[ fuck. this whole thing is so out of control. finch never should have come here, never should have let egil see him like this. and yet.. he feels weirdly safe here, and he knows egil by now. knows him well enough, at least, to know that he means finch nothing but good. knows he's honestly too good for finch, and the incubus shouldn't drag him down the way he's been doing since they met.

the desire in the air's dissipated, leaving something that tastes like sadness, like hurt. he doesn't know how to fix it, either, only he hates to see it, hates to taste it in the air. his chest feels too tight, frightened, full of some emotion he's not sure he can name. he.. kind of just wants to hold egil, feel him alive and content against him, the way he is after finch has worn him into happy exhaustion.

he catches the other man's wrist before he can leave, then reaches up with both hands to cup his face. ]

.. I-- [ his lips part, then press thin as he struggles to find both breath and courage. at last, a little shakily: ] It's okay, y'know? I'm-- I never thought I'd even-- I mean.. shit, I suck at this, but if I was a normal guy, I'd.. [ his fingers sift gently into egil's hair, a lover's caress, then slide away again. ] I'd like.. to be better for you. I like pleasing you. I've never met anyone I wanted t' come back to like this. [ he takes a breath as if to say something more, then simply shakes his head. ] That's-- [ he makes a lame gesture toward the shower, turning toward it. ] I'll be out in a few minutes, I guess.