toastysocks (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
toastysocks) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
bakerstreet2017-10-13 01:48 pm
toastysocks) wrote in bakerstreet2017-10-13 01:48 pm
Entry tags:
1. The fog machine set off the whole complex's fire alarm.
2. You just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you.
3. My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
4. I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it?
5. TEXT HER
2. You just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you.
3. My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
4. I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it?
5. TEXT HER
1) I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEFINITELY TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
2) Last night you were pretending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
3) I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
4) Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
5) Wildcard, text him!
2) Last night you were pretending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
3) I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
4) Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
5) Wildcard, text him!
1: Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
2: people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of corellian rum.
3: That is without a doubt a gold-medal-deserving sext. You wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed.
4: my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
5: Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
6: [bring your own text]
2: people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of corellian rum.
3: That is without a doubt a gold-medal-deserving sext. You wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed.
4: my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
5: Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
6: [bring your own text]
1: Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
2: Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
3: Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
4: I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't die"
5: are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
6: [bring your own text]
2: Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
3: Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
4: I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't die"
5: are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
6: [bring your own text]
1. How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
2. I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
3. I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
4. Text him!
2. I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
3. I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
4. Text him!
1. I like that he makes me laugh. Those are two of my favourite things. Laughing and fucking.
2. Are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. You have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
3. Sorry if that was awkward, I will never call you sober ever again.
4. Text her!
2. Are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. You have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
3. Sorry if that was awkward, I will never call you sober ever again.
4. Text her!
1. I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
2. Give it up, bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only and act of god could change that
3. You were so high you asked for half a double stack and half a crispy chicken sandwich “welded together” at the Wendy’s drive through
4. There is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
5. Text her!
2. Give it up, bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only and act of god could change that
3. You were so high you asked for half a double stack and half a crispy chicken sandwich “welded together” at the Wendy’s drive through
4. There is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
5. Text her!
1; I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it.
2; TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
3; It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
2; TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
3; It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
a. I just found human teeth in my pocket. Yours?
b. She thought I was wearing a broach. I showed her it was a real spider. Why did THAT suddenly make it a problem?
c. If you're not in pain, you're not having enough fun.
d. He sewed my stitches, right there in bed. It was immensely romantic.
e. [ text him ]
b. She thought I was wearing a broach. I showed her it was a real spider. Why did THAT suddenly make it a problem?
c. If you're not in pain, you're not having enough fun.
d. He sewed my stitches, right there in bed. It was immensely romantic.
e. [ text him ]
one ) You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?"
two ) In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
three ) I'm texting you now although you won't get this until you wake up. The only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
two ) In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
three ) I'm texting you now although you won't get this until you wake up. The only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
a. I started crying in Target. THAT bad.
b. Committed some mild psychological warfare by making someone believe I put a curse on them. In my defense, they asked if I was a witch, so this was technically their idea.
c. Kind of just hoping I peak at 19 like Joan of Arc. Trial for heresy, burned at the stake, everything.
d. All I said was "Bauhaus is okay I guess" and now I'm banned from the youth goth group. I hate trad goth elitists so much.
e. [ text her ]
b. Committed some mild psychological warfare by making someone believe I put a curse on them. In my defense, they asked if I was a witch, so this was technically their idea.
c. Kind of just hoping I peak at 19 like Joan of Arc. Trial for heresy, burned at the stake, everything.
d. All I said was "Bauhaus is okay I guess" and now I'm banned from the youth goth group. I hate trad goth elitists so much.
e. [ text her ]
1. You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
2. I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best
3. i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
4. I think someone is dead in a car across the street
5. You ruined the universe
6. [text her]
2. I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best
3. i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
4. I think someone is dead in a car across the street
5. You ruined the universe
6. [text her]
1. You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervene.
2. He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
3. My nurturing instincts told me to take your clothes off.
4. Text her!
2. He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
3. My nurturing instincts told me to take your clothes off.
4. Text her!
1. He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
2. How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
3. You're aware she lit herself on fire, right?
4. The guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
5. Text/misfire him!
((Okay with spoilers!))
