why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?

[ineffabilities]

texts from last night

You know the drill.

Comments

linear timelines are for the weak

[sportsbra]

im a better werewolf than taylor lautner.

absolutely correct

[cadmean]

ok but

you can do better than kristen stewart

please, one of you has to have some taste and we already know it's not Derek

[sportsbra]

what qualifies as good taste to you?

[cadmean]

just someone with a bit more character!

but if she's who you want I support you fully with a minimum of judgment bc I'm a good uncle.

[sportsbra]

i dont want kristen stewart. thanks for the vote of confidence, though. i'll let derek know youre playing favorites.

[cadmean]

yeah I'm sure that'll break his heart.

drink slower on the next movie night though.

[sportsbra]

i wasn't drunk. just opinionated.

[cadmean]

I'm retracting my "minimum of judgment"

[sportsbra]

what happened to favorites

[cadmean]

it's in danger according to the point system, or as I call it, the disap-point system

[sportsbra]

clever. not that it's like you have so many nieces and nephews to chose between though.

[cadmean]

true. and even fewer who ever bring me delicious burritos of their own accord.

or let me take them shopping to correct the gigantic activewear imbalance in their wardrobe.

[sportsbra]

my wardrobe is perfectly balanced. i dont know what your have against nike.

[cadmean]

oh nothing, they're just not my FAVORITE

[sportsbra]

i dont care. they're comfortable.

and im not bringing you burritos. where did that even come from

[cadmean]

it came from me being hungry and wanting a burrito

ok but

nike is good to wear if you want to kick tyler lautner's ass, but what would you wear if you wanted to date him instead

[sportsbra]

i dont want to date him.

[ oh. oh. she gets it now (kind of, sort of; it's hard to completely get anything with her uncle as her conversational partner.) ]

or anyone for that fact. why do you care?

[cadmean]

you and Derek. two boringly dressed peas in a pod.

[ Cora will just have to picture him shaking his head sadly unless Samsung or Apple or whatever wants to pay RPers to product place their snazzy phones with video functions, in which case, we will all be rich and Cora will also get to see him doing it. ]

[sportsbra]

[ google glasses. shoot high for the product placement! ]

derek dates. we've seen how that ends.

[cadmean]

[ Next season on Teen Wolf: Scott upgrades to a Ducati, we get a shot of Derek's open fridge but it only contains Cristal and a bottle of mustard, and Peter is killed in a freak yacht accident. ]

in his case kristen stewart would be a step up.

LAUTNER would be a step up.

[sportsbra]

[ Isaac completes the hipster look with outfitted DKNY glasses, and Lydia starts shopping at Guess because Macy's was so last season... ]

i doubt he's interested. kind of like how I'M not interested.

[cadmean]

well one day you'll meet someone and you will be and i'll laugh at you because you only have sports bras

[sportsbra]

he'll have to like sports bras. i'm not going shopping for some metaphorical boyfriend i havent even met yet

[cadmean]

obviously he would. the point is not that he'd want you to wear something different. it's that YOU'D want to wear something different ...

but until then, your only recourse is burritos, js.

[sportsbra]

we'll see about that. i'm pretty sure it'd only be a successful relationship if i wanted to wear nothing.

i'm not bringing you a burrito.