bakerstreet | The Romantic But Nonsexual Intimacy Meme

The Romantic But Nonsexual Intimacy Meme

The Romantic But Nonsexual Intimacy Meme

Intimacy is NOT necessarily about full sexual contact. Intimacy is all about two people forming a connection and bond between them. That involves becoming best friends, trusting each other, knowing each other, understanding each other. Intimacy is grown and developed, it can't be rushed.

Nonsexual forms of intimacy can add a great deal of depth and variety to fiction. On one end of the spectrum, they provide extra steps to support the journey from meeting a potential mate through romance, sex, and marriage. In the middle, they convey the import of family and professional connections, distinguishing those from more casual acquaintances. On the other end, they form much of the glue in primary relationships for people who don't base their ties on sexuality. Sex is valuable, but it's not everything.

RULES

Comment with your character. Be sure to include preferences.
Tag others!

PROMPTS

Hair care. Brushing, braiding, washing, cutting -- all of these involve a lot of careful touching in ways that many people enjoy. Hair braiding is a bonding experience in some cultures. In fact, grooming is a bonding technique for social primates in general. People without close ties to others often treat themselves to regular salon visits as a socially acceptable way to meet the need for touch and interaction.
Shaving. This involves an unusually high level of trust, especially if the person is using a straight-edge razor or something else with an exposed blade rather than just a buzzer. Although it can apply to women, shaving is one of the few forms of physical intimacy that is most closely associated with men due to their facial hair. Initiaton into shaving is a major milestone for becoming a man, not just for boys during puberty but also for transsexuals during transition.
Bathing. This varies by culture; in America most people bathe alone but some other cultures practice communal bathing. A bath is usually more intimate than a shower, although a public bath can be non-intimate and small shower stall can be intimate. It's also different when two people wash each other (an exchange of intimacy and affection) than when one person washes someone else (more of a caretaking or protective gesture).
Feeding. A classic romantic motif involves lovers feeding each other, but it works as a way of providing and caring for someone in any context. Like bathing, it can also clue whether both parties are participating equally or one is taking care of the other (temporarily or regularly). This one has an existential flavor since survival depends on food supply.
Seeing someone without their adaptive equipment on. This includes glasses, dentalware, prosthetic limbs, a wheelchair, etc. Adaptive equipment is part of one's presentation to the everyday world, and taking it off can be as intimate as removing clothing, for many people in many contexts.
Holding Hands: There can be many reasons for this gesture. Physical closeness, offering comfort, or staying together in a crowd, all may have you reaching for someone.
Undressing someone. This can be kind of a one-way experience if the recipient isn't awake, and is often awkward for both people if they are awake. Sometimes it happens because hands are out of commission, but a more common example is someone passing out drunk. Overheating is another good reason. Different circumstances can imply different levels of intimacy.
Sharing secrets. This especially applies to talking about personal issues that aren't widely known. An exchange of secrets is a common ritual between "best friends" among girls and women, but appears elsewhere as well. Some things are only discussed among people with a common reference; veterans may be more comfortable discussing war memories with each other than civilians.
Ordering for someone in a restaurant. Acquiring food, without asking the other person what to get, shows a knowledge of their needs and desires. Providing food is also a gesture of support and sustenance.
Providing moral support at a major event. Helping someone get through a funeral, a trial, or other intense but not crisis situation is usually performed by a very dear friend. This is a situation where lovers or family members may be too close to the matter to be much use.
Crying on someone. When you cry, you tend to let your guard down. Most of the people close to you will see you cry at some point, so that can be a milestone in a relationship. Actually crying on someone, letting them hold you, is even more intimate.
Serving in a primary role for someone during a wedding. This includes the best man or maid of honor at a wedding, or stand-in for absent parents, etc. as well as the traditional family roles. One aspect of intimacy is sharing each other's lives, including ceremonies and transitions.
Comforting someone after a bad breakup. Moments of great vulnerability can bring people closer. While this role sometimes falls to family, breakup repair more often goes to a woman's female friends or a man's male friends.
