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a. if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
b. and for some reason every time i get drunk i just want to tell you that i have a mini secret personal fan club of your face
c. she just walked into my room, threw the plan-b at my head, and left. we really need thicker walls.
d. I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
or choose your own.
a. life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
b. apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
c. i really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. like, i'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
or choose your own.
1. wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
2. He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
3. I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
4. I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my bots. I blame you.
2. He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
3. I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
4. I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my bots. I blame you.
Tony Stark | Iron Man: Armored Adventures (future AU)
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starksolutions
2018-01-26 07:08 pm (UTC)(link)
1. What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
2. He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
3. I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
4. Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
2. He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
3. I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
4. Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
1) ✓ Seen at 16:43
2) I'm developing all these feelings. It's digusting.
3) Why am I hand-cuffed to a bed? With a note in my pocket that says: "for your own protection <3"
4) My dignity? Collapsing in on itself like a dying star
5) Please delete the message I left on your voicemail last night.
6) [ text him! ]
2) I'm developing all these feelings. It's digusting.
3) Why am I hand-cuffed to a bed? With a note in my pocket that says: "for your own protection <3"
4) My dignity? Collapsing in on itself like a dying star
5) Please delete the message I left on your voicemail last night.
6) [ text him! ]
a. I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
b. I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants..
c. i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment...
d. the men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
or choose your own.
1. "I expected better from you." Well that was your first mistake, wasn't it, and I've got nothing to do with that.
2. I'm bleeding from my lower lip and I have bruises around my neck. It was easier to say I came from a fight.
3. I suppose I owe you an apology for breaking your nose during sex.
4. We got drunk and threw swords through his windshield. He's certainly not pleased.
5. I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
6. [Text him!]
2. I'm bleeding from my lower lip and I have bruises around my neck. It was easier to say I came from a fight.
3. I suppose I owe you an apology for breaking your nose during sex.
4. We got drunk and threw swords through his windshield. He's certainly not pleased.
5. I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
6. [Text him!]
Edited 2018-01-26 19:12 (UTC)
1. I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
2. Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal your girlfriend, end scene.
3. One of these days I'm going to roll my eyes too hard and I'm going to go blind.
4. Text her.
a. i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
b. he just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
c. I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
d. I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
or choose your own. also i’m voice testing with only having seen legends of tomorrow s1. please forgive.
1. What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
2. I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
3. There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
4. I can't see straight, his clothes are all over my floor, and I'm covered in bite marks. No, I will not go to brunch with you.
Or text her!
1. The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch.
2. The moral of the story is that you don't use real knives for knifeplay after a bottle of vodka, but who's to tell me how to life my life?
3. We were kicked out after I threatened to disembowel the bartender.
4. I’m developing feelings and it’s disgusting.
5. ( text her )
2. The moral of the story is that you don't use real knives for knifeplay after a bottle of vodka, but who's to tell me how to life my life?
3. We were kicked out after I threatened to disembowel the bartender.
4. I’m developing feelings and it’s disgusting.
5. ( text her )
Wednesday Addams | Addams Family/Adult Wednesday Addams
outofthemanor
2018-01-26 07:12 pm (UTC)(link)
1. All boys are excommunicated until further notice.
2. For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
3. Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
4. [text her]
2. For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
3. Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
4. [text her]
01. I woke up this morning with my pants as a scarf, my shirt as a skirt, [CHARACTER]'s name in my phone as "human sacrifice", and yours as "I like eggs..." What happened last night???
02. If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. Also who came up with the idea is shaving their legs?
03. There's bread in your mailbox. Can we eat it?
Never mind, it's newspaper. (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)
04. He let me eat chexmix whole we had sex...I think I'm in love!
02. If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. Also who came up with the idea is shaving their legs?
03. There's bread in your mailbox. Can we eat it?
Never mind, it's newspaper. (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)
04. He let me eat chexmix whole we had sex...I think I'm in love!
1. she walked through HQ with my shirt on and a grin on her face. i don't think she could have been more obvious
2. why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
3. you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
4. so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
5. i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from HQ
2. why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
3. you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
4. so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
5. i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from HQ
01. I fantasize about her naked in a burger bun.
02. It's all fun and games until someone burns in the fires of hell.
03. Next person who asks if the horns are glued on gets trampled.
02. It's all fun and games until someone burns in the fires of hell.
03. Next person who asks if the horns are glued on gets trampled.
1. obviously last night's theme was 'let's make bad life choices'
2. i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
3. i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
4. that wildcard option aka text him
1. I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
2. Right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night.
3. What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
4. Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
5. Text him!
2. Right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night.
3. What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
4. Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
5. Text him!
1. She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
2. i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
3. All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
4. Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
5. Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
2. i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
3. All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
4. Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
5. Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Edited 2018-01-26 19:13 (UTC)
1. Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night, I was actually just checking you had a pulse.
2. I’m content with our “friends with accidental benefits” situation.
3. What happened last night? I’m too scared to get out of bed to survey the destruction.
4. I’m dying of laughter, but I’m also just dying. Send help.
5. [Text her! Misfires welcome!]
2. I’m content with our “friends with accidental benefits” situation.
3. What happened last night? I’m too scared to get out of bed to survey the destruction.
4. I’m dying of laughter, but I’m also just dying. Send help.
5. [Text her! Misfires welcome!]
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