[Although it may seem impossible for him to become any more tense than he already is, he does when hands relocate to the sides of his arms, not immediately understanding, expecting him to shake him again. It's not as if Miyuki's irritation, even if not full blown, was hidden from him. A demand for explanation alone is almost wearing. Claude's never asked him, only coddled; found covert ways, some of the time, to make it worse so he could establish himself as the child's sole source of comfort. In fact, though this is unknown to Alois himself, Claude's worsened him than his history alone, planting nightmares to make his neediness and dependency grow. Who else is he going to call out for in a house as big as that all alone?
But no shaking follows. He's trying to reassure him, and damp-eyed thing does peek up at him to see his glowing confidence. He doesn't feel wholly comforted, not that this is Miyuki's responsibility, but he knows he's not able, even in much less stressful settings, to sometimes stop the crushing thing that lives inside him from yanking the sobs out, inexplicable to even himself. Fits, because sometimes the act of being, existing, alone is too much for him. If he hasn't yet, he's bound to burn up Miyuki's patience.
Alois does not have enough experience with people to be able to tell that what Miyuki presents might not be the truth—he believes what he's showing him, in other words, and may feel a little pang of jealousy at the idea that Miyuki's strong enough to be impervious to ruin. Or if he isn't, then that he has enough confidence to probably not end up irrevocably damaged. With wrist pressed against his mouth, already in the middle of attempting control of his respiration he does gaze at him with his pinkened and water-logged eyes, and a kind of uneasy admiration.
He doesn't say anything yet. Not in reply before the pat, or after. Crying with all of yourself is tiring, and it's not exactly as if he feels completely better about the prospect of Miyuki suffering a fate like his, but he was able to answer. This alone feels like a scaled mountain, and he hasn't it in him to do anything but collect himself for a few moments longer. He's really the worst kind of child: causing Miyuki to think he ought to comfort him when it was Miyuki who was in such a compromising state. The guilt stays. He's a sniffling, deep-breath-taking, unmoving, and unfocused shadow of a child for a bit longer, until finally he's quietened.
It takes him much longer to finally look up at the monitor, and he guesses he should feel surprised, but again, all that weeping has subdued him for a little while from any urgent emotions.]
It means girls', doesn't it? [he asks where wall meets floor beneath the screen. He's worn girls' undergarments before, but they're also much longer. The length of this skirt would be enough to cover them, but after what Miyuki's shown him to be mens' underpants, he's sure they won't find anything like that.
Miyuki must think him so repulsive and strange, like he was anticipating this, or something.]
If I knew, I wouldn't have agreed, okay? [Please, understand.] I was just trying to tease you a bit.
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But no shaking follows. He's trying to reassure him, and damp-eyed thing does peek up at him to see his glowing confidence. He doesn't feel wholly comforted, not that this is Miyuki's responsibility, but he knows he's not able, even in much less stressful settings, to sometimes stop the crushing thing that lives inside him from yanking the sobs out, inexplicable to even himself. Fits, because sometimes the act of being, existing, alone is too much for him. If he hasn't yet, he's bound to burn up Miyuki's patience.
Alois does not have enough experience with people to be able to tell that what Miyuki presents might not be the truth—he believes what he's showing him, in other words, and may feel a little pang of jealousy at the idea that Miyuki's strong enough to be impervious to ruin. Or if he isn't, then that he has enough confidence to probably not end up irrevocably damaged. With wrist pressed against his mouth, already in the middle of attempting control of his respiration he does gaze at him with his pinkened and water-logged eyes, and a kind of uneasy admiration.
He doesn't say anything yet. Not in reply before the pat, or after. Crying with all of yourself is tiring, and it's not exactly as if he feels completely better about the prospect of Miyuki suffering a fate like his, but he was able to answer. This alone feels like a scaled mountain, and he hasn't it in him to do anything but collect himself for a few moments longer. He's really the worst kind of child: causing Miyuki to think he ought to comfort him when it was Miyuki who was in such a compromising state. The guilt stays. He's a sniffling, deep-breath-taking, unmoving, and unfocused shadow of a child for a bit longer, until finally he's quietened.
It takes him much longer to finally look up at the monitor, and he guesses he should feel surprised, but again, all that weeping has subdued him for a little while from any urgent emotions.]
It means girls', doesn't it? [he asks where wall meets floor beneath the screen. He's worn girls' undergarments before, but they're also much longer. The length of this skirt would be enough to cover them, but after what Miyuki's shown him to be mens' underpants, he's sure they won't find anything like that.
Miyuki must think him so repulsive and strange, like he was anticipating this, or something.]
If I knew, I wouldn't have agreed, okay? [Please, understand.] I was just trying to tease you a bit.