Lapideus (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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bakerstreet2020-03-13 10:00 pm
lapideus) wrote in bakerstreet2020-03-13 10:00 pm
Entry tags:
a
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
b
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
c
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
d
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
e
You literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
f
Apparently he couldn't remember my name so he referred to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about.
or
text her!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
b
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
c
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
d
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
e
You literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
f
Apparently he couldn't remember my name so he referred to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about.
or
text her!
1. what people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
2. please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
2. please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
1: This is either the best idea I've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
2: Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
3: I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that I'm supposed to hate you for it.
4: Text him?
2: Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
3: I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that I'm supposed to hate you for it.
4: Text him?
01: it glows. i had to have it.
02: i've decided to see your threat against my life as flirting!
03: i told you i was good to drive
04: hi i put a dog in your house. i hope it's yours
05: i'm sorry for almost setting you on fire last night
06: [ or text her! ]
02: i've decided to see your threat against my life as flirting!
03: i told you i was good to drive
04: hi i put a dog in your house. i hope it's yours
05: i'm sorry for almost setting you on fire last night
06: [ or text her! ]
1. Sorry I wasn't ignoring you last night, I threw my phone at the wall and shattered the screen.
2. Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room. She's NOT taking this well.
3. They tried to convince me I broke Haruki-san's nose. Also they locked me on the roof.
4. You were like "I don't want to pressure you" and then took your shirt off.
or text him
2. Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room. She's NOT taking this well.
3. They tried to convince me I broke Haruki-san's nose. Also they locked me on the roof.
4. You were like "I don't want to pressure you" and then took your shirt off.
or text him
1. We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
2. My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
3. I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
4. Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
5. Text her first!
2. My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
3. I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
4. Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
5. Text her first!
1. Good news regarding the lost grenade! I found the pin!
2. I believe the phrase I'm looking for is 'slap your shit.'
3. I'm awfully thirsty and you are delicious. Are you free for a quick bite?
4. I didn't live, die and unlive again to put up with this sort of horseshit. I signed up for an entirely different kind of horseshit!
5. [ Or text him. ]
2. I believe the phrase I'm looking for is 'slap your shit.'
3. I'm awfully thirsty and you are delicious. Are you free for a quick bite?
4. I didn't live, die and unlive again to put up with this sort of horseshit. I signed up for an entirely different kind of horseshit!
5. [ Or text him. ]
1. Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
2. So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober...
3. On a scale from 1 to "no one will find your grave", how angry are you?
4. you're just mad because I have donuts and I'm beautiful.
2. So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober...
3. On a scale from 1 to "no one will find your grave", how angry are you?
4. you're just mad because I have donuts and I'm beautiful.
Lenore ☾ Castlevania(Netflix) ☾ ota (Please mark spoilers for S3)
speakdiplomacytome
2020-03-13 12:07 pm (UTC)(link)
i: Vampires? Please, we're Fampires.
ii: Dating tip: Hold the door for your date. Rip the door off its hinges. Use the door as a weapon to fight off others. Establish dominance.
iii: If i stick my leg in the air will you give me attention?
iv: it's not a "~*crime*~" if you look cute doing it
v: Leave her a message
ii: Dating tip: Hold the door for your date. Rip the door off its hinges. Use the door as a weapon to fight off others. Establish dominance.
iii: If i stick my leg in the air will you give me attention?
iv: it's not a "~*crime*~" if you look cute doing it
v: Leave her a message
Edited 2020-03-13 12:07 (UTC)
1. Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
2. don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
3. How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
4. Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
5. Text her first!
2. don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
3. How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
4. Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
5. Text her first!
1. We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way.
2. Do you ever look at your life and go "I'm too sober for this bullshit"?
3. Try me, you 5'5" gremlin.
4. Text her.
2. Do you ever look at your life and go "I'm too sober for this bullshit"?
3. Try me, you 5'5" gremlin.
4. Text her.
1. We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
2. It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
3. In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
4. I need some buff guy to cuddle me and call me precious
5. Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
6. ( text him! )
2. It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
3. In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
4. I need some buff guy to cuddle me and call me precious
5. Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
6. ( text him! )
1. I can feel your Force signature so I know you're not dead. But seriously where are you???
2. Sorry about calling you the devil all night.
3. Or you do us both a favor and could come rip my clothes off. [ Accompanied by a bitmoji ]
4.
5. I'm a little afraid to ask. But where are the porgs?
6. Wildcard. [ Cross-canon, AU, assumed CR, etc is all cool! ]
2. Sorry about calling you the devil all night.
3. Or you do us both a favor and could come rip my clothes off. [ Accompanied by a bitmoji ]
4.
5. I'm a little afraid to ask. But where are the porgs?
6. Wildcard. [ Cross-canon, AU, assumed CR, etc is all cool! ]
Edited 2020-03-13 12:19 (UTC)
( info & permissions. )
1. i had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. i feel like i've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace.
2. as gay men, are we obligated to learn the "single ladies" dance?
3. he did once say, when is death not just an opportunity to get laid...
- 1. Yeah, no, I know that wasn't meant as a compliment, but it's the closest I'm going to get from you sooo.
2. He has a safe with his own personal supply of chocolate inside. It's what he tried to use to pay me.
3. You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Five Guys and hand-drawn graphic novels.
4. Don't lie to me. I saw the tweets. And the subtweets. And that one photo.
5. I just want to clarify: was that meant generally, or was that a special Spidey-specific subscript?
6. ( or text him! ota incl. cross-canon, assumed cr and misfires. )
1. We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
2. Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
3. Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
4. i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
5. [ where did this boy get a cell phone. anyway text him ]
2. Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
3. Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
4. i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
5. [ where did this boy get a cell phone. anyway text him ]
Could apply to a couple people I know.
At least for me.
At least for me.
[ The comment being taken as a compliment, for reference, was 'not as bad as you used to be.' ]
i take it back.
i take it back.
1. i just had an epiphany. there is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. it feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment
2. it's the girl who gave you a bloody nose
3. do i have to formally apologize to mikleo for flashing him?
4. i might have accidentally adopted a wolf. in my defense, puppies and baby wolves look the same
2. it's the girl who gave you a bloody nose
3. do i have to formally apologize to mikleo for flashing him?
4. i might have accidentally adopted a wolf. in my defense, puppies and baby wolves look the same
By default, the latest in a long line of chosen ones meant to save the world, but the first in the post-apocalypse after the last guy failed. He chooses to be a shadowy figure that uses methods more suitable for the sort of Demon Lord the hero would normally be opposing, mostly due to low self-esteem. But open to AUing!
1. dragon dragon dragon fucking DRAGON
2. I lived. If you were wondering.
3. I'm sure that mountain will grow back. Eventually.
4. I'm one dog joke away from losing my entire mind.
5. I have a shiny new wizard's tower and you're invited to never step foot in it.
or text him
1. dragon dragon dragon fucking DRAGON
2. I lived. If you were wondering.
3. I'm sure that mountain will grow back. Eventually.
4. I'm one dog joke away from losing my entire mind.
5. I have a shiny new wizard's tower and you're invited to never step foot in it.
or text him
I could say the same, and I don't even flaunt mine the way Manuela does.
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