the realistic college au

[forfun]

the realistic college au meme

comment with your character's name and canon in the subject header. use rng or pick one of the options below for your au scenario. I. living conditions 01. my roommate’s boyfriend is staying over so can I please sleep on your floor 02. all our friends are drunk 03. we live in halls opposite one another and i keep seeing you change in the window please close your blinds 04. you’re the RA and you’re trying to bust me for having hermit crabs 05. you’re baking cookies in the communal kitchen at 3am and I’m angry but also really hungry 06. clearly we’re both really uncomfortable at this party 07. you peed on my car. you were drunk. I was in the car. there will be hell to pay. 08. my friend dragged me to this party and I just saw my ex quick make out with me 09. sorry my roommate puked on your shoes 10. my roommate borrowed your contraband hotpot and managed to set it on fire II. chance meeting 01. it’s pouring and my final paper is in my backpack so I guess we’re stuck under this tiny awning together. do you think they’d deliver pizza here 02. waiting outside for pizza to be delivered but both of ours is super late 03. I know I keep coming to this [cookie/coffee/etc.] shop and for some reason it’s always your shift but don’t you dare judge me I need this for my sanity 04. I found your USB drive still in the computer (and potentially regret finding out what's on it) 05. you decked me in the head while you were playing frisbee golf 06. your school mailbox is right next to mine 07. what do you mean we’re under a tornado warning? III. campus community 01. I’m really passionate about this cause and I will give you this flier if I have to shove it down your throat 02. it’s 3 am and I’m still in the library studying for finals and I’m losing my grip on reality and I think I just saw a ghost 03. we’re the only two people in this club. what is this club even for 04. humans vs zombies, all bets are off, friendships mean nothing 05. I thought I was the only one who liked the waffle station in the cafeteria 06. we’re studying in the library and there are two people very obviously fucking in the stacks and we keep sharing embarrassed glances 07. what are you doing at this table at the career fair 08. I saw you sneaking captain crunch and cutlery out of the dining hall 09. my computer crashed and you’re the student worker at the IT center 10. we’re both on athletic teams that aren’t as cool as the football team and they give us shit 11. you’re part of the guerrilla theater club on campus and crashed my class for a performance IV. credit hour woes 01. hey I have to [photograph/draw blood/film/insert major here] someone for class, will you be my guinea pig 02. we’re the only people who ever talk in discussions it’s awful 03. group project 04. both of us turned up to the wrong room for this lecture and neither of us know where it's supposed to be 05. we’re both donating blood in the blood donation van in the quad to get out of the same class 06. wait, I actually have a competent lab partner? 07. waiting for office hours 08. we started racing up the three flights of stairs to class for some reason and we can’t stop 09. vicious battle over the only left handed desk in the room V. limited resources 01. you keep using my preferred shower stall in the floor bathrooms when I’m trying to get ready for class 02. you keep parking in the space outside my student house you absolute asshole 03. you're the only person in the room when i break the printer and i'm panicking (so don't be a dick about it please) 04. neither of us bought the expensive textbook but there is only one copy in the library and it can’t leave the building 05. this awesome professor only has one TA slot and we’re rivals 06. you keep reserving the good study room in the corner of the library with the windows 07. I’ve been sitting in this seat all semester why did you decide to sit in it today 08. you’re REALLY GOOD at using the right search terms for the academic databases and I’m on a deadline 09. we’re always at the fitness center at the same time and end up competing on the treadmill 10. can I borrow a dryer sheet? I ran out and the ones in the vending machine give me a rash

scenarios taken from this post on tumblr. originally posted here.

Comments

1-3 seemed appropriate

[serialized]

[ One of the reasons Nate opted for alternate housing was to avoid situations like these. To avoid more people in general, really. He's pretty sure dorms would still be worse, but if these were dorms, he'd probably be able to e-mail this guy's RA or slip a note under his door in comfortable anonymity. In the context of a bunch of identical side-by-side row houses, though, it will be completely obvious that "dude I can see you naked" is a perspective that comes from his window, the window directly opposite the house next door's.

Just say something to him if it bothers you so much, Jamie tells him, exasperated with hearing about it. Nate considers this and elects to not do that. This has gone on long enough that he's not sure he can look the guy in the eye. So he just renames the house wifi PLEASE CLOSE YOUR BLINDS NAKED GUY and does his best to avoid looking out of the window. And to avoid him.

Which works, more or less, until the night he comes back late and moderately drunk, enough to have forgotten about the entire situation. He's not supposed to smoke in the house, but fuck it, he'll just open the window and do it there. ]

[broil]

[Hello, Nate. Naked guy looks like he was waiting for you.

Which he wasn't, truth be told, he just happened to be hanging around the window (like he always does) when he notices that the half-drunk young man has made an appearance of his own. And to break the house rules, too! Shocking. Petre moves toward the window to open it up, placing both hands down to get his attention using his voice alone. Because clearly nothing else will, right.]

Hey. Hey! Got a spare?

[serialized]

[ He genuinely doesn't notice until Petre speaks up, as he's busy wondering why he hasn't done this before. So convenient! And then he's abruptly reminded why he hasn't, which results in him dropping his entire pack out the window. ]

Jesus fucking — not anymore.

[ It turns out Nate can look him in the eye, if sufficiently annoyed. ]

Would it kill you to put some clothes on ever?

