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1: You just made me feel so dang special.
2: Look idk the rules and regulations of our friendship... but I need you to carry me to my car.
3: just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell bad. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
4: He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2020 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
5: Text Him?
2: Look idk the rules and regulations of our friendship... but I need you to carry me to my car.
3: just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell bad. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
4: He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2020 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
5: Text Him?
1. You're gonna wake up to bite marks. You're gonna think it was me. It wasn't me.
2. He walked in while I was on the floor sucking down beer pong and then I crushed a can with my forehead... I think he regrets ever fucking me.
3. idk why but drunk me thought you needed a homemade liquor cabinet, so... you can come pick it up whenever.
4. Can you please stop telling people that you nicknamed my dick?
5. (text him)
2. He walked in while I was on the floor sucking down beer pong and then I crushed a can with my forehead... I think he regrets ever fucking me.
3. idk why but drunk me thought you needed a homemade liquor cabinet, so... you can come pick it up whenever.
4. Can you please stop telling people that you nicknamed my dick?
5. (text him)
1. I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
2. I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my puppy
3. I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
4. Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
2. I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my puppy
3. I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
4. Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
1.) Look, it's not my fault a typical weekend for me means gunfire, a shit sleep schedule and catching up on some reading
2.) How do you say 'please rail me' in emoji?
3.) I managed to take down an entire weapons ring last night without injury but this morning I burn myself making eggs.
4.) Fyi when you flopped into bed you were covered in blood and when I asked about it you only said "it's not MY blood" before you passed out. You owe me new sheets.
2.) How do you say 'please rail me' in emoji?
3.) I managed to take down an entire weapons ring last night without injury but this morning I burn myself making eggs.
4.) Fyi when you flopped into bed you were covered in blood and when I asked about it you only said "it's not MY blood" before you passed out. You owe me new sheets.
1. I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
2. i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
3. Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
4. I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
2. i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
3. Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
4. I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
one. ) Define illegal. Your definition and mine do not inhabit the same continent.
two. ) One of two things would happen: He'd love it or you'd get a restraining order.
three. ) Ugh. I'm developing all these feelings, it's disgusting.
four. ) There is nothing to do but simply to be the chaos you wish to see in the world, my dear.
five. ) Our kind doesn't have the same problems as other people, do we?
wildcard. ) Text her! Assumed CR and misfires welcome.
two. ) One of two things would happen: He'd love it or you'd get a restraining order.
three. ) Ugh. I'm developing all these feelings, it's disgusting.
four. ) There is nothing to do but simply to be the chaos you wish to see in the world, my dear.
five. ) Our kind doesn't have the same problems as other people, do we?
wildcard. ) Text her! Assumed CR and misfires welcome.
1. You know what they say! Bad choices can make good memories!
2. my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
3. please answer my drunk texts next time, you made drunk me cry
4. Text her!
2. my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
3. please answer my drunk texts next time, you made drunk me cry
4. Text her!
Edited 2022-09-30 04:28 (UTC)
1. Okay you were right. I look amazing with eyeliner.
2. I think I just got lectured for drinking at my own gala. Which means I need to be drinking far more.
3. Okay I get it. Tony no. But alternatively what if... Tony yes?
4. Fight's over. Arc's damaged. Suit can't sustain flight. Pretty sure I have a concussion. Maybe something broken. Jet won't be here for a few hours. Keep me company while I promise I'm only nursing a glass of a scotch at some hole in the wall.
5. What is it with everyone asking if I make sex toys? Not for public market, is obviously the answer. Google would tell you that.
6. Well I'm fist deep in a bag full of BK burgers so I'd say my night is going just fine. You?
7. They said something about stress and my heart condition. I'm gonna have a glass of scotch. Takes the edge off. No stress. Doctor's orders.
8. [Text him! Misfires, cross-canon, assumed CR all great! Prefs are in journal.]
2. I think I just got lectured for drinking at my own gala. Which means I need to be drinking far more.
3. Okay I get it. Tony no. But alternatively what if... Tony yes?
4. Fight's over. Arc's damaged. Suit can't sustain flight. Pretty sure I have a concussion. Maybe something broken. Jet won't be here for a few hours. Keep me company while I promise I'm only nursing a glass of a scotch at some hole in the wall.
5. What is it with everyone asking if I make sex toys? Not for public market, is obviously the answer. Google would tell you that.
6. Well I'm fist deep in a bag full of BK burgers so I'd say my night is going just fine. You?
7. They said something about stress and my heart condition. I'm gonna have a glass of scotch. Takes the edge off. No stress. Doctor's orders.
8. [Text him! Misfires, cross-canon, assumed CR all great! Prefs are in journal.]
1. You thought cars couldn't see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
2. Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
3. You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
4. This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
2. Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
3. You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
4. This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
1.) My good Catholic morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes.
2.) Any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
3.) Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
4.) At first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went.
2.) Any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
3.) Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
4.) At first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went.
1. I am too pretty to be this sexually frustrated
2. Can you confirm that you are not actually dead?
3. He looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all his clothes off
2. Can you confirm that you are not actually dead?
3. He looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all his clothes off
A whole bag? That's a lot of burgers.
And my night has been...uh... interesting.
And my night has been...uh... interesting.
1. For someone who's such a hot mess inside, my life's far too together.
2. Deep cleaning my bedroom right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
3. I was drunk enough to rename 7 of my contacts after pizzas.
4. Sometimes I just want to serenade you with cheesy 80's songs. Is that so wrong?
5. I found you on the dance floor with your cell phone to your ear, saying that you didn't like the music that they played at the club, so you were going to listen to your own.
6. At some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
wildcard. Text him!
2. Deep cleaning my bedroom right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
3. I was drunk enough to rename 7 of my contacts after pizzas.
4. Sometimes I just want to serenade you with cheesy 80's songs. Is that so wrong?
5. I found you on the dance floor with your cell phone to your ear, saying that you didn't like the music that they played at the club, so you were going to listen to your own.
6. At some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
wildcard. Text him!
1. How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
2. I'm not saying I disagree with you on principle, I just think there's probably a more tactful way to tell someone you wouldn't fuck them.
3. If being a bully gets you all hot under the collar pick on someone your own size.
4. You should have seen it. I got QUITE impolite with that guy.
5. text him!
2. I'm not saying I disagree with you on principle, I just think there's probably a more tactful way to tell someone you wouldn't fuck them.
3. If being a bully gets you all hot under the collar pick on someone your own size.
4. You should have seen it. I got QUITE impolite with that guy.
5. text him!
1. come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
2. Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
3. HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
4. Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
2. Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
3. HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
4. Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
1. you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
2. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love. I'm proud, really.
3. at 4 am I was walking down the street in her bra and his shorts, and I'm pretty sure I passed my granddaughter on her morning walk.
4. If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another think coming
2. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love. I'm proud, really.
3. at 4 am I was walking down the street in her bra and his shorts, and I'm pretty sure I passed my granddaughter on her morning walk.
4. If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another think coming
1. I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
2. There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
3. I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
4. Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
2. There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
3. I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
4. Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
01. Back for more?
02. That was a really expensive jacket.
03. We really need to stop running into each other like this.
04. Bar's so dead I'm refilling my own drink. It's that kind of night.
05. [ or text him! misfires and cross-canon cool. will default to post-6 for timeline but also cool with going earlier as well as aus. ]
02. That was a really expensive jacket.
03. We really need to stop running into each other like this.
04. Bar's so dead I'm refilling my own drink. It's that kind of night.
05. [ or text him! misfires and cross-canon cool. will default to post-6 for timeline but also cool with going earlier as well as aus. ]
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