treatment. And its good to hear him laughing. It all comes back around though and Shiro rubs small circles on Keith's back over the blanket as he lets him talk. In no hurry and not going anywhere. At the question though - ]

Of course you're my second. [It's said softly but without a hint of hesitation or question, firm and absolute.] And still my first choice for leader of Voltron if anything happens to me. You're still you. Nothing's changed except you know a bit more about your past. Nothing's changed between us. Or in your abilities. Or your place with this team.

Edited 2017-01-28 07:19 (UTC)

[He swallowed hard as Shiro's words definitely hit home. Having some support was important, and he was scared of what all this new stuff meant for him. The almost complete rejection from Allura had hurt more than he thought possible, and having Shiro reassure him like this was exactly what he needed.

Feather ruffling from Lance probably wouldn't hurt, either, but this was good for now.

He looked relieved.]

Thank you.

[Knowing the team, Keith will only be allowed to be on his own for just so long. They're a make-shift bunch but they're a team and each of the other teams is more aware of that bond and how they're tied into it than Shiro thinks they realize most of the time. He's very proud of them. His hand shifts from Keith's back to his shoulder to give it a gentle squeeze.]

That's what I'm here for. Besides, [His look goes a little wry and he lifts his other hand. His mechanical hand. Opens and closes the fingers for Keith.] You're not the only one that's part Galra, you know.

[Keith's eyes widened a little at the revelation. It was like a whole new light had been shed on Shiro's own situation. The sudden coincidence wasn't lost on him.]

Your right arm. [He smiled a bit, also rather wryly.] The Red Lion is the right arm, too.

[Funny how that worked out...]

[There's a soft sound from Shiro, amusement and surprise, and his smile spreads a little.]

Hadn't thought of that. [Reaching up, he ruffles Keith's hair lightly, affectionately.] And you're my right hand. Looks almost like it was meant to be, doesn't it?

Yeah. Maybe.

[He pushed Shiro's hand away with a small smile.]

Stop.

[He lets Keith push his hand away without fighting it. It's good to see that small smile. All of the team is going through so much adjustment just by being in alien space in the middle of a war they never asked for. Throwing alien parentage on top of that...

Sometimes Shiro's amazed they still all manage to be so normal. Amazed - and proud. He knows it costs them to hold on to themselves. His hand falls back to his thigh and he hums a low sound.]

Maybe. [From the sides of his eyes he watches his friend.] The rest of the team is giving you your space because they think its what you want. But they're worried.

[That got something of a sag in response. The last thing he wanted was everyone worrying... geeze. He rubbed the back of his neck with a sigh.]

I just... [Ugh.] I don't know what I want, if anything. I don't want to be different. I don't want to be worried about. I just want things to be okay.

[But they weren't. Things were different. People were worrying. And Keith was anything but okay right now. He was confused, frustrated, freaked out... and just plain lost.

He used to think he was good at this independent thing after being on his own from so young, but not so much anymore.]

[Shiro watches him without turning his head, letting him try to get out what's inside and doing his best to not just understand it - because he understands it just fine - but to figure out what will help Keith the most to hear.

After a minute, he inhales and then lets it out slow. And he goes with the truth.]

I know. I know that being different can be frightening. You think you know who you are and then you realize there are pieces of yourself you didn't know about before. What if those pieces change you, what if they've been changing you and you never realized it. What if those pieces take over or react in ways you don't expect and betray you. [Shiro lifts his metal hand, flexes the fingers, slowly lets it sink to rest on his thigh again. And he looks back at Keith.] All you can do is the best you can. Each day doing the best you can. And then doing it again the next day. You may have to adjust. Some days you might fail. But you have to keep going. Because that's how you win in the end. That's how you make sure you stay or become, the you that you're determined to be.

[Reaching out Shiro lightly pressed his human knuckles against Keith's chest, right in the center of his rib cage and he pushes, just enough to put pressure there.]

You decide who you are. And then you make it happen. And you keep making it happen every day. Whoever your mother was, whatever she did or didn't do, whatever blood runs through your veins - you decide what that means. And you don't let anyone else take that away from you.

