bakerstreet | Welcome to the Good Place!

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The bad news is: you're dead. Shuffled off the mortal coil. Ex-person. But you know what? That's okay! Because the Powers That Be have decided you belong in The Good Place - a non-denominational Heaven of sorts, which consists of a lovely little town that you share with other Very Good People such as yourself. Congratulations! We hope you'll enjoy your eternal stay.

P.S. To protect the sensibilities of many residents, cursing is strictly prohibited. Attempts to curse will be auto-censored with alternatives such as "fork", "shirt", etc. Thanks for your understanding!

1. Just Arrived: Putter around the neighborhood, watch an orientation video in the town square, have a frozen yogurt at one of the many frozen yogurt shops, get to know your fellow Good People. Enjoy yourself!

2. Home Sweet Home: You are provided with a lovely home created just to your architectural tastes. Time to explore it! Figure out where the silverware drawer is! Greet your neighbors!

3. Love at First Sight: Guess what comes next? Your soulmate, yay! Get to know the person you are destined to be with for eternity. Play an icebreaker game like twenty questions or just go straight to the smoochies.

4. Do You Belong Here? Sure, you're probably not perfect but you're still an okay person, right? There's no reason to think you don't belong here, unless of course you're not the person everyone thinks you are and your house is catered to someone else's terrifying clown fetish! Good luck figure out what to do now.

5. Make up your own scenario! It's basically heaven! Go nuts!

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[ i mean!!! ]

[... Someone definitely made a mistake.]

( omg yes!!! i'm up to date on good place canon in case you wanna do something based on that, but give me all the things. )

( ooc: actually probably does not belong here (or doesn't believe she does), so good luck with that! voice testing, be gentle. c: )

[ 1000% here to drive his 'soulmate' bonkers ]

[Any possible death for him is fair game. Open to crosscanon/OCs.]

[OOC: I'm not up to date, but I'm very canon familiar. Brackets or Prose. I'll match style. If you'd rather I write the starter, let me know!]

Snart sat through the little introduction to Pleasantville and tried his best not to roll his eyes right out of his head. He could tell already that he didn't belong here, if not for the creepy place he'd been 'assigned' then this introduction was enough to cement the thought in place. An infallible 'good' vs 'bad' rating scale? Right. Let him stop you right there. Maybe--and that's a strong maybe--the nature of his death was enough to tip the scale of doubt as to his proverbial 'side', but that wasn't enough to wipe out all of the bad in his life. He was a liar and a thief. He's killed and maimed. It was only recently, thanks to Barry, that he'd taken on the promise not to kill anymore at all during jobs. Then Rip Hunter and his whole save the world shtick had been the reason for his own death. Okay, not true. He'd died for his frien--for his teammates. It just happened that saving the world was a side effect.

Either way, his point still stood that, he didn't belong here. So, he did what any sensible rebellious twit would do and skilfully dodged Janet's flying lessons to locate the Headmaster of Hogwarts himself and get to the bottom of his Lisa Frank Collection house decorated in unicorns and psychedelic colours.

"This is a joke, right?" Leonard lilted smoothly when he approached Michael from behind. His hands were at his sides, his posture casual. It could be noted that his right hand seemed to miss resting on a purchase that used to be holstered on his right thigh. Yeah, thanks for not letting him have his Cold Gun.

[OOC: Sorry for the mild word-vomit. Gave some background in case you were canon blind to Snart. Also, if you prefer brackets, feel free to switch and I'll follow.]

(Absolutely belongs in the bad place. Is he going to own up to that? Help no! Gen threading only, please.)

[doesn't belong here, whoops]

[Michael or whoever has just introduced them as each other's soulmates and left them alone to bond. They're in Velvet's house currently, which looks incredibly fancy and pure and new. She hates it.

Velvet gives him another once over and says,]

No.

[And then she turns around to go off and do anything else.]

[ Well.

That went badly. ]

...Uh, Velvet, right?

[ He follows after her as she stalks through the halls, flinching as she knocks innocent lamps to the floor and and expresses her distaste for the stylish throw pillows by hurling them across the room. When they approach what looks like a kitchen, he slips past her and uses his own body in a crouched stance with open arms to block the entrance. ]

Maybe we could talk about why you're so angry? Sit down and get your feelings out!...Before you find anything sharp.

[Rich is more than a little surprised to find himself sitting here. Not about the fact that he's dead, of course. He expected that much when he grabbed the tank of gasoline, he was aiming for it... Still, he is surprised to find that the afterlife looks like this. He was definitely expecting to be thrown into a brimstone-style situation, with the crap he's pulled. He definitely wasn't a genuinely good kid, with the swearing, the SQUIP dealing, the bullying, the stealing from his dad (even if he deserved it)...

