[Jemma swallows heavily. It's not that hearing that is making her emotional, but hearing that is kind of making her emotional, almost more so because it's said so plainly. It's what she strives for, in whatever way she can. Being good makes sense to her. Good to the world, good to her people. (Good to herself comes in notably lower on the list.) Being good feels, well, good.
And god. She blames herself for their current misadventures, not to mention a whole lot of the ones preceding. (She also acknowledges that her writer, like Lian May, blames white boys, but then she blames herself for the writers inexplicably not letting her be strong enough to stop enabling and being codependent with said white boys, and it all comes back around.) She doesn't feel at all like she's been good, and it definitely bothers her, but. Well. Right now she doesn't feel like May is just telling her what she wants to hear, because that's not a thing May does, so even if she doesn't believe it herself, she believes that May believes it.
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And god. She blames herself for their current misadventures, not to mention a whole lot of the ones preceding. (She also acknowledges that her writer, like Lian May, blames white boys, but then she blames herself for
the writers inexplicably not letting her be strong enough to stopenabling and being codependent with said white boys, and it all comes back around.) She doesn't feel at all like she's been good, and it definitely bothers her, but. Well. Right now she doesn't feel like May is just telling her what she wants to hear, because that's not a thing May does, so even if she doesn't believe it herself, she believes that May believes it.It counts for a lot.]
Thank you. I have good inspiration.