in season what's in season

[appliances]

THE AWKWARD/JUST SHITTY GIFTS MEME PRESENTS! Maybe it's the holidays. Maybe it's someone's birthday. Maybe it's your anniversary. Maybe one of you just felt the need to get that certain someone a gift, to show how much you care. And how bad you are at gift-buying. There's the rub -- this gift? It's... not what they wanted. It's not something they ever considered wanting, and now it's in front of them and, wow, why don't they look like as excited as you expected? ROLL YO NUMBER (1 through 8) The thread starter isn't necessarily the person receiving the gift. Do whatever you want. 1. UGLY SWEATER You know. 2. I DIDN'T GET YOU ANYTHING Totally slipped my mind! Sorry?? 3. IT'S INTERESTING BUT... It's something like getting a tube of toothpaste in your stocking at Christmas. How do you even react to something so out of left field? 4. I MADE THIS FOR YOU It's hand made. The sentiment is really sweet, but -- what is this supposed to be? 5. THAT'S NOT WHAT I ORDERED Online shopping isn't always reliable. What they just opened isn't what you thought you were buying! Maybe you should have checked the box first. 6. OBLIGATORY AWKWARD SEXUAL OPTION Condoms or something, go wild. 7. SOCKS Well, you wear socks, so getting more makes sense, right? 8. ETC Something else???? Go for it.

Comments

Davesprite | Homestuck

[crowsicle]

7

[dupable]

[ It's a sock... a single sock for Davesprite's little ghosty tail. It's this horrible mix of blue, green and Rose's weird purpley pink color.

He didn't even bother to wrap it, he's just holding it out to Davesprite. How... thoughtful? ]

[crowsicle]

...

Seriously, dude?

[dupable]

What?

[crowsicle]

What, did you make it yourself or are immigrants responsible?

[He picks up the sock, considers it at arm's length, and then attempts to pull it down over John's head.]

suddenly also 4

[dupable]

[ Batting away Davesprite's arm and the sock as he replies. ]

I made it! What's wrong with it? I used all the stuff I found when we ended up poking around Rose's room that one time to make it. And I followed all her how-to books.

[crowsicle]

Did you follow the one that said it's culturally insensitive to give socks to a dude who lost his legs in the trenches? I should sue your ass for psychological damages.

[He stops trying to squeeze John's enormous doofus melon head in there and examines it again.]

You borrow Rose's needles for this?

[dupable]

That doesn't count when you chose to give up your own legs. Besides, I only made one so you could use it on your tail thing.

[ Oh uh... ]

Yeah?

[crowsicle]

[He sticks his hand inside, looks for holes.]

I'm surprised they didn't spontaneously combust in your face for being so grossly mishandled.

[Well. It's soft.]

[dupable]

It was just her normal needles! I didn't use the magic ones, that would have been so stupid.

[cancercarcino]

[Would you like to roll or shall I?]

1 HAH

[crowsicle]

[Sup Karkat. You get a wool sweater patterned with this thrown at your face on this fine gift-giving holiday.]

omg perfect

[cancercarcino]

[Whump!! Karkat gets a face full of itchy sweater. He growls and pulls it off his face, glaring down at the offending multi-coloured garment.]

What in the ever-loving fuck is this?

[crowsicle]

Happy Troll Hannukah. Figured you could use a new sweater to wear to the laundromat, since you've been wearing yours for like a goddamn millennium or something.

[cancercarcino]

Fuck you, I'm not wearing this piece of shit.

[crowsicle]

You sure, man?

[He twitches his fingers at Karkat to give it back.]

Guess I'll give it to Dave, then, he wanted to see how much drool Terezi'd slobber all over him with it on.

[cancercarcino]

What? You're out of your goddamn think-pan if you think Terezi would droll over this pile of behemoth leavings.

[Though... he does dig his claws into the sweater, not ready to relinquish it just yet.]

[crowsicle]

Dude, look at it. You couldn't slap more colors onto that thing with a dye factory and a super-soaker. You'd basically have to taze TZ to pry her teeth out of it.

[cancercarcino]

Says the feathery creamsicle asshole. I'm surprised Terezi hasn't tried to lick you to death yet.

…6 this is going to be awful I'm so sorry

[fireflyheir]

[inside this box, there is an egg-shaped vibrator.

…the box is done up very nicely, at least. Davesprite can probably keep things in it after if he wants!

John is basically in this for Davesprite's face when he opens it. he might be curious as to whether it would get any use but. he's not entirely sure he does want to know.]

skdlfjaks

[crowsicle]

....

John.

[crowsicle]

John. What. Where did you even get this?

[Because while Davesprite knows what it is, he can't believe that John does. John, WTF. JOHN.]

[fireflyheir]

[…well he guesses that counts as a partial success! Maybe.]

Uh, well! I… that's pretty much the most awkward delivery that's ever come to our house. [in other words, off the net. With all the attendant panicking about someone else getting to the mailbox before him.]

[crowsicle]

[John, how would he even use this okay no never mind LA LA LA NOT THINKING ABOUT IT.]

You know that shit stays on your credit card history or whatever for like a month, right?

[Takes...the egg...out of the box. Just to look at it, obviously.]

[fireflyheir]

[he figured that was for you to figure out okay!]

…oh man. I wasn't exactly planning on waving my history around, though!

[He's trying not to make it too obvious that he's watching Davesprite look at the thing, but… he's still not that great at subtlety.]