bakerstreet | Hi, my name is

I'll give you a hint: it's not birdie.

...it's not Ojou-sama, princess, or Missy.

Hmm. Nevermore? That one's a classic.

Oh, yeah. Great movie. Seems kinda pretentious as names go, though.

[Cocks his head, eyeing the demon-ish... face? Mask? Both?]

Uh. Do I have a snowball's chance of getting yours right? Or are we talking something like 'the sound of a million flies buzzing'.

[ Feel free to guess her pre-Clergy name! ]

Movie? I was thinking of the novel, actually. What is the movie about?

[Just a mask, although the man is weird if one has the senses for it -- he doesn't have as much a demonic presence as that he doesn't have any other presence at all. And yet, there is something about him that makes it just feel perfectly normal that he is here like this.]

I'd say you have a better chance at it than me. But I can give you two a hint for every wrong guess to make things more fair. ...That, and you only have to guess what I am, rather than an individual name. In exchange you can give me hints of your own as well.

Does that sound better?

Right, the original. Lucienne keeps threatening to read that to me. The movie's more of a, uh, late night experience. Bunch of wizards making bad decisions. Peter Lorre's having a great time, you can tell.

A challenge, huh? [tolerantly] Eh, sure. Why not.

[...Except this raven is enough accustomed to entities who use games strategically to warrant some caution around hidden clauses.]

All in fun, right? No playing for keeps?

Goodness, no, what are you thinking? Of course it's just an ordinary game, nothing more, especially not some silly punishment games! I've had enough of that one for a centuries or two. I also happen to already have a huge crow making himself the pet I never wanted, and that one's already one too many.

[The best protection is probably the principal's desire to be seen as somebody who is both formidable and respectable. Behaving in a way that would undermine the worth of his word is out of the question ~~unless the roof's on fire again.~~]

You wouldn't happen to be a Crawford?

That's a real specific denial, pal.

[But it counts, so, cool. He's settling in.]

Heh. No, but you should try that one out on your crow.

Okay. Two guesses. Guess that makes it two hints. Uh. Whassit, five, six- Seven letters, and... Well. Speaking of movies, you ever see A Time to Kill? 'This is a story about a little girl walking home...'

[The Matthew McConaughey imitation is... passable.]

As for me, I figure I should get the trick question out of the way. You're not human, are you?

It's based on a real specific situation.

[One said "his crow" had caused to 99%, come to think of it.]

Seven letters, huh? I guess that rules "Karasuma" out. [He shakes his head. Matthew's acting is sadly lost on him.] I fear I haven't seen that one yet, either. All I can say if that its title reminds me of "All You Need Is Kill," which was a great novel.

[Matthew's question earns him a soft chuckle as Douman moves his mask enough that part of his mouth and chin can be seen.]

Obviously not. And I'm also no god. My turn again: are you a human spirit?

[Well that's an existentially complicated question.]

I'm a raven. [Would be the cheat's answer.] But... yeah, I did the human thing for a while. Most of my life. Or, well. All of it, really.

Anyway. I kept the name, afterwards. And, okay, so you're more of a reader - how about the Bible? Think of something from, uh, that list.

[Meanwhile, Matthew might be getting into this puzzle a little more than he'd intended. Definitely not one of the family. Faeries love games, but his ears don't seem pointy enough for that. Angels have a pretty noticeable vibe; the same tends to go for demons. The mask is distinctive... and the guy says he's not a god, but if it reminds Matthew of anyone, it's Susanoo.]

Jeez. Starting to think I should've paid more attention the last time we had guests. Do Japanese gods get, uh, attendants or anything?

Yes. So? [Ahhh. With the explanation it starts to make more sense. Although he is still tempted to roll his eyes and ask why he couldn't just say "transformed human soul kind of spook" or something like that from the get-go. But that's no way to talk for a respected principal, and Nurarihyon is nothing if not dedicated to his act. (Losing his temper and just exorcising anything supernatural that had looked at him wrong had definitely been one of the nice parts of his human life.)

Anyway, something biblical?]

Uh. That's too newfangled for me. The only real name from the bible that I cared to remember was the one they kept preaching about, what was it again ....-Jesus? That's not enough letters again, though. Is it Goliath? Or the name of one of those angels? [If it's one of those, then he might as well just give up since all he really knows about them is that they're the guys with the halos that look like washed-out tengu. That, and that there's a shit lot of them.]

They sure do, but like hell I'm one of those. You're on a good direction by paying attention to my mask, though - you could say that it's more important to what I am than the face I'm hiding behind it. [Nurarihyon was known as 'the Old-Man' youkai, after all.]

Good direction? Pretty sure you're halfway to Timbuktu and I'm going in circles. Maybe we should have figured out how deep the cultural divide went first.

[He clearly finds this mutual failure more funny than frustrating, though, if still a little of the latter. 'Goliath'. Hilarious.]