But hey, if he thinks about it, the nature of his death might have been enough to bump him up. Not that he'd... want it to, not that that was the plan. He wasn't doing the heroic sacrifice deal to be seen as an actual hero. He just wanted to make sure no one had to suffer the awful voice in his head that he did. Was saving his school really enough?

Well, he might as well ask.]

Hey, uh... about this whole point system thing... did I like, pity-pass because of the fire? Because I... I mean, if I didn't, I don't know what the fork I did right.

[He blinks once he finishes speaking. Uh, is his lisp getting so bad he can't even swear right anymore?]

((Probably a little worried that he doesn't belong here, but trying to make the best of things and maybe be half the person he wanted to be in his regular life.))

[You'll find them wandering in packs. Definitely belongs here. Doesn't understand the soulmate thing but is open to making friends.]

[What a spectacular reunion this was in the afterlife. Truly, a fitting outcome for all the times he did his opponent harm, and the plans his opponent foiled in return.

Fyodor studied his opponent over the thermos of tea he brought - he didn't expect to be granted hospitality from this one - and turned the situation over in his mind. Surely a self-proclaimed suicide maniac must be horrified that an afterlife existed, and that he was now declared the soulmate of a person he rather disliked.

For all the doubts Fyodor had on the nature of this place, he had to compliment its designer for granting him this match. There was no one else who would be able to keep up with him, and if he must spend his days in boring suburbia, it might as well be this one if he was not to be granted the company of one of his preferred former subordinates.],

Do tell me you died of old age. It's a good start, for for seeing you again in a place lacking proper entertainment.

[He absolutely doesn't belong here what the heck]

[Isn't entirely convinced he belongs here, but he's not complaining.]

[After finding himself in the afterlife - and a supposedly good version of it, no less! - seeing Fyodor almost makes sense. Still, Dazai hadn't bothered schooling his expression, or holding back an extremely blunt: "Gross, it's you..."

Still, he saw no point in avoiding Fyodor. They were stuck here, whether they liked it or not - and if they were to escape at some point (if escape was even possible), it would require both their intellects.

At least some things made sense now. If he was here with Fyodor, it certainly wasn't heaven - as expected of where Dazai would end up.]

I did not! I was attending a conference on traffic safety when a car drove into the building and killed me.

[Most definitely not true. But, even if they had eternity to play these games, Dazai wasn't giving up on them yet.]

[What. Just. What.]

( human AU or 'androids can go to the good place' verse, both welcome so feel free to choose (will default to android) - prefs in journal for the curious )

( up for androids go to heaven or human AU versions, m/m preferred for soulmate/shipping unless previously discussed )

( this is definitely a mistake. canonmates preferred unless previously discussed! )

[Sonya is good--that's what everyone says. But is being devoted to your family so virtuous as to grant her a spot in this heaven? She does not think so.]

Edited 2018-09-19 04:29 (UTC)

[Rose is the very last person who should have ended up here. Someone has made a grave (ha ha) clerical error. She wonders if taking advantage of this will put a couple more ticks down on the worth of her life.]

Edited 2018-09-19 04:26 (UTC)

[Any expressions of his supposed grossness were summarily ignored. This one had little room to judge between his habitual dips in rivers, frequently disheveled appearance, and other proclivities.

(If only Fyodor knew about the trash can incident.)]

I see. It must have been a modified vehicle with a battering ram installed. I imagine it was difficult to squeeze it through the narrow antiquated corridors.

[He didn't believe this claim, but he could play along.

There were so many permutations to be had in a constructed situation, and they had a lot of time.]

[The rivers practically count as bathing!! You can't judge him for that. (Okay, yes you can.)]

Unfortunately, it was a very modern convention center with plenty of space for a small vehicle.

[More reasons to hate modern architecture!]

At any rate, I'm surprised to see you here.

[It was pointless to ask, no doubt, so he didn't. But he might as well point out that courtesy of his.]

[She's absolutely planning on cleaning the place once she's done with her initial phase of anger. She'll angry clean and make it look way better than before.]

Why is that what you think I'll do next?

[It's a little telling what he thinks of her. Since he's blocked her from the kitchen and she can't angry cook, she turns back around and starts replacing and fluffing the pillows.]

You're not my soulmate.

["Hate." If that hypothetical scenario was real and this one truly embraced death from the bottom of his heart as he proclaimed, perhaps that vehicle would've been welcomed with a parade in its honor.

Then again, this one's pride would go against it. Being offed by a vehicle was pathetic when there were more grand or useful ways to die.]