Listening to someone's heartbeat or breathing. Close body contact, enough to carry soft personal sounds, tends to be comforting as well as connecting, as it touches on positive childhood memories for most people. It is shared between parent and child, sometimes between siblings, and later between lovers. Tight nonsexual partners may also do this.
Putting someone to bed. Interestingly, this activity can happen among people who are just getting to know each other -- most often if someone passes out drunk, but exhaustion can have a similar effect. It's a gesture of caring to put someone to bed rather than leave them where they drop. A milder version involves draping a blanket or coat over a person asleep on a couch or the like.
Sleeping in the same bed. This is an act of shared vulnerability and intimacy. Lovers customarily do this; so do some siblings or friends, especially as children. People may also be driven to share a bed, sleeping bag, etc. for warmth or lack of other accommodations in challenging circumstances.
Watching someone sleep. There is more vulnerability on the part of the sleeper, and more intimacy from the watcher, when only one person is asleep. Parents often watch their children sleep. Lovers sometimes do this with each other, which can be cute or creepy. It's also a guard position, useful for showing that one character seeks to protect another.
Waking someone up from a nightmare. A subtler form of rescue than more physical actions, this is still a gesture of protection and caring. It often leads to comfort afterwards. A typical courtesy between parent and child, or lovers, this can also be an early threshold for characters thrust together unexpectedly if one of them has sturdy daytime walls and a lot of issues. It is common, but often unspoken, among war buddies or veterans, many of whom have nightmares.
Sharing clothes, jewelry, other personal items. This is common between siblings or close female friends. Sometimes roommates do it too. Wearing someone else's shirt or bathrobe is typical in romantic relationships, so can suggest a similar level of intimacy even in the absence of sex.
Cleaning someone else's living space. This shows care and knowledge on the part of the cleaner, and trust on the part of the recipient. You have to know what NOT to throw away or move. It's typical of family members and roommates. Coworkers may clean each other's desk, office space, etc.
Living together. This is a big step, even if it's just for a little while. Housemates are in each other's pockets; it's hard to keep secrets. Family members and lovers often live together, but housemates who are family-of-choice form a category of their own. If you don't want a romantic partner, a permanent housemate is a good choice for someone to share your life with.
Childbirth. Attending the blessed event entails providing a lot of moral support for hours under high stress. It can create a bond with the baby as well as with the mother. When planned, this opportunity is only offered to the closest family members or friends, barring professionals. But it can happen by surprise in very awkward circumstances, a popular motif in fiction.
Saving someone's life. Quick action in a life-threatening situation demonstrates how much one person values another. This can create a strong sense of connection, and sometimes obligation. It often, though not always, entails personal risk for the rescuer. This is fairly typical for military buddies or police partners, etc.
Risking your life for someone. Placing someone else ahead of your own life shows their importance to you unequivocally. This often, though not always, involves trying to save or protect another person. While it can create a sense of gratitude, it frequently causes anger as well -- someone who loves you will generally object to you endangering yourself, even to protect them. Military and police buddies protect each other regularly.
Making emergency decisions for someone. This reveals both how well you know the person, and how much you care about them -- whether you know what they would want, and act on it even if it differs from your personal preference. Unlike some of the other options, in this one the initial action is often outweighed by the aftermath. Both characters have to deal with the results of the decisions, good or bad.
Deathwatch. Dying can be as intimate as giving birth. Staying with someone while they pass is an act of love; so is providing moral support to someone sitting deathwatch for a family member or other person. Many soldiers and police have done this for someone.

(taken from here)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only | Expand All

[ Sometimes a deal goes south. And sometimes a deal goes so south you have to wonder which way is even up.

It was supposed to be a simple drop, nothing more, but the situation had gone from bad to worse to pretty much fucked in record time. Their cargo had been a lot more valuable than they had been led to believe, and the people who wanted it far more numerous and skilled than they realized. Maya was used to bandits coming out of nowhere to wreck your shit, but these guys were more like a militia.