Okay, okay. Let's try this instead. Two syllables. First one's something you wipe your feet on, second - hell, I don't know, rhymes with a sneeze. You know, achoo.

[Pft] ...Never thought I'd be trying to play charades with no hands.

[Alright, it's time to 'fess up to his general ignorance. Give him 50 years in the Dreaming instead of less than 5, and maybe he'll be across all the options better.]

And yeah, you're going to have to help me out. Demon, ghost, boogeyman? The moral at the end of a story? Am I in any kinda ballpark here?

Timbuktu, hm? I wonder if they have tales about me over there as well~ ☆

[Just joking, of course. He has a terrible streak of getting waaay too much into any sort of competition, but since his new feathered friend is clearly just seeing this as a game, it's easy for him to do the same.]

If it's any solace, I never expected to play charades with hands either. Although it isn't the first time I did it with a supernatural animal, come to think of it. [He pauses and taps his pointer finger against his chin, somehow managing to convey that he's grinning behind that mask.] You're much smarter than most of the animal youkai I know, though, which is why I guessed that you must be a sort of human spirit that's taken an animal form.

[It's actually a mixture of vibes and sophistication. Ah, but back to the challenge at hand... ......... ..................he's still shit at coming up with any biblical names.]

Something to wipe your feet on - a doormat? And something that rhymes with achoo? ....Shrew? Break-through? Cashew? Fondou?

...

Dumat al-Jandal?

Ah, I'm a youkai. A pretty well-known one, although I guess I'm better known for being notorious than my raw power. Still, I'm generally considered one of the leaders among my kind.

[Hopefully Mr Whoever has a robust ego, because Matthew can't not laugh at that guess - and it's a pretty raucous sound from a raven with an east coast accent.]

Oh, boy - do not pass Go, do not collect $200. I really sound like an al-Anything to you? I mean, all due respect to the great melting pot dream of the US of A, but my surname was Cable. Was always some other kid in class with the same first name, too. It's nothing special. Try dropping the door and starting with just the 'Matt'.

...Fondou. Jesus.

[Finally gets a grip on his own mirth, though the sense of a smile lingers for all he's not really capable of the expression. And it's certainly not as if he's done any better.]

Youkai. [Said like he's rolling the word around his mouth to try it out.] Huh. And there's different kinds? So what, like animal, human, and... plant kinds, or something?

[He can't help it: the raven's laugh is so raucous that Nurarihyon has to join in. Back when he was still a notorious human Onmyouji, he'd have bristled with all the indignation of a youth overtly keen to prove his worth, but several centuries and a forced switch to the demon side of things later, and all he's thinking about is that Matthew would probably be a good drinking buddy to take around the blocks.]

Hey, come on now~ Sometimes the most absurd blind guesses actually end up being the winning tickets!

[But his opponent is right, it was a pretty silly guess. Still, he's proud that he could actually think of something that sounded like doormat at all ~!]

We already had Jesus and ruled that one out. No doubles. [he declares with the most serious tone he can muster right now before chuckling again]

Alright, bear with me if I end up sounding like a teacher here for a moment, that's just because that's what I used to be for several centuries. But I'll try to keep it curt:

Youkai is one of the general Japanese terms for all supernatural beings; demons, ghosts, monsters, fairies,... You name it. Anything that isn't a god can be considered a youkai. Because there are so many of them, there are plenty of ways to group them. The most common one is to just look at their physical shape - in that case you have:

1, the animal ones. Their origins lie in simple animals that have somehow become more than that. Think Bigfoot, or witches' familiars.

2, are the inanimate-type ones. They are objects that got possessed or fell under a special curse or blessing. Examples for them are animated scarecrow monsters, cursed dolls, but also undead like zombies.

Last we got the humanoid-type ones. Those are the ones who have always looked kind of human-y, like Superman, mutants, witches, fallen angels and so on. Does it make sense so far? I tried to go with examples that an American might be familiar with.

[and to make things less boring, he's going to toss out two name guesses again, albeit without any real attempt to get them right]

Is your name maybe Patrick? Since you said it rhymed and "Matt." Oh, or maybe Kyle or Carter! Those'd go well with Cable as surname~

[Well, thank goodness for evolving temperaments and a healthy sense of humour. Unfortunately Matthew's a better cautionary tale for drunks than a bar hopper these days, but he'd be happy to keep a friendly face company with a dish of water and some roadkill.]

[So, with equal good-naturedness,] Alright, alright. I can't blame someone for going all in.

[And then, oh boy, teacher indeed. Thankfully his time around a librarian has improved Matthew's ability to feign attentiveness during a lecture - though this doesn't require too much feigning. It's valuable information, after all; he meets all kinds of people and creatures these days, and even if this guy's the first defined-as-youkai, he's unlikely to be the last.]

