I'm doing this. I'm not promising I'm not going to slip, because I've tried to quit before- but I don't know if I've meant it like this before.

[He says, trying very hard to bite down his defensiveness, though he can't help taking a sharp step back.

He always feels like his heart is slamming against the metal in his chest, when he gets going like this. It turns out, he's learned the last couple of days, when you stop self-medicating you're more sober, but still crazy. Anxiety burns in his chest, breathing is unaccountably difficult.]

I've noticed we don't have as much science fun together.