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It's that time again, kiddos

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1. This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home.

2. My phone just said I texted someone at 0400 and said let’s fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.

3. I’ve achieved a new state of being which is sustained only by coffee and unrelenting rage.

4. Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona. Pretty sure i got here on foot.

5. Text...him???

youre welcome mate

Be sure to let me know the next time you need a 4AM ass-kicking.

you can kick my ass anytime mate ;D ;D ;D

I'm not your mate.

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comingupexplody - 2016-12-30 20:47 (UTC) - Expand

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mylawn - 2016-12-30 21:26 (UTC) - Expand

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comingupexplody - 2016-12-30 21:36 (UTC) - Expand

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mylawn - 2016-12-30 22:48 (UTC) - Expand

sehr gut. maybe you will meet with old friends and have a grand time.

Not exactly optimistic, if I'm being honest.

When are you ever, my friend? So I will be so for the both of us. You'll love BINGO night, I'm sure.

The day I sit in a bingo hall is the day I ask you to put me out of my misery.

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panzersoldat - 2016-12-30 21:52 (UTC) - Expand

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mylawn - 2016-12-30 22:44 (UTC) - Expand

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panzersoldat - 2016-12-30 22:48 (UTC) - Expand

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mylawn - 2016-12-31 00:20 (UTC) - Expand

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panzersoldat - 2016-12-31 00:27 (UTC) - Expand

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mylawn - 2016-12-31 01:16 (UTC) - Expand

Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.

Who was it?

You have to tell me.

You have to guess first and I'll send you the picture if you're right in three tries.

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mylawn - 2016-12-30 20:39 (UTC) - Expand

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cadeuces - 2016-12-30 20:40 (UTC) - Expand

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mylawn - 2016-12-30 21:29 (UTC) - Expand

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mylawn - 2016-12-30 23:04 (UTC) - Expand

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mylawn - 2016-12-31 05:27 (UTC) - Expand

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mylawn - 2016-12-31 15:59 (UTC) - Expand

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mylawn - 2017-01-02 00:07 (UTC) - Expand

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mylawn - 2017-01-02 19:33 (UTC) - Expand

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mylawn - 2017-01-02 21:10 (UTC) - Expand

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mylawn - 2017-01-03 05:18 (UTC) - Expand

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mylawn - 2017-01-03 05:36 (UTC) - Expand

I feel like I oughta be less surprised. D'you need a rescue? All you gotta do is holler.

Depends on where you are and what you're driving.

Picky aintcha?

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mylawn - 2016-12-31 01:01 (UTC) - Expand

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ride_emcowboy - 2016-12-31 01:13 (UTC) - Expand

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mylawn - 2016-12-31 04:44 (UTC) - Expand

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ride_emcowboy - 2016-12-31 04:56 (UTC) - Expand

OKAY JUST DON'T TRY TO ADD ENERGY DRINKS TO THE MIX I SPILT SOME ON MY PHONE AND NOW THAT CAPS WON'T TURN OFF I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS IS POSSIBLE BECAUSE THE SCREEN IS HOLOGRAPHIC

Is it possible that you drank them?

I DID BUT THAT WOULD NOT AFFECT MY KEYBOARD I CAME TO YOU FOR POSSIBLE ADVICE NOT SNARKY COMMENTS

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mylawn - 2016-12-31 00:30 (UTC) - Expand

Guess you were worried about missing dice with the old boys.

How long did that one take you?

Aw. Somebody's getting grouchy in his old age.

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mylawn - 2016-12-31 02:00 (UTC) - Expand

Just Arizona this time? You must be slowing down, in your age.

On my way. Don't you dare take that as a challenge.

I know. Usually by this time I'd be halfway to Mexico City.

Not too late to race you there.

And usually, I'd be the one to bail you out of whatever foolishness you got yourself into.

You say that as if I'm not already halfway there myself.

[She didn't put up with your reckless ass for all of these years to not fully anticipate this happening.]

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mylawn - 2016-12-31 03:59 (UTC) - Expand

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mylawn - 2017-01-01 05:32 (UTC) - Expand

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