Somewhere in the hail of weapon fire and destruction she'd lost track of Peter. That made her panic a little, but long years of training kept her focused. She had to stay alive and hope that he was doing the same. ]

[ At the moment, Peter is crouched behind cover, pinned down while he waits for his weapons to recharge. He's somewhere between pissed off and really fucking pissed off about being lied to about the nature of the drop, then about these mercenaries that were slowly chipping away at his cover, and, most of all, about losing Maya in all the mayhem.

Despite his common sense telling him that Maya could handle herself, that she could kick ass as well as anyone he knew, Peter was worried. These guys had caught them unawares and had forced them to split up -- and these guys were good. Like, Die Hard terrorists good. And as the fight went on and he still hadn't found his way to Maya's side, worry started to ramp up into panic.

A long time ago, Yondu had warned him about getting too involved with anyone. Screw who you want, when you want, boy, but don't get attached, he had said. Peter was young, probably just barely into his teens, and was convinced he had a chance with a waitress he had met on some backwater planet. It'll cloud your mind, mess with your judgment, get you killed.

Just one of the many lessons Peter had taken to heart, once, but ignored when he forged his own path.

As worried as he is about Maya, as pissed as he is about this whole situation, he's more pissed at himself for making the call to send just the two of them planet-side and not seeing this coming. His thoughts are a litany of goddammit, goddammit, GODDAMMIT, while he makes even more mistakes -- stupid, simple mistakes, like leaving cover just a tad too soon, or staying out in the open just a tad too long, or engaging in hand-to-hand fights that he doesn't need to, and the consequences have left him bleeding from mostly superficial cuts.

The second he hears the familiar whirr of his blasters coming back to life, Peter is up and running to more cover, shooting at enemies as he goes. ]

[ Maya is cutting quite the swath through the mercenaries, thanks in part to her phaselock abilities, and in part to her trusty Maliwan SMG. Peter's blasters were sure fancy, but she was not about to ditch her Pandoran arsenal.

But speaking of his blasters, the undeniable sound of the weapons draws her attention, causing her to sigh inwardly in relief. He was still alive. Still fighting. With the sound to guide her, she starts picking her way through the crowd, moving from cover to cover.

She spots him then, the tell-tale beam of his blasters, the glowing red of his mask- and someone very big coming up on his blind spot. Of course, of course they would have a fucking berserker- an answer to Drax, were he actually here. The guy is massive, and the weapon his his hands- a sword? A club? She can't tell- made out of solid energy and poised to strike. She panics earnestly then, because in all this chaos there's no way Peter can see him coming.

Then, suddenly, her panic turns to flame. ]

Peter!

[ She practically screams it, launching from her hiding place, tattoos glowing brightly. The monks often talked to her about her potential, about things she still had yet to discover about her powers, even after twenty-seven years, but what happens next surprises even her.

Her phaselock closes in around the mercenary in an explosion of flame, and in the same moment, wings made of flame and acid unfold from her back. Anyone close enough has the unfortunate experience of both armor and flesh being eaten away.

There's something like a stunned silence for half a second, then bullets start biting into her shield again and she runs full-tilt towards Peter, grabbing hiss sleeve and bodily hauling him behind the nearest cover. Not before her shield is gone, though, and a bullet buries itself in her gun arm, causing her beloved SMG to go clattering to the ground. ]

[ The moment he hears Maya's voice, relief floods his system; but quickly on the heels of that is fear when he realizes she had screamed. She's scared, she's hurt, his mind is racing, and he starts to turn to where he thinks he heard her--

And there she is, glowing (glowing? wings?). A wave of heat hits him from behind, and some strange instinct spins him back around to find the source. He doesn't know what he expected, but the burst of fire and a burnt out husk of a corpse definitely wasn't it. And despite himself, despite the chaos, he gapes.

