blackswanevent: (Eric Matthews on the DL.)
And that is why that girl is called a tease. ([personal profile] blackswanevent) wrote in [community profile] bakerstreet2013-02-27 07:33 pm

THE STRAIGHT UP HORROR ARCHETYPE MEME.

 photo mypokertimepics_d11_zpsb7122795.jpg


Also known as the "Cabin in the Woods esque meme."




Horror - Horror fiction, horror literature and also horror fantasy is a genre of literature, which is intended to, or has the capacity to frighten its readers, scare or startle viewers/readers by inducing feelings of horror and terror. It creates an eerie and frightening atmosphere.

Do you like to be scared? Do you like to sit alone in your room at night watching Marble Hornets on your laptop, downloading movies off of netflix, or just watchin your own collection? Do you hate being scared, want to punch your friends in the face every time they drag you to a scary movie, or are you indifferent?

Tonight (and for however long you're willing to thread through it) You are in a horror movie.
The twist to this is that you are reduced to the most basic Horror movie tropes. You're a supernatural hunter? Then you're probably stranded in the Van Helsing era. You're a cop? You're suddenly dumb enough to go into a dark area to investigate the noise without back-up. Roll a jock? You're going to punch your way out of this situation. Play a monster? You are a soulless unstoppable killing machine that represents death ... to the movie going audience.

Even if you don't want to kill people.



1. Roll your archetype. [Cabin in the Woods taught us all about this.]
2. Roll your scenario.
3. ???
4. Profit.
- Use the Random Number Generator -



1. THE JOCK - Suddenly everything is about sports or physical activity. You are active, you are hot, you have suddenly and completely lost whatever interpersonal skills you might have had. You are Hollywood's definition of the football quarterback, ready to get the girl and save the day by using your fists and relying on the nerd to solve any other problems. Even if you've never had a girlfriend or a boyfriend suddenly everybody wants a piece of you.

2. THE CHEERLEADER - known by some other not-so-nice names you are the most popular girl in school. You are pretty, you are idealized, you are what Hollywood thinks every woman should have been and should strive to be. You're probably related to the jock, you're probably really attractive. Unfortunately with great beauty comes...absolutely no responsibility. Whatever survival skills you have just flew out the window and isn't brad looking fantastic today?

3. THE FOOL - You're here for the party. You're everybody's brother, everybody's friend, and suddenly totally capable of providing any kind of narcotic at a moment's notice and using them without any ill effects. Slightly unkempt, most likely living in your mother's basement. Forget significant others - you can only get close but chances are you'll be one of the first out the door if push comes to shove. Bravery? You may have walked in brave but you're a coward now pal. Sorry.

4. THE SCHOLAR - Nothing is better then books and we mean nothing. You're top of the class, you have at least three of the other four tropes copying your homework. Sure you may have a crush (isn't she pretty?) but you're not likely to act on it. When pushed you might fight back using knowledge which gives you an edge, but we'll see how long it lasts once rampaging vampires come hounding for your blood. Does knowing how to work a shotgun mean you can actually fire one when the chips are down?

5. THE VIRGIN - While the Cheerleader is what Hollywood wants women to be, you are now what storytellers recognize exist in all women. You are pure, you are decent. You may not be entirely virginal, but as people say "we work with what we have." By virtue of being unspoiled by the world (or the attentions of the Fool, Scholar, Jock, and Cheerleader) you are a representative of the human beings that we all want to be. Also known as the final girl, the virgin represents the audience, tainted by the things she sees - horrified - and ultimately changed forever. Bet you didn't know you could hack off the maniac serial killer's head.

What's that? you say you're not perpetually in high school? You want some other tropes instead?

6. OFFICER FRIENDLY - Law enforcement eat your heart out. You represent everything wrong with authority. Instead of waiting to investigate, whatever investigative skills you have have flown out the window. Either you're covering up what went on in the town twenty years ago or you're the rookie dumb enough to go into a dark house with no lights with just a flashlight and your hand gun and no back-up whatsoever. Those kids who said they saw something by the lake that dragged off their friend were probably on something. Right?

7. THE PRETENTIOUS CAMEO - Your car broke down, you are late to a business meeting, you are just unlucky enough to pull off the road into Fright Night and suddenly you're an asshole. These kids are horrible, they all have problems, you'll be the one calling the police or insisting that they can get in your car. Suddenly your involved - but that's not your name up in lights. Even if you're a cameo and you're a big name in the business chances are the director brought you here because killing you off would be hilarious. Do you hear the laughter while you look for that super expensive lighter to try and find your way out of the haunted house? That's the audience. They're excited to see you die.

