"It wasn't harsh." True sure, and the truth always seemed to hurt for him but there had been worse, there always was, and definitely from people who didn't seem to have his best interests in mind like Steve seemed to... for whatever reason. And Loki wasn't upset over it, not with Steve and certainly not enough to want to pull away, especially not with the soothing quality the man's presence offered, that light, reassuring touch different than the harsh handling earlier in the evening in a way he hadn't realized he needed until here and now.

"...If I am broken maybe I won't-"

Become him.

Not something he'd even thought about in relation to his proclivities but could that explain it, this sudden drive to find the most brutal partners available? He'd excused it to himself before as just an extension of his desire to test boundaries, that you didn't know how hard you were pushing, how fast you were going without resistance, a wall to hit. But at the same time that never rang true. It wouldn't be the first time his sense of guilt led him to disaster. With a quiet huff he just shook his head, dismissing what he'd been saying with a small frown.

"I'm not even sure what I'm looking for out of it anymore." Muttered as a sort of quiet agreement, as Loki simply tilted his head to rest against Steve's chest, soaking up the warmth of him, the solid reassurance his presence offered. He felt okay admitting that much at least. And it was true. He'd known before exactly what he wanted, what he needed. But nowadays, like everything else in his life, Loki was... uncertain about his wants and needs, which didn't help matters. Just left him floundering, escalating in some reckless attempt to find his footing again.