bakerstreet | ignite the light and let it shine

ignite the light and let it shine

THE CAMPFIRE MEME

-Okay so you're sitting around a sweet-ass bonfire in the countryside
-or on a beach
-or under the fucking water for all I care, fuck science, it's your choice
-There's probably like, s'more making or hotdog roasting too, who the fuck cares
-And cheesy sing-a-long songs
-And possibly even underwear burning or like throwing random things into the fire
-Or even dancing naked around it like the satanic witches you are.
-Since y'all are suckers for romance the bonfire is pretty fucking romantic
-It can also be pretty fucking platonic because let's face it sometimes you want to do shit with friends
-Just roll with the scenario, have fun, and enjoy the fucking bonfire because it really looks fucking awesome

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At long last, Jeyne and her entourage were on their way home. She was fully recovered from her wound - but that did not mean she was back to normal. She was still plagued with difficulty sleeping. New side effects from the traumas she'd experienced revealed themselves daily.

Night has fallen and the camp has settled in for the night. Several fires are lit, but by the time Jeyne restlessly emerges from her tent, all but one have been reduced to coals. Flames dance at the edge of the camp and she makes her way toward them. Perhaps their warmth will help her sleep. She assumed that everyone had turned in for the night, but she was happy to find that she was wrong when she spotted Stark illuminated by the firelight as she drew closer. She smiled and felt a pang of worry of her appearance after a day of riding, then chided herself. However she might look, he had already seen her at her absolute worst. She need not worry.

"Good evening," she said, her voice loud enough to hear but not so loud as to wake anyone sleeping nearby. She could not explain why, but she did not want anyone else intruding.

When the camp settled in, Robb had fallen asleep early in the evening. Exhaustion was written all over his face and he even skipped the evening's meal accidentally. Warmed by the fire, it didn't take long for him to fall asleep but it was his own dreams and anxieties that woke him up in the middle of the night.

The fire had burned down and a small shiver crept up his spine, bringing him to stoke the fire back up into a healthy blaze. He sat wrapped in his blanket and watched the flames dance about when he heard someone approach and offer a soft hello.

"You're awake?" It had to have been in the middle of the night. Shaking his head with a slight chuckle, he answered his own question, "I guess you're not the only one still being haunted by their own thoughts."

It was not so late, at least not in Jeyne's opinion. She could admit, though, that her opinion might be skewed by her recent sleeping habits.

"It may be selfish of me, but I am glad I am not the only one." He not only shared her physical space, but her emotional state too. He took away the loneliness, and he did it without even trying. She looked for a place to sit down and, not finding anything resembling a seat, she decided the ground would do. The ground beside Robb.

"What has you awake? The same as always?" His family, she assumed.

"Aye." He muttered quietly, looking back to the fire once she sat down. It took him a minute to register that she had sat on the ground while he on a log.

"Forgive me, you can have my seat." He stood, feeling ashamed he hadn't offered this in the first place.

She had not noticed the log, or she would have sat on it instead of the ground, which thankfully was not wet. She nodded and shifted to the spot he vacated, gesturing for him to sit next to her.

"There is enough room for both of us, I believe." She didn't much feel like being treated like a queen for the moment. And one of the things she enjoyed so much about being with Robb was that she never felt pressured to act like a queen either.

"This may sound strange, but I'm beginning to dread being home again."

He joins her and sits beside her, gaze still remaining on the flames. He doesn't say anything, lost in his own thoughts until the sound of her voice brings him back.

Unfortunately, he didn't know how to answer. He had barely spent any time in his family's house after the attack, and wasn't sure if he could stomach being in his own bed again. He had grown accustomed to the worn cot he was assigned, which was better than the ground for most.

"I don't think it's dread but apprehension, really." He finally replies and breaks his gaze to look upon her, "I imagine things will feel very different once we're home."

She nods in agreement. Apprehension most definitely.