8. THE MONSTER - Aw, are you pining for a loved one? Worried about the girl of your dreams dumping you because you grow scales every night and sleep in a tree? Not to worry, whatever your emotions you are now fully embracing your darker nature. You represent mankind unleashed, the perfect killer monster and I quote, "He represents the urge that we have to strangle the old lady in the check out line who is taking too long with her groceries." Team up with the mindless serial killer? Why not? add more pals to your growing brood of monsters? Everybody loves new family. Cannibal rednecks roaming the countryside? Bring on the whiskey and the Rye we like to get fucked up and do fucked up shit! Consider yourselves +200 as far as your strength, stamina, and agility. Pretty much the only thing that could take you down would be Buffy or the combined strength of a bunch of wannabe scooby kids.

9. THE HUNTER - Tormented or otherwise, you lost someone. A parent, a loved one, a brother, a sister - a lover. They were lost to the darkness and since then you have dedicated your life to bringing them back. Partner? Fuck partner, if you had a partner before you are riding alone into the sunset. You are the lone ranger, you are science versus magic and superstition. Heaven help any archetypes, officers, or others who get in your way because you work alone and it takes a special kind to get you out and about and break through your dark exterior and even then - chances are you are way too devoted to the cause. Werewolves? empty the silver. Vampires? Hack up the table. Zombies? Get me my gun.

10. CONTROL - We're doing archetypes, and what would archetypes be without those behind the scenes. Whoever you are - the aliens, the vampires, the zombies, the monsters, the fuzz on the breakfast cereal in the cabin. It's all your fault. You tried to play god, accidentally opened a portal to hell, are working for the men in black. Where officer friendly fails, you succeed. The problem is you now don't care about any bodies that you leave along the way. You beg the audience to ask the question, "In the fight between the mindless ravening corporation and the drooling escaped creature they created...who's the real monster?

-SCENARIOS-

1. FIRE IN THE SKIES/DARK SKIES/FALLING SKIES/SOMETHING'S FUCKED UP WITH THE SKY Aliens. They're here. among us. They've either been hiding among us for years and finally decided to announce it or there is blue light everywhere. Keep an eye on your friends, don't look up, and if you do get snatched just try and shut out the whole operating table. They might even be friendly. Chances are however, they're not.

2. PARANORMAL ACTIVITY OF SOME SORT MAYBE IT'S JUST THE HOUSE SETTLING IDEK You just bought a house! You're in a house! You're investigating a house! You've been dared to throw a party in a house! gosh, hope those stories about the demon/serial killer/ravening mailman aren't true! Maybe if you set up a camera, dig out a spirit board, and tweet a hundred different people "omg staying in a haunted house lol" you can get over the oppressive gloom that seems to settle. You might stop seeing the faces outside the windows too.

3. WE'RE HOLDING AN EXORCISM AT THE DEVIL'S CARNIVAL The paramount fear of going to hell is always there and you have reason to be fearful. Maybe you're possessed, maybe someone you know is possessed, maybe you read from a book either way you are suddenly stuck with the real knowledge that there is an afterlife and it's not going to be a happy one even if there's singing and dancing. Call a priest, hope he's not a hilarious cameo, make sure not to have any sex whatsoever because you never know who you might knock up and accidentally give birth to satan.

4. VAMPIRES. VAMPIRES EVERYWHERE (AND MAYBE WEREWOLVES) It's either a town or a castle or something else but you just rolled into it and nobody is talking to you. There's rumors about creatures of the night and wars and a bunch of other things but really you're more concerned about the fact that all the food in the local store is rotted and everybody seems to drink - well - blood. Alternatively, everybody seems really concerned with the lunar cycle and nobody actually crosses the local churchyard. The guy at the local bar is carrying a shot gun, the sheriff isn't talking. Drive out? sure but it's going to take another two days for the car to be fixed.

5. STALKER IS JUST A WORD FOR A FRIEND YOU HAVEN'T MET You are in a large, creepy, and possibly abandoned area. You and your group are being stalked by a spirit, an entity, and no matter what you hit him with he does not die. Maybe he keeps sets like the ones from SAW in the basement, maybe he's just got a bunch of groupies that look like Sherry Moon Zombie, either way you are his prey (hey that's kind of neat) and he's not letting you go. So curl up tight and say good night because one, two, freddy (or insert your new friend turned monster here) is coming for you...