Superman's a youkai? Huh. Always heard he was an alien.

Gotta be honest, this doesn't seem like it narrows things down all that much. Except for the part where I can't figure out where I fit... can you get hybrids with this stuff? ...Is that what you are?

And, you know what, I'm just going to put us all out of our misery here. Matthew. It's Matthew. [With an ironic little bow of the head; not quite good game, but definitely thanks for the laugh:] Atcha service.

[With enduring that lecture and even retaining some key points he has proved himself better at concentrating and paying attention than 40% of Nurarihyon's students and incidentally 70% of the teachers he employs.]

Matthew, huh? Well, guess I got to return the gesture, then!

[Reaching up, he slips the mask off and reveals a face that's that of a young man. It would probably be handsome, if it weren't for the huge wound that is covering the better part of its right side -- there, it looks like somebody took a magical rocket launcher to it. One milky white eye and a good blood-red one focus on Matthew as his lips twist into a smile with a natural cruel edge to it.]

Nurarihyon, the old man youkai. Pleased to meet you~

[He twirls he mask around before stashing it away within his jacket.]

Thanks for the refreshing game, I haven't had that much entertainment for free for a good while. And I don't know what your Superman really counts for. But since youkai can simply mean "strange creature," and Superman's neither an angel nor a god, I figured he might as well fit the bill. I'll leave the better definition up to you, though!

I'm a humanoid. What you see is what you get, no nifty hidden claws or transformations here. For you, I guess it'd depend on what you see yourself as; that's how we usually handle those who can fit into several categories. If you consider yourself an animal first and foremost, then you're an animal-type. If you consider yourself a human spirit possessing a different form or body, then you'd be an undead-type.

[Distinctive face. Matthew's seen worse, however - he lives among nightmares and has had to (mostly) politely deal with demons packing all kinds of body horror - so the curious cock of the head is more for the strange title. The guy's superpower is... what, being old?

And, phew, how do you explain that you were very much human but are very much a raven in a way that's less about possession and more about getting your damn definitions rewritten.]

...Guess I'd agree with us both being strange creatures, at least. Where's the mask come into things? Doesn't really work being the Old Man if they can see the lack of wrinkles?

Oh, this? It's just a Noh mask I grabbed once, back when there was still a good reason to keep my face covered. My luck would just have it that it's an Okina mask, which is basically the "old man" part in plays. Nowadays I mostly wear it because having all the kids ask me about what happened to my face gets old really fast.

[he flashes him a smirk]

That, and it's pretty funny to make others squirm when they can't see what face I'm making while I'm threatening them.

[Yeah, he's glad he checked the ground rules at the start of the game with all these vibes Nurarihyon is throwing off.]

So the mask's what made you a, whatsit, youkai? I've seen magicked things like that around before. Usually a lot harder to just take them on and off, though.

What? Oh! Oh no, this one is just an old theater prop that I bought off ebay after the last one got broken by an upset cat. [You know, angry divine guardian beast tiger of the west, cats having a bad habit of breaking things, and so on. What counts is that it all got sorted out in the end with Nurarihyon's mask as the only victim.]

I'd say that my reasons for being a youkai are no more profound than yours for being a raven - how did that happen, anyway? Were you unhappy with something your heirs did, or did some earthly desire keep you from moving on?

My heirs?

[Something about that tickles his darker humour. Christ. At least he can say he didn't get kids tangled up in his mess.]

Nah, this one's all on me. Guess you could call it the earthly desire to not be dead in a more permanent kinda way.

Hey, that's a classic.

['Gimme back my rice paddies', 'how dare you just squander all the riches I worked myself to death to get', 'if I can't have that person then nobody shall!' and so on and so on. There's countless ayakashi that have been born out of situations like that. Why shouldn't it be the same for their western counterparts?]

Heh, that's pretty much a classic too. In my case it was a competition that got a bit too out of control. I wanted to be recognized by everybody so, so much. Then one thing led to another and here I am, a monster whose only special characteristic it is that I'll be taken for granted by anybody no matter where I go.

Huh. Hell of a short straw to pull.

[He might've been able to guess the competitive spirit, though the guy's clearly eased up over time.]

What's it mean, though? Like, you gotta grant wishes for anyone who asks?

Right? It came with the most useful power that I could have wished for at that time, so I guess I can't complain too much, but the irony is really high. I'm also the only one who's ever been turned into a nurarihyon by that method, so I really don't know what went on at that time.

[He huffs and shakes his head, muttering something about not being mad that he isn't a crow instead, though.]

Heh, no. Wrong kind of granted there, pal. It means that I can go in any house and do anything I want right and everybody is just going to think that that's normal. Just google Nurarihyon if you want to know more.

Hi, my name is

GUESS MY NAME

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Sister Imperator, Prime Mover (1969) | Ghost

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