"I- I can't change other people but this situation hinges pretty well on...me." He's the one asking them to share him. He's the one demanding their time, their affection, and trying as hard as humanly possible to give them all he has in return when they're together. Whatever's bothering Bucky has to be something he can change. He can't see anything in this situation that's not his fault. But...He frowns, gaze settling in the middle distance as he tries to puzzle out how this is on Bucky.
It's not coming.
Before he can say anything before he can argue the point? Their hands curl together, pressing against flesh, bone, and vibranium. "I was trying to hurt you."
Back then. Specifically. Killing either of them would have been very easy, very simple, and would've gotten rid of many a complication over the past year or so. But that hadn't been the goal. Pain had been the goal. "How does that make me any better than-"
Than the men that put him in the chair. The men that broke Bucky just because they could.
But if he can, has, forgiven Bucky for what happened when he wasn't himself- could he accept Bucky's forgiveness of what he'd done when he wasn't in his right mind? He could argue he chose to do harm but...he might not have been entirely on an even keel at that moment. Maybe. He hates the idea of shifting blame. "If you don't blame me, who do you blame for that? Please don't say yourself, you were only trying to not die."
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It's not coming.
Before he can say anything before he can argue the point? Their hands curl together, pressing against flesh, bone, and vibranium. "I was trying to hurt you."
Back then. Specifically. Killing either of them would have been very easy, very simple, and would've gotten rid of many a complication over the past year or so. But that hadn't been the goal. Pain had been the goal. "How does that make me any better than-"
Than the men that put him in the chair. The men that broke Bucky just because they could.
But if he can, has, forgiven Bucky for what happened when he wasn't himself- could he accept Bucky's forgiveness of what he'd done when he wasn't in his right mind? He could argue he chose to do harm but...he might not have been entirely on an even keel at that moment. Maybe. He hates the idea of shifting blame. "If you don't blame me, who do you blame for that? Please don't say yourself, you were only trying to not die."