6. THE CABIN IN THE WOODS Cabin+Woods+Five Classic Archetypes = Joss Whedon movie. Also classic American Horror formula dating back to the golden age of scary movie classics. Instead of being stalked in a big abandoned area or a city or a town you are in a cabin and it's you against the bugs, raccoons, and whatever else is crawling around outside your door. What's worse, axe to the face or bug-bites? Angry tree or the raccoon eating your lunch?

7. NOBODY BELIEVES ME, COME ON GUYS SOMETHING IS UP AND NO ONE BELIEVES YOU. You are being followed, you are seeing a ghost or a monster and nobody in town is looking (or maybe they're all in on it?) You're alone, isolated, absolutely fucking terrified and nobody seemingly gives a shit. Is it you? Or is it the fact that you're the monster? Is it all in your head? Or is there some asshole with a script and a million dollar movie watching you suffer? Is it a figment of your imagination or is it the fact that...you're the monster?

8.AT LAST, WE'RE ALONE. NOW WE WILL SEX. The obligatory smut option. Whatever is going on you and your partner are at last, alone. You forgot Wes Craven's rules of horror movies however. You never want to be alone. Monsters can smell sex. They can smell exposed breasts, they can smell getting it on, they're the only primal urges in this horror picture thank you. Get it done quick because at any moment either one of you will turn out to be the killer or something will break down the door and send you running naked into the hallway while your partner fights it off.

9. THAT REM SONG. It's the end of the world as we know it and you feel fine. Or maybe not fine. Or maybe just really scared of going outside. What killed the world? A ravening plague of monsters? A deadly virus? Mutants? bad memes on bakerstreet? Grab some friends because your hiding place is no longer safe. It's time to begin life anew. Anybody know the theme song to "Road Warrior?"

10. WE'RE SORRY. OUR BAD. Somebody screwed up. Maybe it was control, maybe it was the townspeople, maybe it was your mom and dad but somebody screwed up and something got out. You've got a beast in you. Something went wrong. You want to cope, you want to be a nice person and keep up with your friends and colleagues but you are going through ch-ch-changes and these aren't the nice ones you see on MTV or coming from Summit Pictures. Embrace your transformation and let out your inner animal - and maybe look up for some other unwilling victims you could have fun with...

10.5 MARBLE HORNETS MARBLE HORNETS MAR-OH WAIT. NO SLENDERMAN'S ON THIS TAPE. It may not be classic but found footage horror is becoming a mainstay of the American medium. Either you're investigating it or you're experiencing one of those other scenarios, but you're doing it with a digital camera because everyone is secretly a voyeur who really likes to watch you suffer. Based in creepy pasta, whatever is coming after you will be broadcast to the collective unconscious. Don't think of your death as meaningless, think of it as warning people that some really tall guy likes to stand in the back of photographs. The police should watch out for him!

11. TIME FOR A SEQUEL If Horror movies teach us anything it's that scary pictures are often given sequels...that make no sense. The first Mike Meyers movies ended with Tyra Banks and a reality TV online thing. Nightmare on Elm Street ended with Freddy and Jason fighting each other? Basically...this is your choose your own adventure option.
detoxes: (Default)

mia | evil dead | ota.

[personal profile] detoxes 2013-02-28 04:50 am (UTC)(link)
[So I rolled a 5 (the virgin) and a 7 (y u no believe me). Fitting.]
placeintheworld: (routine blood)

LINDSEY MACDONALD | ANGEL

[personal profile] placeintheworld 2013-02-28 05:02 am (UTC)(link)
..
prettymuchdeadalready: (Hold on then)

SHANE WALSH | WALKING DEAD.

[personal profile] prettymuchdeadalready 2013-02-28 05:03 am (UTC)(link)
..
workwithwhatwehave: (pic#5615138)

THE DIRECTOR | CABIN IN THE WOODS

[personal profile] workwithwhatwehave 2013-02-28 05:05 am (UTC)(link)
..
Edited 2013-02-28 05:05 (UTC)
coolerwithamerman: (Well. Fuck.)

Since they were based on the same movie..

[personal profile] coolerwithamerman 2013-02-28 05:07 am (UTC)(link)
[Steven Hadley was bored.

Bored. Bored Bored. bored. He scrolled through another screen, double checking the location of other cameras in the cabin while the kids argued about the book.