[ But irritation isn't strong enough to last even the duration of his question, which ends plaintively, and with his eyes averted. His excuse is that he's trying to see where his cigarettes fell. ]

[broil]

Yes, actually!

[he's peering over to see where they fell, but he's happy to continue the conversation brightly as ever.]

I have this fatal allergy to clothes, it'll kill me if I put any on.

[serialized]

You should get that checked out. Since you now owe me a pack and I don't think they'll sell you any bareass naked.

[ So that was not particularly cutting. Like, the idea is there but the execution was wobbly, both stylistically and literally: a combination of avoiding looking at Petre and leaning a bit too far through the window puts his balance off so he has to grab the sill. ]

[broil]

[whoaaa there, son.]

But we'd definitely make it to the news if I saved your ass naked.

[juuust sayin'.]

So how can I make it up for you?

[serialized]

[ Nate steadies himself against the side of the window, looking both embarrassed and offended that Petre said anything. ]

I don't know, shut your blinds? It's really distracting when I'm trying to study, you know? Peripheral vision naked dude is startling.

[ He's looking now, though. Making an effort to be not quite as casual as Petre is about this, but as if he's at least not 100% repressed and neurotic, which is easier to do when he's drunk. ]

[broil]

[he clicks his tongue.]

No can do, buddy. Have you looked at how pale I am? I need the sunlight, man.

How about a towel. Can you live with a towel?

[serialized]

[ He'd protest the first, ridiculous point — the market is hardly cornered when it comes to pasty whiteness — but the absurdity of negotiation neatly derails him. ]

That's ... I ... guess?

[ And without meaning to, his gaze drops for a second before he lifts one hand to scrub at the side of his face. It's the twenty first century and porn is free, he doesn't have to ogle his exhibitionist, contrary neighbor. ]

[broil]

A towel then! Don't go anywhere.

[he's actually pointing at Nate like that'll hold him to anything. And for about ten seconds he's away from the window, then back in with the promised towel. It's pink.]

Heeey. [oh god Petre what are you.] How do I look?

[serialized]

[ Wait, what? Is any of this actually happening? But if it isn't, where'd his cigarettes go? Nate spends those ten seconds trying to reason that out, and then is confronted with reality, which turns out to be pink terrycloth. ]

... great. Super. [ His smile is about 40% grimace and the expression doesn't change as he slowly pulls back from the window and slowly reaches up in preparation to shut it. ] Thanks I owe you one see you never.

[broil]

What? We're just getting to become good friends and you're going away?

[Come baaaaaack.]

I don't even know your name.

[serialized]

I'm going to fall out the window and you're... still disconcertingly close to naked. Make friends in the morning. Or maybe not, you're alarming. I'm Nate. Good night.

[ Seriously, window getting shut now, and unlike Petre, Nate uses his blinds. So it turns out Jamie was right after all. Just say something! That wasn't so bad. He's close to self-congratulatory as he flops down on his bed.

Things might be different in the morning or if he runs into Petre again. But he isn't thinking about that. ]

[broil]

[AFTER ALL I'VE DONE FOR YOU. psh. The towel isn't going to last anyway.]

[serialized]

[ THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T THREATEN HIM nudity-based threats don't count ]

[broil]

[What if he shows up on Nates doorstep wearing clothes and holding a brand new cigarette pack.

He's doing that now. Knock knock!]

[serialized]

[ Nate opens the door, though admittedly, with the same kind of wary look people reserve for door-to-door salesmen and religious proselytizers. ]

Heyyy. Clothed guy.

[broil]

Nate! Good news, I'm cured.

[shows pack. rattles it a bit.]

And I got you cigarettes.

[serialized]

[ With his eyes on the pack the entire time: ] Hey, congratulations, it's a good look on you. Clothes. In general.

[ He's not actually drunk again, just. Nate. And reaches for the pack because he's capable of being rude when there are important things like cigarettes at stake. ]

[broil]

[senpai noticed me]

What. Not even going to invite me in? After all the work I went through for you. Just to see you smile.

[serialized]

[ Senpai is thinking about shutting the door in his face. Who says these things. What is Petre. ]

Wow. Thanks for thinking of me. I'm almost there.

[ Current expression is lineface. But he opens the door wider to let Petre in. ]

[broil]

[so grouchy. Does Petre have you buy you a trash can to live in? Careful, you'll turn into a fuzzy green monster.]

When I work for a smile, I work real hard.

[and step in he does, hands in his pockets. You won't mind if he snoops around to check out what the furniture and decoration's like.]

[serialized]

[ Badly furnished. Badly decorated. It's a house in which three college age guys are existing, but one of them cleans. Petre can probably guess who, since even now Nate is looking at the kitchen table like it personally offends him. ]

That's. Good to know. You, uh. Want something to drink.

[ Yeah, Nate doesn't know what to do with unfamiliar company. ]

[broil]

[As you should, Nate. As you should.]

Depends. Do you have something more interesting than tap water?

[He's looking at this apartment and guessing no.]

[serialized]

... I guess, since you made — effort.

[ Non-specific, singular effort. ]

I'll share.

[ There's one drinkable bottle of liquor in the house and he's hidden it, like the elderly alcoholic he already resembles, under a floorboard in the living room. Enjoy the spectacle of him retrieving it. ]