My presence is a stain on heaven. [He made no secret that he committed evil for the sake of creating a world without the blemish of abilities. Fyodor was aware he walked the path of the damned for a worthy cause. And yet -] All the more noteworthy, is it not, that I was informed I belong here.

[To anyone else, his statement would seem like bragging - that he ended up having his cake and eating it, too. His opponent, however, might pick up on his true meaning: surely he also suspected there was something off with their current location, as far as the traditional imagining of heaven was concerned?

Dazai Osamu may have been on the path of saving lives. However, Fyodor believed his opponent would never be rid of the potential for wrongdoing when he was so very human.]

[Doesn't belong here. This is neither Hel nor Valhalla, what the heck! He's no optimist about his belonging in either of those, either, and so, if he, say, woke up in a void, he would be upset, but unsurprised, at heart.

This place, however? Loki does NOT belong here. To him, this is an insult, being here!

But he is here. So what can he do about it?]

Edited 2018-09-26 10:03 (UTC)

[It's not a painless death after all, being killed by a car! Not to mention a lonely one, unless the car had happened to kill some beautiful lady at almost the same time.

But since that wasn't really what happened anyway, it was pointless to talk details. Death was bound to be an anticlimax, but at least it was a peaceful anticlimax - or so Dazai had presumed. He wasn't sure he believed in the afterlife, but that suited him just fine.

And now this. Existing forever? That was true hell, no matter what the gift-wrapping suggested.

But then, the gift-wrapping had more issues than just that, clearly. Both Fyodor and himself were people who didn't belong in heaven by any stretch of the imagination.]

Noteworthy, indeed. [Dazai definitely agreed.] It seems that God is very generous these days~!

[That definitely applied to himself coming here as much as Fyodor - but that didn't mean he had to say as much out loud. They were still enemies, after all, and some things about Fyodor would always rub Dazai the wrong way.

The parts in which they were alike, mostly.]

I'd always sensed a connection between us, but soulmates? Who would have thought!

[Not him. Not then, and certainly not now. If more evidence was needed that this was all like a bad joke, it was that one detail.]

[All deaths are lonely, Dazai-kun. Even if someone were to accompany you to your grave, the experience of losing the self to oblivion is yours and yours alone.

In any case, that discussion was neither here or now, and unless something unusual happened his opponent was likely not inclined to mention loneliness, amongst other things, to one he considered an enemy. From his non-admission to the actual event of his death up to the non-acknowledgment of his own unworthiness in being assigned to heaven - here was one who often protected himself in obscurity.

Fyodor always thought him as one who had much to lose even as he pretended otherwise.]

Careful. It is ill-advised to question the divine.

[The smile on Fyodor's face, however, revealed the mockery in that statement: logically, the divine in its fullest was unknowable, and thus it was left to humans to designate whatever authority they trusted to interpret what values they wished to associate with holiness. Thus was religion a tool oft in danger of being used for unsightly agendas instead of the enlightenment of the soul.]

If we are bound to each other, soulmate, shall we start a game of twenty questions? [He gestured as an invitation, and it was also as if he was welcoming his opponent to the space they were in - even if it was his opponent's living area to begin with.] After all, we only know each other from our chess matches. That can't be all there is to you.

[Just a game, or A Game? Who knew when they were operating on a tinier board, and all this could amount to was idle amusement and killing time.]

[Were all deaths lonely, though? Odasaku seemed to have had a calm one, not to mention one that he himself had been able to accept. Willingly chosen, instead of caught by unpleasant surprise - wasn't that the best way to go?

And yet Dazai couldn't accept it. It hadn't been satisfying to him, which was clearly the important part. There had to be something more; some other option.

There wasn't, of course, He knew that all too well. But there still needed to be.

Oh well, he supposed it didn't matter anymore. Not to him; not when it came to his own death.]

Now, now... If the divine opposed people questioning it, I would never have ended up here.

[Which, not for the first time, begged the question of how he'd landed himself here in the first place - but no matter. They both had their doubts about this situation; they agreed on that, if nothing else.]

Of course that's how it would turn out...

[A game, it was - or even a Game. With nothing better to do, Dazai supposed he could indulge.]

Then, shall we start off with a place? [Notably this one, since they must both have their guesses. But then, there would be time for that later, whereas they might never meet each other on even ground like this again.] Though if it's getting to know each other you want, we might do better with two truths and a lie. Or perhaps "never have I ever"?

[Both of those were terrible ideas, really... but not without entertainment value.]

[Neither of them belonged in paradise. That much could be agreed upon, between themselves and those who knew them on earth.]

Regardless of what we pick now, we will go through all three at one point or another should we be here for eternity.

