For quite a long part of his life Stede had not really been a man of pleasure - he had wanted to be, and had the funds to be, but the reality was that he had felt duty-bound to be at least an attempt at a decent husband. The reality was, however, that he was completely and utterly miserable and if the time he's spent with Ed has taught him nothing else it's that he is absolutely happy now. Ed has shown him a world he had ever thought possible, and he wants to drown in that.

He definitely feels out of place now, even with that self-same happiness burning through him.

Intimacy had been something he was obligated to do, but this feels like an entirely different world, something that he has been looking for his entire life, and the way that Ed looks at him lifts him up and makes him feel like he is somehow beyond anything in the world. He feels special, feels unique, feels as though he ought to be cherished, and that isn't something he has ever experienced in his life before. To have someone look at him the way that Edward is looking at him now? It's beyond imagination.

Licking his lips, he swallows a little. It's not fear, or discomfort: it's nerves. It's the want to do well, to be good enough, to show that he's worthy when he's not sure he will ever be good enough for Ed.

He coughs himself; the same need to clear his throat, to overcome the odd little lump that's developed there.

"You do make me -" The words are cut off by the kiss and Stede can't help the surprise he makes: a soft little mmph that settles, his head tilting a little to return the kiss. His hands lift up, waving idly for a moment, as if not sure where to go, before they rest on Ed's chest. Then he kisses back a little harder - because he wants Ed to feel good too, damnit.

Leaning back, he laughs softly, patting absently at Ed's collar.

"You could keep doing that. That felt good."