Have yourself a merry little...

THE CRACK PAIRING MEME

crack pairing

An unusual relationship of any kind of fandom (i.e. books, television shows, movies, ect.) that is unlikely to happen.

Randomly take two characters… they don’t have to know each other, they don’t have to show ANY signs of a relationship, and hook them together. That is a crack pairing.

We all know them. Fandoms have fostered these little gems of shipping since the early days, and now, they can even be serious contenders in even the most hostile of shipping wars. Maybe they're absolutely ridiculous and only "for the lulz." Perhaps they make perfect sense...if you squint. Whatever the case may be, these so-called "crack" pairings are not canon and they're nowhere near as popular in fandom as the big fanon pairings.

Most of the time.

Of course, it's important to note that a lot of the time in RP, pairings are always crack pairings. Especially crossover ships, which canon purists would deride purely for being impossible. Still, in memes, that's less likely to happen because people either stick with canon ships, fanon ships, or close CR because of the lack of opportunities for development that games offer.

Not here. This meme is for ALL your ridiculousness, all your high school fangirl dreams, and just plain not being sorry for your ships. Think these characters would be cute together? Go for it. That character have adorable icons and that all you know about them? Ship it, by all means. Here, the reasons come after the desire.

RULES
- Comment with your character and preferences. If you want, you can include a one sentence or so blurb about your character. But blank comments are fine.
- Tag to others.
- RNG for prompts. Prompts cannibalized from random memes.

Sweet
1. Can't deny it - you've tried to run from your feelings for so long and you can't do it anymore. It's time that you show the object of your affection exactly how you feel. Hopefully you don't lose everything in the process!
2. First time - it's your first time making love together. Is it awkward? Do you go all out or is it spur of the moment?
3. Accidental - you didn't actually mean to confess or kiss. They overheard you or it was an accidental kiss. Maybe you were just really drunk and let it slip!
4. Close as can be - you just want to make love and you've found a spot where it's just you and your partner, however you want it to be.
5. Happily ever after - somehow, you've made it work and you're both happy together, even if it meant you had to run away together.
6. Appreciation - show appreciation for your lover! With words, a look, or whatever your choice way to display affection is!
7. Cuddling - nothing wrong with a day of cuddling...
8. Vacation - you're on a vacation! Wherever you want to be. Road trip, amusement park, Grand Canyon, etc.
9. Family - you're visiting family! Maybe they find out about your relationship, maybe they already know, or however you want to play it out! Maybe you've got news you're starting a family by getting pregnant, adopting, or even getting a new pet.
10. Acceptance - someone who disapproved of your relationship before suddenly approves. How's that feel to you and your lover?
11. Surprise - you've planned a surprise! What is it?
12. Date - first date, second date, hundredth date, etc. What are you doing for it?
13. Reunited → it's been awhile since you've seen each other and nothing can ruin this moment.
14. Other - is there another scene you'd like to play out? Want to combine something? Do it here!

Angst
1. Conflict - you've just had a fight with your lover over your relationship or how you handle it. Can you find it in yourselves to forgive each other?
2. Cheated - your lover has cheated on you and you need to confront them about their reasons why and if you can work it out.
3. Found out - you've been found out by someone close to you and they're less than thrilled with your relationship.
4. Disgust - though they play along with it, they're secretly disgusted by the relationship they have with you and it finally comes out into the light.
5. Guilt - one of you is feeling guilty over your relationship, knowing it can never be truly normal or more than a secret.
6. Other - is there another scene you'd like to play out? Want to combine something? Do it here!

Comfort
1. Soothing touch - what better way to sooth your lover than to make love to them and show them that no matter what other people say, you're not going anywhere.
2. Fight for you - whoever has found out about your relationship is trying to hurt your lover and you're not going to let them.
3. Won't let you go - you need your lover to realize that you won't let them go, no matter what.
4. Back together - you broke up for a bit, but whatever it is between you two, you can't stay apart.
5. Injured - your lover was injured because of your relationship and it's time to patch them up.
6. Other - is there another scene you'd like to play out? Want to combine something? Do it here!

Twisted
1. Forced - you know your partner isn't interested in you like this, but you keep them going along with the relationship no matter what. Coercion, blackmail, whatever it takes.
2. Won't take no - their lips might say no, but you're not listening.
3. Control - you've given them some kind of potion to get your love interest to love you in return and they have to do whatever you say.
4. Recorded - you're not really interested in this forbidden love affair, but you must do it or you'll face some tough consequences.
5. Insult - you're cornered by those who disapprove of your relationship, hearing how filthy you are.
6. Other - is there another scene you'd like to play out? Want to combine something? Do it here!

Sexy
1. Rough - you want it rough and hard tonight. Bites, scratches, bruises, etc.
2. Toys - you want to try some props tonight... toys or fuzzy handcuffs.
3. Bondage - more extreme. You're tied up, used, forced to orgasm, whatever.
4. Make up - make up sex is the best sex.
5. Public - you're feeling a little wild so why not a blowjob under the tablecloth in a restaurant or sex in the car?
6. Interrupted - oh yes, oh yes, oh--who the hell is that watching us?!
7. Other - is there another scene you'd like to play out? Want to combine something? Do it here!

Ending
1. Left alone - you woke up to your lover trying to slip away in the night because of the strain of the relationship. Do you let them go or try and fight for it?
2. Torn apart - others are keeping you apart after they found out about your relationship, giving you only minimal contact. What do you do?
3. Ending fight - the argument has turned dirty and ends with one of you storming out.
4. Parting ways - both of you have decided to part ways. It's just so much easier.
5. Always love you - though you'll always love each other, maybe it's time the relationship goes back to being strictly platonic. It would be easier... or maybe that's just how one of you feels.
6. Other - is there another scene you'd like to play out? Want to combine something? Do it here!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

(Kristen Kringle from Gotham? Can easily AU her into working at Scotland Yard as a civilian if needed.)

(oh my goodness yes. I'm happy to AU Dirk into Gotham too if you prefer. Would you like me to start something or you?)

_{(Also I think I owe you an apology because I flaked out on a thread with you and my Ed a while back I'm so sorry!)}

(Bring Dirk into Gotham! I'm current on canon through the fall finale if you want to use the Court of Owls or Isabella as plot points too (I only stop her canon at "Knock,Knock"). You can also start and I'm current on his show so no worried on spoilers.

And no worries, life has a way of barging in on our fun.)

_{(I'm an episode or two behind but mostly caught up, might borrow elements where necessary [😊] As for Dirk, I'll maybe skip the last few moments of the last ep, for obvious reasons XD I rolled a sweet/9, let me know if this works)}

Dirk hated Gotham. It was loud and scary and dirty and full of people who inexplicably (or, occasionally, slightly more explicably) wanted to kill him and, well, yes that was sort of the story of his life, but Gotham made it a lot less fun.

Then he'd stumbled across Kristen, in the way that he stumbles across everything in his life, and it had all seemed a little bit... brighter, somehow. It was similar to the way being around Todd made everything a bit more fun, but different, and so of course in his usual, blundering Dirk way he'd clung onto it, and somehow it had all worked out alright.

He still had work to do here, there was still a mystery to solve, but he was so excited by this new development in his life that he wanted to share it, for most people that meant family, for him... well he'd sort of made a family of his own.

"Kristen? Kristen," he bounced into her office at the GCPD without a care in the world (and without knocking), "I have made a decision!"

The click of kitten heels could be heard as Kristen spotted (and heard) Dirk basically barge into the annex. She would not have it any other way if she was being honest. They had only met over the summer but he was in town more thanks to everything at Indian Hill so they had bonded and were basically dating according to half the GCPD. "Back here! Its like everyone brought boxes back at once!" she called with a smile,"And what did you decide? Pizza toppings or new leads?" since they joke around just as much as they trade leads.

"Do you want me to help?" He offered enthusiastically as he half-bounded over to where she was. He genuinely wanted to help, but when it came to proper police work and actual sorting he was... a little less than helpful. He usually ruined evidence entirely by accident.

"Oh, neither, actually," he answered her question in his usual bouncy tone "Well, actually, I was thinking about the possibility of other- no, never mind, it's not important, back to my decision!" he was enthused, but there was an obvious undercurrent of nervousness in the way his gaze remained trained on her, hoping she would respond positively to what he was going to say.

"I want you to meet my family."

"I think we're good, one more box and I can clock out!" Kristen called back as she made short work of said box. Dirk meant well but she's got her system to maintain after all. A dark eye lifted upwards but in the best sense,"Do tell?" since she's actually curious. Family had been discussed some over the last few visits,"The group you've been telling me about over the last couple of visits?" she asked to be clear on what he was saying. But she's smiling at the idea, he's met most of GCPD by now so it was only fitting.

"Yes!" Dirk agreed brightly, pleased that she'd remembered them - he wasn't always sure people listened when he spoke, so it was nice to have the confirmation.

"Obviously I would like you to meet my real family, but I don't... I mean..." there was a momentary hesitation, a hint of the vulnerability he normally hid so well, before he barreled on "Todd and Farah and Amanda are sort of the family I've made for myself and I've told them a lot about you and I'd like you to meet them. What do you think?"

As Kristen made short work of that final box she had grabbed her coat and came out from the file room. She had seen the moment of vulnerability and slid her hand into Dirk's,"Well I'm excited about this, finally meeting the people I feel like I've gotten to know via your tales over the last few months. So consider me ready to meet your family of choice."

"Really?" he asked brightly, sounding surprised that she'd agreed to it so easily, though it was hard to tell whether it was because he was surprised that she wanted to meet them because of him or because of the the things he'd told her about them.

"I'm excited about this too," he confided "I think you'll love them. Well. They'll love you, definitely, because you're lovely. I think you'll like Farah. Todd... Todd can be a little prickly, but Amanda is lovely. Did you know Todd threw a shoe at me the first time we met?"

"I can handle prickly, you've seen me deal with Bullock after all." Kristen gently reminded Dirk. "A shoe? New story so do tell?" since the tales of his world were nothing like her life in Gotham so she loves every little peek.

"Oh, yes, that is true. He's not as bad a Bullock. Sort of. I mean, he's very different to Bullock, not as... shouty." he pulled a face "but I'm sure he'll love you, you're lovely."

"Oh, didn't I tell you about that? Well, the first time we met I was climbing in his window and he just threw a shoe at me!" he explained incredulously, like he couldn't believe it "He attacked me even though he was going to be my best friend."

"Well you know the shoe is a logical reaction anyone could have." Kristen observed. "But in the end it has a happy ending and you coming to Gotham being part of that ongoing puzzle." she added with a smile. And she then asked,"Nobody can top Bullock on the shout o meter." she had to giggle since she's shared tales galore from Nygma's riddles to Bullock being shouty.

Dirk's face falls a little at the comment that the shoe throwing was a logical reaction, after all at the time he'd been very surprised that his future best friend would start off by throwing a shoe at him, it had seemed an odd thing to do. He was always a little put out by reminders that he was kind of the odd one. He rallied after only a moment though, smiling brightly at her giggling.

"Do you have a shout-o-meter, how does it work?"

"I've made up a version on paper!" Kristen giggled as she pulled Dirk into a quick hug before fishing the notebook from her purse. "I ranked most of GCPD on it by now with Bullock in the lead." she explained the ranking system as they walked. "And yes it happened during a slow day when I had nothing to do."

"Ooh, I love a good ranking system," he said genuinely, listening with rapt attention as she explained how it worked "Okay, okay, so let me see if I have this right... I think my friend Todd would be a four on your meter, but sometimes when he's very mad he can be a six. He's more grumpy than shouty. I don't know any shouty people actually, well, I mean the rowdy 3 are a bit shouty. Quite shouty. Okay they're very shouty actually."

"So Todd would be a floater on the tanking scale?" Kristen was being sure of course. "The Rowdy 3 just sounds miserable, just pain in the tails or something more?" since she was trying to remember if there had been tales about them shared. "As for most of the system Gordon's at the bottom, has his moments but not shouty unless its a crisis."

"There's nothing just anything about the rowdy 3," Dirk commented bitterly "Amanda will probably tell you otherwise but don't listen to her, she's wrong. Except about everything else because she's lovely." he did like Amanda, a lot, but he'd never understand her attachment to the rowdy 3.

"Oh, yes, I know the type, I'm pretty sure Ri-" he stopped, apparently deciding against it, and carried on "I have met people like that before."

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Have yourself a merry little...

crack pairing

Dirk Gently | Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency | OTA

Re: Dirk Gently | Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency | OTA

Re: Dirk Gently | Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency | OTA

Re: Dirk Gently | Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency | OTA

Re: Dirk Gently | Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency | OTA

Re: Dirk Gently | Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency | OTA

Re: Dirk Gently | Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency | OTA

Re: Dirk Gently | Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency | OTA

Re: Dirk Gently | Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency | OTA

Re: Dirk Gently | Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency | OTA

Re: Dirk Gently | Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency | OTA

Re: Dirk Gently | Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency | OTA

Re: Dirk Gently | Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency | OTA

Re: Dirk Gently | Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency | OTA

Re: Dirk Gently | Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency | OTA

Re: Dirk Gently | Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency | OTA

Re: Dirk Gently | Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency | OTA

Re: Dirk Gently | Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency | OTA

Re: Dirk Gently | Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency | OTA