As does everyone else, apparently, at least for a short time.

He realizes how close that mercenary had been to taking him out, how quick Maya had been to taking that guy out, and he curses himself for his inattention. He remembers Yondu constantly screaming at him, Always check your damn blind spots, boy. You're gonna get us killed if we gotta keep your ass from gettin' dead. Then Maya's yanking him down to safety, and bullets and energy blasts are peppering the ground around them and the cover they've ducked behind. He doesn't miss the way her arm is suddenly bleeding, nor does he miss when her weapon falls away from them. ]

Maya-- shit--

[ He has time enough to fire at a mercenary getting too close, and the mercenary goes down screaming and twitching.

Peter presses the switch behind his ear to remove his mask; the metal scatters away from his face, leaving a glittering blue light in its wake before that, too, disappears. Alarm is written across every inch of his expression, and his hands are shaking when he holsters one of his blasters, when he reaches for her arm. His words are sharp and clipped. ]

Let me see. How bad is it?

It's fine. [ it's not really- it hurts like hell- and her words come out through clenched teeth. Still, she's trying her best to stay calm in the face of his worry.

Her hand comes up to cover his, trying to still his shaking fingers. ] We need to get out of here.

[ Thank goodness one of them is thinking logically. ]

Right. [ His voice is a little strained, and he's nodding a little too much. ] Right, okay.

[ Peter takes a deep breath, then another, and shuts his eyes, ignoring the plinking and buzzing of bullets and blasts. When he opens his eyes again, most of the fear is gone, replaced with steely resolve and something like anger. He squeezes her hand before taking up his blaster again. ]

I'll take care of this. Sit tight.

[ He stands, and his mask is back over his face. Then he's moving and firing with the vicious precision he had sorely needed moments ago, forging them a path. ]

[ She watches him go, something like a smile tugging at her lips for a brief second. But when it becomes apparent what he's doing, she's on the move again, following the path he's made.

Not before grabbing her gun, though, and storing it back in her pack via the digistruct device on her hip.

The Siren may be down, but she's not out. She still has her phaselock, and with her new ability to make people explode into flames at the same time, she falls back to being support, thinning the crowd if things look a little too overwhelming. ]

[ The first time she phaselocks someone, Peter frowns, and "I thought I said sit tight?" is on the tip of his tongue before he bites it back. He does need the help, and he forces himself to be logical about this.

It's for the best that she's supporting him, he realizes. They were doing alright on their own when they were separated. As a team, though, they're cutting through the mercenaries with relative ease, and some of their enemies were even falling back and retreating. ]

Almost clear. You okay? [ He's still firing as he speaks, staying vigilant. ]

Still upright.

[ She tries to keep her tone light, but she's never been the best at jokes. Somewhere along the way, she fished a pistol out of her pack, and is holding it loosely in her hand. Another little Maliwan- she's not sure she could handle the kick of a Jakobs- just in case. ]

[ He tries to match her tone, but is only mildly successful. ] Cool. Probably a good idea to stay that way.

[ From their left, a mercenary wielding two large knives leaps at them; Peter pulls Maya behind him and blocks the blow with one of his blasters, using the other to shoot a hole in the man's chest. Peter kicks the body away and keeps them moving, nearly in the clear. ]

I'll cover you when you go.

Right. [ she doesn't want to leave his side, but they're so close. She puts a tattooed hand on his arm, giving it a little squeeze. ] Be careful.

[ Then she's off, dashing towards freedom ~~and presumably a shuttle or something? However the got onto the planet idefk~~. Her shield has long since recharged, so if a stray shot or two hits her, she'll be fine.

Once she makes it, she turns and motions for Peter to follow, forcing herself to tighten her grip on her little pistol, tattoos glowing and ready to cover him in return. ]

[ ~~Yeah shuttles seem logical np.~~ Once Maya's clear, he backs up to the shuttle, firing as he goes. He doesn't have the luxury of shields, but he's careful and makes his shots count. Shoot the assholes before they shoot you is an easy enough life lesson to apply, after all.

