He waves back at her, without hardly thinking about it, and turns away after a moment. He has a kid. There is a person in the universe that has half his DNA. He's met her. She's a pretty cute kid, even with the face touching thing. She makes him panic a little, just looking at her, and that's a new feeling.
Kirk eventually remembers that he has plans to meet Scotty for lunch and he'll show up late with no excuse and no explanation and if that bothers you so much, then he'll just leave. It doesn't occur to him to talk about what happened in the park with Scotty, not seriously. He's still in shock or something and he manages to drink three beers and eat next to nothing at the restaurant before he makes up an excuse and leaves.
Carol has a point, he can begrudgingly admit that, even just to himself. They're not in a relationship and he's not about to marry her because this isn't the nineteenth century. You don't have to marry your baby mama for the sake of saving face. Two mature adults can shoulder the responsibility of raising a child and not have to be romantically involved. And she's right in assuming that he's not about to give up his command and Enterprise and the stars to stay on Earth and raise a family either.
It'd be so easy to walk away. Carol expects it. Hell, he'd bet that she wants that. He could just, go back to his ship in a couple weeks, forget this ever happened and go on with his life. Except that every time he thinks about doing that, and tries to imagine it, he just feels like a creep. He feels like the asshole who walks away because he's a selfish prick. Kirk is selfish and a prick, but usually he doesn't combine the two. He's pretty sure he'd end up hating his life more if he walked.
It feels like a no-win scenario except that he doesn't believe in those.
He finds her address pretty easily. Maybe it wasn't exactly legal or not a blatant abuse of his security clearance but that's the last thing he cares about right now. She might be done with the conversation but he's not. They're going to come to a compromise about this.
Of course when he gets there, he's hit with that same panicky feeling from the park. This isn't one of missions where he can flout the rules and take the risk and things will be fine. The damage isn't a broken rib and a concussion, it's a kid's life and can he really be trusted with that? He can barely take care of himself sometimes, without Bones hounding him or Spock casually remarking that he looks tired and maybe getting some sleep is the best choice. He can lead a crew of several hundred people and that's easy. That's looking out for their best interest but never having to be emotionally involved, or teaching them how to be good people or pulling a phaser on sketchy boys lurking around.
Fuck it. Jim reaches out and knocks on her front door before he can talk himself into walking away.]
no subject
He waves back at her, without hardly thinking about it, and turns away after a moment. He has a kid. There is a person in the universe that has half his DNA. He's met her. She's a pretty cute kid, even with the face touching thing. She makes him panic a little, just looking at her, and that's a new feeling.
Kirk eventually remembers that he has plans to meet Scotty for lunch and he'll show up late with no excuse and no explanation and if that bothers you so much, then he'll just leave. It doesn't occur to him to talk about what happened in the park with Scotty, not seriously. He's still in shock or something and he manages to drink three beers and eat next to nothing at the restaurant before he makes up an excuse and leaves.
Carol has a point, he can begrudgingly admit that, even just to himself. They're not in a relationship and he's not about to marry her because this isn't the nineteenth century. You don't have to marry your baby mama for the sake of saving face. Two mature adults can shoulder the responsibility of raising a child and not have to be romantically involved. And she's right in assuming that he's not about to give up his command and Enterprise and the stars to stay on Earth and raise a family either.
It'd be so easy to walk away. Carol expects it. Hell, he'd bet that she wants that. He could just, go back to his ship in a couple weeks, forget this ever happened and go on with his life. Except that every time he thinks about doing that, and tries to imagine it, he just feels like a creep. He feels like the asshole who walks away because he's a selfish prick. Kirk is selfish and a prick, but usually he doesn't combine the two. He's pretty sure he'd end up hating his life more if he walked.
It feels like a no-win scenario except that he doesn't believe in those.
He finds her address pretty easily. Maybe it wasn't exactly legal or not a blatant abuse of his security clearance but that's the last thing he cares about right now. She might be done with the conversation but he's not. They're going to come to a compromise about this.
Of course when he gets there, he's hit with that same panicky feeling from the park. This isn't one of missions where he can flout the rules and take the risk and things will be fine. The damage isn't a broken rib and a concussion, it's a kid's life and can he really be trusted with that? He can barely take care of himself sometimes, without Bones hounding him or Spock casually remarking that he looks tired and maybe getting some sleep is the best choice. He can lead a crew of several hundred people and that's easy. That's looking out for their best interest but never having to be emotionally involved, or teaching them how to be good people or pulling a phaser on sketchy boys lurking around.
Fuck it. Jim reaches out and knocks on her front door before he can talk himself into walking away.]