Fuck, at least they hadn't picked the Buckners. He watched Sitterson chat with the latest stiff and focused on the virgin with a shrug.

No way they could see them. Hear them - hear the focusing camera. Maybe.

He did sort of feel sorry for her.]
detoxes: (listen to me.)

[personal profile] detoxes 2013-02-28 05:17 am (UTC)(link)
[Mia just stands away from the group, arms around her middle. She really doesn't like anything about this place. And she can't stop looking around.

She wishes they'd stop it with the damn book already. Just put it back. But she doesn't say anything. They'd just think she's overreacting like she always does.]
lookhowiturnedout: (Ridley)

RIDLEY DUCHANNES || BEAUTIFUL CREATURES

[personal profile] lookhowiturnedout 2013-02-28 05:17 am (UTC)(link)
[special emphasis on ten]
wholeheartedseraph: (smiles)

Castiel | Supernatural | ota

[personal profile] wholeheartedseraph 2013-02-28 05:18 am (UTC)(link)
coolerwithamerman: (...no sir. I do not doubt you.)

[personal profile] coolerwithamerman 2013-02-28 05:20 am (UTC)(link)
[She should be talking to them. Arguing with them. Or should she be running around?

No. He pressed his intercom]


Story can you give me a check on two? where's the virgin in the scenario by now?

[...well why not? He presses a different button and Mia might hear a voice...]

That book might be important. We should read more.
detoxes: (terrified.)

[personal profile] detoxes 2013-02-28 05:24 am (UTC)(link)
[Her eyes dart, and she turns around as soon as she swears she hears something. She mutters to herself, not too quick to believe.] That's the stupidest thing I've ever fucking heard...

Guys. [She clears her throat.] Guys, can we not. I don't think we should read anything else in there. You don't know where it came from.

[Of course she just gets moans and groans in response. Because clearly she doesn't know how to have any fun. Even when said fun could be potential life-threatening.]
coolerwithamerman: (Default)

[personal profile] coolerwithamerman 2013-02-28 05:26 am (UTC)(link)
[Goddamnit if they don't read more...]

Story? where the hell is my update please?

[Steven Hadley presses his hands to his eyes before studying more buttons.]

That book looks interesting. Let's read more.

[This time he added the most mild dose of a mind control drug. Whatever Gary might think of Lyn...she did her job]
detoxes: (too late.)

[personal profile] detoxes 2013-02-28 05:44 am (UTC)(link)
[She's going to prove to be a difficult one. Sorry in advance.]

Why would we want to read it...

[Something's wrong. She slumps into the nearest easy chair, staring at the floor. This all seems terribly familiar to her. Why would she even be here in the first place? She doesn't remember.

And before she knows it, she's blurting out:]


I guess we can look at it. It's just a book, right?

Hey. Hey guys? [She turns to them, picking herself up.] Can I look at that for a second?
coolerwithamerman: (Just staring.)

[personal profile] coolerwithamerman 2013-02-28 05:49 am (UTC)(link)
[Excellent.

Hadley smiles...and feels a little sick inside. One more page and the dead rise and the tree that brings the dead comes.]


The second page. read it aloud.

[In his word, a digital voice announces that they're covered for this behavior.]
detoxes: (for fuck's sake.)

[personal profile] detoxes 2013-02-28 05:55 am (UTC)(link)
[She tentatively approaches the rest of her "friends" - in all honesty, the group doesn't even know each other. But they don't realize it. That's the power of PineSol heavy mind-altering drugs, man.

And she takes the big, leather(?)-bound book, opening it to a random page to peruse. Something tells her to go to page two. But she doesn't. At least - not yet. She just... looks at it, running her hand over the various scribbles and illustrations contained therein.

She flips around a bit more. And - bam. It hits her.]


Oh my god. Fucking-a. I know where I've seen this before. Shit, are you kidding me?

[She drops it to the cabin floor, and the pages conveniently turn to #2, the page in question. The one with the incantation.]
coolerwithamerman: (LEANING FORWARD)

[personal profile] coolerwithamerman 2013-02-28 05:58 am (UTC)(link)
Lyn? Can you pump in something to stop her from freaking out? [Hadley made adjustments and added a higher dose of mind control drugs. Praying. Praying.]

Relax...Relax...
detoxes: (fuck the woods.)

[personal profile] detoxes 2013-02-28 06:03 am (UTC)(link)
No - you don't understand. We have to get rid of this. Burn it or something!

[Wait a minute. Didn't she try doing that last time? The whole place burned to the ground, the book with it. And it still exists. It's right there at her feet.

And then she's fighting with the rest of the group, trying her best to snatch the book away.

She's past freaking out. You're gonna need to do something better if you want to stay in control.]
coolerwithamerman: (Default)

[personal profile] coolerwithamerman 2013-02-28 06:05 am (UTC)(link)
[Nope. Nope nope.]

Pump in the thorazine. We've got to take this to zero.

[A white mist began to filter into the cabin.]
remediation: (I hide in the spotlight)

4-9.

[personal profile] remediation 2013-02-28 06:11 am (UTC)(link)
[It's a rinky-dink little motel out in the outskirts of some Godforsaken corner of the rural United States. Probably out in Virginia. Maybe Maryland; Arlington, probably. It doesn't matter. What matters is that the boards nailed across the door can hold and the bars welded in the windowsills stay firm.]

[Lilah's been leafing through every book she had stashed on her. Survival guides. Weapons upkeep manuals. Medical journals. Something. Anything. She hasn't slept in days. Hard to, with all the moaning noises outside. It's pretty hard to take for a scrawny 19-year old who still freaks out at the thought of the outdoors.]


I can solve this. We can get out of this. There has to be something we've missed.
remediation: (oh me of little faith)

The Lone Wanderer | Fallout 3

[personal profile] remediation 2013-02-28 06:12 am (UTC)(link)
detoxes: (good job.)

[personal profile] detoxes 2013-02-28 06:12 am (UTC)(link)
[Okay why is it getting foggy in here. It's not foggy outside. At least, it wasn't. And no one left any doors open.

That's normally what Mia would be thinking about. But she's too busy trying to win a tug-of-war. She needs to get rid of this damn book before it happens again.

And then is doesn't really matter. At all. She feels calm, strange enough. Possibly tired? Who knows what other side effects she's experiencing, she's been pumped with so much crap over the last few hours. Whatever it is, it's enough to stop her from putting up a fight. Everyone else, too.]
prettymuchdeadalready: (serious)

Rolling 6 for Shane by default because...hilarious.

[personal profile] prettymuchdeadalready 2013-02-28 06:14 am (UTC)(link)
[Shane's snappish. Irritated. there should have been people there by now. There should have been men and women and children there. Camps. Shelters.]

Nothing to know. Just shoot them in the head wait for the army to sort them out. when was the last time you slept?
hexappeal: (soldier.)

zatanna zatara | dc & vertigo comics

[personal profile] hexappeal 2013-02-28 06:14 am (UTC)(link)

9 (the hunter) and rolled a 2 ironically (haunted house).

[personal profile] devoveous 2013-02-28 06:16 am (UTC)(link)
[Don't ask Sam how he got separated from his brother, even he isn't entirely sure of the details. Just know that he's alone in the house now and there is some seriously creepy shit going on. Creepy shit that he plans on stopping before anyone else gets killed by a murderous spirit or whatever resides here and is leaving body parts as decor.]
coolerwithamerman: (chagrined)

[personal profile] coolerwithamerman 2013-02-28 06:19 am (UTC)(link)
[That shuts them down effectively. They have a longer timeline for this. Rehab trips take two-three days at the least and they - (who shall remain nameless but with power) are forgiving.

They have to be.

So one by one men in white suits and coats enter the house with the ease of professionals. They're well trained, Iraq, Kuwait. The best the government has to offer. Hadley however, Hadley was a NASA engineer. He had to try to understand what went wrong and besides she wouldn't remember anyway right?

Of course not.

So he flashes his badge and an hour later they're cleaning everything out of her system and getting ready to re-write her memories and he returns. A man in a white shirt and a black tie - totally normal.

Staring down at her in her restraints.]


Mia?
remediation: (it should've ended there)

Maybe S1 Shane was friendly. S2 Shane? ...Yeeeeah.

[personal profile] remediation 2013-02-28 06:22 am (UTC)(link)
[But there isn't a sign of them. Just the undead roaming the street, listless. Lifeless. And troublesome.]

Slept? [She rubs one eye with the palm of her hand blearily.] Not since- since Dad. [Since his death. Since the bottom fell out of the world.]

There is no way that the Army is coming. We would have seen them by now. Or heard announcements over the radio. They must be tied up elsewhere. We have to handle this.

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