[So no, no preference really. Although those suggestions had notably shorter rounds, and thus possibly better options for what was technically their reintroduction in the afterlife.]

Your second option is traditionally played with alcohol. [His tone implied that his opponent should provide their drinks, seeing as it was his suggestion.] Should we not have any beverages, however, the first one is serviceable.

We will, at that...

[For the first time, Dazai felt an actual chill of dread at the thought that they would be stuck here for all eternity. Not because they'd be stuck here, specifically - not even because they'd be stuck with each other - but because he would be forced to exist forever, when he was already so done with that. It might just be the one thing he absolutely couldn't handle.

Still, that was of later concern; there was no need to despair just yet. He'd find a way to get out - and if this was anything like an actual Heaven, it would be easy, too.]

As expected of a Russian~! [That country had some serious drinking going on - but then, Japan wasn't much better (or worse, depending on how you looked at it). Dazai walked over to a cabinet. He hadn't yet studied every detail of this place, but...] If this really is Heaven, clearly there should be -...

[He swung open the cabinet door to reveal several bottles of whisky, and fancy glasses to match. The fact that the alcohol was his usual brand from the Lupin days didn't even faze him, at this point.]

My, my... As expected of Heaven.

[The sarcasm was heavy in his voice, but he grabbed a bottle and some glasses all the same. You asked for it, Fyo!]

[The prospect of eternal consciousness carried with it its own terrors. Fyodor wondered what would triumph in the end - boredom, or insanity.

He glanced at the bottle his opponent brought out. Good to know Heaven stocked what were considered impurities on Earth. As a sophist in this situation might say: in vino veritas.]

Do tell me there was vodka.

[Come to think of it, could they get drunk in the afterlife? They were about to find out in each other's presence.

Perhaps Dazai would think the opportunity to drink with Fyodor in the afterlife was better than if this had happened when they were alive. After all, the collateral damage was only limited to the two of them. On the other hand, it might be worse. With no other worthwhile distractions, there was little to distract them from digging through each other's twisted secrets.

He waited until both glasses were poured before sipping for the purposes of tasting.]

Fragrant enough.

You usually drink this on the rocks, do you not?

[In vino veritas; in whisky whimsy, perhaps. Why wine got all the credit, Dazai would never understand, but whisky had always been more to his taste. No half measures, and all that.

Clearly they should be able to get drunk. There was no other joy in drinking, so it just wouldn't be Heaven without it. They might just escape the hangovers and any other ill effects, however!]

Unfortunately, no. [Maybe he was lying. He was definitely lying about finding it unfortunate.] But perhaps if you open the cabinet?

[To each his own, and such? It seemed like a 'Heaven' thing to do.

Apart from the alcohol, of course, but Dazai was definitely not complaining. He was even relieved when he poured them both a glass, to start: the smell was definitely authentic.

Rude enough to ignore Fyodor's personal taste in alcohol; still a nice enough neighbor/soulmate/fellow sufferer to pour Fyodor a drink at all. Be grateful, now! He could have kept it all to himself. (Except then he wouldn't have dared to get drunk. Maybe he had his suicidal moments, but he wasn't stupid enough to completely impair his judgment around Fyodor, unless Fyodor was doing the same. Even the fact that they were already in the afterlife really didn't make Dazai want to let down his guard. He was determined to get out eventually, after all.)]

Depending on taste, yes. Bars will usually add ice to make the volume seem bigger, but some would say that the flavor comes out more without it.

[As for Dazai: he was lazy enough that he didn't care to add ice, himself. Not that Fyodor wasn't free to grab some. He might even find his precious vodka in the freezer, too.]

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Welcome to the Good Place!

michael / the good place

Dazai Osamu | Bungou Stray Dogs

hermione granger. | harry potter.

saber. | fate/zero

Akutagawa Jiro (The Prince of Tennis)

Eleanor | The Good Place

Simon (PL600) | Detroit: Become Human | OTA

Leonard Snart ❅ Flash/LoT

These two will hate eachother... 8D

Rhys the Company Man | Borderlands | OTA

Velvet Crowe | Tales of Berseria | OTA

for soreyinflyin

and so they were both gay bottoms

oh look it's my favourite de- super nice guy, 1-ish?

Rich Goranski | Be More Chill | OTA

Jerry | Detroit: Become Human

2 + 3, forgot to mention: let's be canon blind together

Sirius Black | Harry Potter

Archie Kennedy | Hornblower

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Lotor → Voltron → ota

north | detroit: become human

connor | detroit: become human

gavin reed | detroit: become human

Sonya Rostova | Great Comet of 1812 (War & Peace) | ota

Rose Red | Ghost Quartet | ota

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Loki Odinson | MCU | OTA

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