He slams the door shut behind them -- the shuttle is a tough little thing with two seats, and it can take a bit of damage -- and he slides into the pilot's seat, desperate to put some distance between them and the people trying to shoot them full of holes. The shuttle roars to life and lifts off.

Peter is just about to set them jetting off when he turns to Maya and says with levity he doesn't quite feel, ]

Buckled-up, sweetie?

[ She tries to glare at him as she plops down in the other seat, but there's no heat behind it. She's distracted, free hand clasped over her bloodied shoulder ]

Just shut up and drive, dear.

[ there's supposed to be sarcasm there, but it comes out more like a pained wince. ]

As you wish.

[ And so they zoom off. They can't break atmo in the shuttle; they'll have to wait until the others arrive with the Milano for that, and the crew is busy with another job in the sector (and Peter is kicking himself again for his lack of foresight).

He lands in a new area, quite a distance away -- probably farther than necessary -- and powers down the shuttle. The mask is off again, and he's up in an instant, hurrying to grab the medkit they keep on board. When he calls back, it's clear he's abandoned the whole "try to keep it light" routine. ]

Did the bullet go through?

Dunno.

[ hard to tell, considering the sleeve of her combat suit is soaked in blood, and everything just kind of hurts no matter what.

The suit is all one piece though, and she knows he needs to see what he's doing, so with her good hand, she motions to the back of her neck ] Zipper's right there, if you need it.

[ If these were normal circumstances, Peter would flash her a smirk and have some sly comment about undressing her and making it to second base so soon in their relationship.

If these were normal circumstances.

As it is, he's working on a sort of professional detachment and unzips the suit. At least his hands aren't shaking this time (well, not a lot), and he's as gentle as he can be while he helps her pull off the sleeve. Still, he can't help but murmur an apology every time it makes her wince. ]

Still with me?

[ other than the occasional wince, she's a perfectly good patient. Her free hand, bloodied as it may be, comes to rest on his arm ]

Hey. This is far from my first bullet wound. I'll be okay.

I know, it's just--

[ you scared me ]

-- nerves. Takes a while for the adrenaline to wind down, you know? Hard to think straight right after Yippie-Ki-Yay mode.

[ His brow is slightly furrowed, and his mouth is set in a grim line. Peter, luckily, knows the basics as far as dressing wounds goes, and he gets out the materials he'll need. He's uncharacteristically quiet as he cleans the blood from her wound, and it's definitely noticeable that he's making a point to keep his gaze on his work. ]

[ she watches him work, a slight frown on her face. She doesn't like seeing him this way, but she knows full well why he is.

She vaguely wonders how Axton ever did it, his wife was a fellow soldier, and his commanding officer to boot. Surely there were times where they worried about each other more than the battle at hand. ]

If I would have known you'd be seeing me in my bra today, I'd have worn something a little more lacy. [ she gives him a little grin, hoping to lighten the mood just a little ]

[ That startles a laugh out of him before he can think to bite it back, and he ventures a quick glance at her. Finally he lets himself relax a little. ]

Lucky for you I'm a simple guy. Getting to see beautiful lady like yourself in her unmentionables is a reward unto itself.

[ Her cheeks color a little at the compliment, but she's glad she got some of the tension out of him. ]

... I'm glad you're okay, Peter.

[ He pauses very briefly in his work. ]

Well, I've got you to thank for that, swooping in like Han Solo and saving the day.

Ha. Honestly I have no idea where that came from, but I'm glad it worked.

I was gonna ask if that was new. Never seen you do something like that before -- I was wondering if you were holdin' out on me all this time.

Peter Quill | Guardians of the Galaxy

23/24-ish I'm just basically never gonna leave you alone

don't you dare stop

playing fast and loose with Borderlands mechanics awyeah

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject