lighty_broad: (031)
Rose Lalonde | TentacleTherapist ([personal profile] lighty_broad) wrote in [community profile] bakerstreet 2012-03-01 01:17 am (UTC)

tHeSe ThReAdS aRe MoThErFuCkInG mIrAcLeS

I cannot justify if I have the right to cry as well, so I will take that as literal as possible.
Why am I crying...
That would be because both versions of myself have failed both versions of you in both universes.
In my universe, I dared believe your love and affection to be anything but genuine and took for granted that you were mortal, even if incredibly capable, independent, and strong.
In this universe, though I may not know exactly what I had done, I obviously failed you if you came to believe for a moment that you were at fault for my death or felt nothing but neglect from me. If you felt inadequacy and loneliness, then I failed.
I suppose I made essentially the same mistake in each universe, if both relationships are simplified as much as possible.

I believed you to not need me, to not want me.

To have failed you twice--making the same mistake, twice--and still be given the opportunity to be with you is why I cry. I have made mistakes that cannot be forgiven and have been given a gift I do not deserve.

I believe both to be reasons to cry.

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