"I suspect your concerns are similar to mine? It is easier to avoid thinking of those who are gone when you are not surrounded by the places you shared with them." She at least would be surrounded by those still living. Her sadness deepened when she thought of his plight, to be alone in a home once lively and bustling. She wonders if she might have an idea that would help them both.

"Perhaps if there were a distraction, being home would not be so terrible. Instead of thinking on what I have lost, I could instead focus on what I've gained." She did not realize he was looking at her until she turned her own gaze toward him. She managed a small, crooked grin as an unusual bout of anxiousness struck her.

"New friends, for example?"

"Aye, this is true." Robb certainly had felt he had gained a new family with the soldiers during this time. And the healers. He imagined he wasn't the only one to feel this way, as many have lost loved ones and families during the attacks.

And he had found a fondness for Jeyne as well during their time together. He valued her opinion and their chats they've shared. He had been meaning to tell her of what she had revealed to him during her sleep, but the timing never seemed quite right.

He offers her a smile in return.

The longer they sit in silence looking at each other, the more words she should not say bubble up inside her and threaten to escape. Her own thoughts surprise her yet feel completely sensible. The boldness she has learned on the battlefield finally takes over, and she speaks haltingly as she tries to rein in her feelings.

"I know it won't be long before you leave for the Citadel, but you are welcome to stay at The Crag. There's more than enough room and..." Her eyes avoid his for a moment, wandering everywhere else possible. How they end up on his hands, then his hair, then his lips makes thinking clearly increasingly difficult.

"I would like- I would feel more comfortable having you nearby." She wants him close. She wants to continue to see him every day. She wants that daily reminder that she is more than just a queen.

"Thank you for the offer, your grace." He replies with respect and admiration for her, a soft smile spreading from his lips.

He hadn't ever been good with words or expressing his feelings, preferring to bottle up everything until later, but there was something about this relationship with Jeyne that finally had him opening up to her. If he were honest, he had become rather fond of her, appreciating their time spent together and the chats they've had.

But he didn't know if he'd take this offer, if he were honest. He didn't mind making the short walk to the castle each day or when needed, but he wasn't entirely suited to live there. He'd imagine himself a stranger and unable to live up to the expectations of her family.

"Please. Call me Jeyne." He's earned that much, and she no longer views him as someone who owes he deference. In fact, she respects him more than herself. If asked, she would say he deserves to be a king much more than she a queen.

She holds her hands out to the fire and lightly rubs them together though they are not particularly cold. She finds herself unsure of what to say next. He has not accepted her offer. He hasn't rejected it either, and she did not think he was the kind of person who would act out of fear of offending her.

"You needn't decide now. The offer will remain open until... well, for as long as I am queen." She'd nearly said 'forever'. The Crag's gates would remain open to him until they no longer needed to be. She could order him to accept but that would defeat the purpose.

"You should be resting," Jeyne said, finding her husband alone by the fire. The raucous noise of the camp had fallen away as sleep descended over Robb's soldiers. There would be a battle in the morning, as there seemed to be a number of battles. The never ending fight against the Lannisters had stolen so much peace and happiness, not just from the Stark forces, but the world around them.

Villages had been ravaged, men and women, innocent bystanders, were killed for not openly supporting one side or the other. It was disheartening to see and, Jeyne suspected, that it hit Robb harder than the rest.

Why else would he be sitting alone by the fire as the moon crept further across the sky?

She had attempted to sleep, but his missing presence by her side had pulled her from bed, searching for the man who had only recently become her husband. She wrapped a blanket around herself, seeking a bit of warmth against the night's chill. Gently, she placed her hand on his shoulder, offering him whatever comfort she could.

"Can you not sleep?"

"No." He placed a warm hand upon hers as she joined by his side. "I tried, but I can't."

Dark circles were beginning to form under his eyes, becoming darker by the day. It is only after making love to her does he finally relax enough to fall asleep, only focusing on her next to him where he can be at ease and drift off. But it didn't take but 1 dream or a voice passing by his tent to startle him awake. Then the invading thoughts, anxieties, and guilt creep back in and prevent him from sleeping.

"I'm sorry if I woke you."

She watched the fire as it fluttered against the dark of the night. The sounds of nature were heavy around them, but not near as oppressive as Robb's thoughts seemed to be. She felt that familiar worry creep over her, the concern that she had tried to keep under control, abated by the patience his mother advised. It was hard to do so when she could see the strain and exhaustion in his eyes.

"You didn't," she murmured, taking the seat beside him. "What troubles you?"

Her gaze stayed on him, gentle and supportive, giving him all of the warmth that seemed to be missing from the night air. Too much had been placed on him. He was so young, yet he was a king and leader of an army. She couldn't begin to imagine what must be going through his head. Yet she wanted to try.

And that is precisely why he loved her. She had sacrificed herself for the well-being of others. Jeyne had been completely selfless the entire time he's known her and he wished to be the same. Unfortunately, he had to constantly think what would better his men and House Stark. The banners flapping in the wind reminded him of this every single moment.

"What doesn't?" He half chuckles, believing it to be completely accurate. He mourned for his siblings, of Winterfell, of a life he wished that was far from this. It wasn't possible. The pressure to win and be a leader was almost overwhelming. He had wished he spent more time with father. There were so many questions he had for him now that was never brought up before.

She rested her head against his shoulder, allowing the silence to settle between them. There was a chill on the wind, something that she was not used to in the Westerlands, but that must have seemed minor to Robb. He was used to far different climates than this. Gently, she wrapped her blanket around him as well, letting them both give the other heat.

He kept his secrets so close and quiet. She worried over the depths of his sorrows and her inability to reach him, even after they had wed. There were some things he did not share with her, this burden among them.

"Is it the past that holds your thoughts?" She asked gently, hoping to understand. "Let me help, Robb."

"The past, the future, the present. All of which hold my thoughts." He admitted quietly, placing an arm around her and holding her close. "I don't want to burden you with my concerns. I want you to thrive not only as my wife but also as a healer."

She had kept such close watch over him when he was injured that he had hoped she would pursue this skill set and develop it. Not only to keep her busy but also to prevent boredom. She didn't sit on his council and although he's pleased that she and mother have gotten along, he could imagine it to be boring otherwise. "You've helped me plenty."

She curled against him, warm and comforted by the touch of him. Even as they both worried for the future, she could find some measure of happiness in this place and the world they had created for each other. No matter how small it was, it was precious to her.

"You have a great deal of faith in me." She admitted, still uncertain at her abilities. She knew herbs and how to give basic care, but there was a great deal left for her to learn. "At least you are the living proof that I am not hopeless." She smiled, gently touching the place where the arrow had hit him before.

"No matter what I may do, my concern for you will always be paramount."

"I will always have a great deal of faith in you; you're my wife." He had gone against promised words for her and broke his resolve to remain chaste. But it wasn't all for naught, he couldn't imagine holding someone else in his arms other than Jeyne, or share any of their private moments and conversations with someone else. She understood him, valued and respected him, and most importantly, forgave him for taking control of the Crag.

He places a kiss to her temple, "Don't worry yourself over my benefit. Until this war is over, I don't think I'll ever completely find solace."

She smiled shyly, still uncertain and hesitant at the joy she felt whenever he called her "wife." Was it fair to be so happy and to enjoy the term so much when it brought so many others unhappiness and fear? He lost men because of her and the war seemed to be slipping out of his favor. Yet moments like this, she could almost believe it was all worth it and the guilt could slip away, even it was brief.

"I am, which is why I will always worry for you. You are everything to me. Seeing you unhappy pains me. All I wish is to give you a little bit of happiness. It may not ease your mind, but it would help you smile and sleep."

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ignite the light and let it shine

Robb Stark | GoT/ASOIAF

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