2. How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
3. You're aware she lit herself on fire, right?
4. The guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
5. Text/misfire him!
((Okay with spoilers!))
Edited 2017-10-13 19:03 (UTC)
1. Are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things.
2. I love how you said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex.
3. There is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
2. I love how you said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex.
3. There is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
01. You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervene.
02. I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. The only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
03. It was horribly awesome. It's like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
04. Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
05. Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
06. I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
02. I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. The only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
03. It was horribly awesome. It's like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
04. Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
05. Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
06. I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
1. Actually one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. According to her mother she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
2. Vodka?
3. It's difficult to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world" and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
4. Sending me a thank you card for letting you sleep with my sister was completely inappropriate.
5. text him!
2. Vodka?
3. It's difficult to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world" and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
4. Sending me a thank you card for letting you sleep with my sister was completely inappropriate.
5. text him!
a. The guy in front of me just bought a blowtorch, duct tape, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
b. There's partying and then there's whatever we did last night.
c. Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
d. I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
e. [ text him! ]
b. There's partying and then there's whatever we did last night.
c. Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
d. I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
e. [ text him! ]
a. Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
b. The only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window
c. If someone dropped birth control pill in hot bowl of soup and it is possibly disintegrated would it still be just as useful?? Just asking for curiosity
d. Are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
e. [ text her! ]
b. The only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window
c. If someone dropped birth control pill in hot bowl of soup and it is possibly disintegrated would it still be just as useful?? Just asking for curiosity
d. Are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
e. [ text her! ]
The last thing I remember is trying to split my maid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though.
1. Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen.
2. I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover.
3. Sorry if that was awkward, I will never call you sober ever again.
4. Text him!
2. I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover.
3. Sorry if that was awkward, I will never call you sober ever again.
4. Text him!
1. My to-do list is telling me to move, but my sofa is telling me to watch more Netflix. The struggle is felt this day.
2. Just found another of your shirts here; do you actually have any clothes left at yours or should I just invest in another wardrobe..?
3. There’s a couple with a baby in line in front of me, and the kid only stops crying when I smile and pull faces at her. This is a long line and a lot of responsibility; my face can only do so much before she realises I’m not actually a muppet and starts screaming louder.
4. Reading on the sofa during a raging thunderstorm is all well and good until you remember the amount of fresh laundry still hanging outside.
5. You sent me a list of reasons at 2am why you’d be fantastic marriage material, followed by this, and several dozen question marks. I’m not sure if they’re linked or if the picture counts as a reason, but I’m…I’m so confused.
6. Text him!
2. Just found another of your shirts here; do you actually have any clothes left at yours or should I just invest in another wardrobe..?
3. There’s a couple with a baby in line in front of me, and the kid only stops crying when I smile and pull faces at her. This is a long line and a lot of responsibility; my face can only do so much before she realises I’m not actually a muppet and starts screaming louder.
4. Reading on the sofa during a raging thunderstorm is all well and good until you remember the amount of fresh laundry still hanging outside.
5. You sent me a list of reasons at 2am why you’d be fantastic marriage material, followed by this, and several dozen question marks. I’m not sure if they’re linked or if the picture counts as a reason, but I’m…I’m so confused.
6. Text him!
1) Date with the Freelancer was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk them into fucking me in a Pelican at 30,000 ft.
2) Are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. You have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
3) Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a shirt and only an act of god could change that.
4) Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
2) Are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. You have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
3) Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a shirt and only an act of god could change that.
4) Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
1) I have only been in this city three nights, and there are already four bars I can never go back to again.
2) You made a powerpoint titled "Things I've Drank Tonight" and emailed it to me.
3) Join me. I'm on the roof having breakfast.
4) text her!
2) You made a powerpoint titled "Things I've Drank Tonight" and emailed it to me.
3) Join me. I'm on the roof having breakfast.
4) text her!
1) You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervene.
2) I'm texting you now although you won't get this until you wake up: the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
3) Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
4) Have you ever seen death before? Because it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
5) Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
2) I'm texting you now although you won't get this until you wake up: the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
3) Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
4) Have you ever seen death before? Because it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
5) Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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