[He closed his eyes as Shiro finished, having listened carefully to the whole thing. Keith respected Shiro a lot. It was more than just Lance's hero worship, and his advice always meant way more to Keith than Shiro usually realized. He sighed a little, and then leaned against the Black Paladin a little, his mentor, looking for a physical manifestation of the support Shiro was always willing to provide. His voice was quiet when he spoke again.]

Thanks.

[Shiro is always at a low level of touch starvation for all he never does anything about it and when Keith leans against him, he welcomes it with a quiet hum, shifting so he can wrap an arm loosely around the younger paladin and let him lean. He rests his chin on top of Keith's head and exhales, but his voice is warm and holds the pride he feels for the other in it.]

You'll do fine. I know you. You can handle this. And the rest of the team is behind you too. Don't underestimate them. They'll get you where you need to go.

[He nodded. So far, everyone on the team itself had been nothing but supportive. A little weirded out and potentially slightly awkward in approaching him about it, sure (stop staring, Hunk, he wasn't going to turn purple), but definitely supportive. He was grateful for that. It was a lot to process.]

Do you think my dad was ever going to tell me?

[Maybe he just never got the chance. He had to have known, right? It's kind of a big thing to not tell someone that their mother had alien lineage.]

[He mentions the team because -

because he's preparing Keith, even when Keith isn't aware of it. After the attack by Haggar, Shiro's hit the realization. He might not always be around. And if he's not - he meant it. He can't think of anyone better to lead them, to pull them together, to push them and shelter them, to bring out the best in them and to need them, the way Keith will. And that starts with Keith thinking of them as 'his' team even if he doesn't think of it as his. It's not fair. Keith has too much on his shoulders already but -

if Shiro falls he needs to know that it won't destroy the team. That he'll have put everything in place that he possibly can to give them what they need to keep going, to win. Without him if necessary. And Keith is his ace in the hole for that, because he thinks Keith understands both the large picture, and his teammates, better than he gives himself credit for or lets himself experience.

It's still not fair. It's not fair to Keith at all. Shiro gives the arm around the younger paladin's shoulders a gentle squeeze and hums low in his chest where he knows Keith will feel it.]

Its possible. Parents always tell themselves they'll admit to things 'when he's older'. It's not the kind of thing you can just tell a small child and not expect them to repeat innocently and for all the people that would have passed it off as fantasy - there might have been people listening that wouldn't have. There's no way of knowing. I'd like to think he meant to, one day. [Shiro pauses, debates. And then continues:] It would have been an interesting story. Your mother must have been impressive when you consider all she would have had to do as a Galra on Earth to escape detection and fall in love.

[Keith nodded.]

I'd like to think that, too.

[He knew what he had seen during the Trials was more a reflection of what was in his own mind, his own fears, his own desires. Seeing his dad like that had been kind of shock, but it had pushed him to make his choice. He could find out more on his own in time, but making sure he was there for the team was important.

He wanted to think his dad had a good reason for keeping things a secret for so long, and that he just never got the chance he thought he would have.]

I can't imagine what she had to go through to blend in. [He frowned a little.] It's weird, though. I don't look anything like a Galra.

[Shiro has no idea in the world how a Galra managed to escape detection on Earth, much less how one managed to stick around and interact long enough for a human to not only fall in love with her but have a kid too. The Galra he's seen haven't exactly been easy to hide. Maybe they've got some kind of cloaking device like Pidge put on Green or some kind of digital disguise - though he hasn't seen proof of either of those things existing. If they're shape-shifters like Allura she's failed to mention that as well. Coran might have an idea but they haven't exactly had the time or the inclination to ask him yet. Shiro, one arm still around Keith, reaches over with his other and gives one of the younger paladin's ears a light tug, craning his neck as if he's looking.]

Are you sure? Because I've always thought your ears were a little pointed. Didn't want to say anything and make you self-conscious -

the blanket burrito meme (gen or shipping).

Shiro | Voltron: LD

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just a head's up, my tags are going to be sporatic for a while, still interested though!

No problem! :-)

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