sockies (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sockies) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
bakerstreet2017-07-07 02:15 am
sockies) wrote in bakerstreet2017-07-07 02:15 am
Entry tags:
1. New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
2. Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
3. Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right
4. I had them introduce themselves in class. This kid stood up, said I'm Mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down.
2. Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
3. Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right
4. I had them introduce themselves in class. This kid stood up, said I'm Mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down.
1. jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
2. funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
3. Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
2. funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
3. Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
1. You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra. You claimed to be helping.
2. Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
3. the cops high fived after they tackled you
4. No, we were too stoned to stop you from wiping peanut butter all over the car
5. Text her!
2. Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
3. the cops high fived after they tackled you
4. No, we were too stoned to stop you from wiping peanut butter all over the car
5. Text her!
1. You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
2. I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
3. The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite.
4. I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
5. TEXT HER
2. I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
3. The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite.
4. I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
5. TEXT HER
1. You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
2. You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for a medic.
3. idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
4. [text her!]
2. You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for a medic.
3. idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
4. [text her!]
Edited 2017-07-07 06:33 (UTC)
1. seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
2. Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
3. He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
4. Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
2. Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
3. He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
4. Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
1. idk what happened last night but i just woke up with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
2. Bring a helmet for your liver
3. Your mankini haunted my dreams.
4. CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
5. Text him!
2. Bring a helmet for your liver
3. Your mankini haunted my dreams.
4. CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
5. Text him!
1. sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
2. They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
3. Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
4. I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face.
2. They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
3. Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
4. I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face.
1. This city is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
2. Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
3. as a side note pls kill me
4. [text her!]
2. Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
3. as a side note pls kill me
4. [text her!]
1. I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see into classrooms!
2. Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
3. Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
4. I wish I could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But I dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
5. ( voicetesting, homecoming spoilers are a-ok! )
2. Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
3. Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
4. I wish I could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But I dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
5. ( voicetesting, homecoming spoilers are a-ok! )
1. On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
2. K's arm is stuck between a wall and his bed. He's naked and needs someone to go help him.
3. Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
4. It's like god made you fantastic at head to make up for what your mouth does the rest of the time.
2. K's arm is stuck between a wall and his bed. He's naked and needs someone to go help him.
3. Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
4. It's like god made you fantastic at head to make up for what your mouth does the rest of the time.
1. we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
2. You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
3. Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
4. Text her!
2. You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
3. Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
4. Text her!
1. After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
2. Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
3. I should have known when he said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital.
4. Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
2. Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
3. I should have known when he said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital.
4. Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
1. Yeah... I noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
2. I think I sprained my wrist. But his nose is definitively broken.
3. Quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you.
4. Or text him.
2. I think I sprained my wrist. But his nose is definitively broken.
3. Quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you.
4. Or text him.
1. Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
2. He just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
3. I just recorded Robb puking and set it as his ringtone. He's in for a pleasant surprise in the morning.
4. Can we have fireworks this year, or will the ocean explode?
2. He just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
3. I just recorded Robb puking and set it as his ringtone. He's in for a pleasant surprise in the morning.
4. Can we have fireworks this year, or will the ocean explode?
1. I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears.
2. For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
3. There may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check.
2. For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
3. There may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check.
1. He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
2. I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
3. Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
4. She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
5. TEXT HIM
2. I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
3. Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
4. She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
5. TEXT HIM
01. Yeahhh, apparently my brother think it's okay not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me because I "like those weirdo types".
02. I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
03. But I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got.
04. The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when I went drunk running later that night.
05. Text her!
( 1. ) Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
( 2. ) Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
( 3. ) Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point.
( 4. ) [ Text him! ]
1. So we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. Some people might like unexpected change. Others might regret living on the ground floor.
2. I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
3. You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
4. You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs...
2. I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
3. You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
4. You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs...
1. She came out of the bathroom listening to her walkman and crying. Then she started screaming 'She will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well.
2. I forgot wine drunk hurts.
3. I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
4. Fortunately, we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunately, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
5. [you know the drill.]
2. I forgot wine drunk hurts.
3. I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
4. Fortunately, we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunately, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
5. [you know the drill.]
1. You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
2. I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
3. Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
4. Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
2. I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
3. Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
4. Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
( 1. ) I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
( 2. ) I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
( 3. ) I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
( 4. ) I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
( 5. ) [ Text him ]
1. Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
2. I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
3. Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
4. [text her!]
2. I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
3. Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
4. [text her!]
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