[He recognizes what her right hand is being offered to him for. At least, he thinks he does. But his shoulders twitch inward a little all the same at it and he doesn't extend his own hand in respond. He's - learned to loathe touch against his skin and not even reciprocal kindness can force him past that barrier for the moment.
She's asking him to hurt her.
He's surprised to find that he doesn't want to. No. He never wants to hurt people. That's not what surprises him. He's surprised to find that his desire to avoid hurting her is so strong. He swallows, feels sandpaper in his throat. Realizes he's rapidly getting in over his head - but that's what freedom is. Having to manage your own decisions instead of having others manage them for you. He exhales and forces down the burst of sheer panic. She's still talking and it helps - even if what she's talking about doesn't help at all. He's already shaking his head before she finishes and his shoulders curl even more inward.]
No. [She's royalty, probably raised in the truth that royalty is the sacrifice for their people. Probably grew up as a child well aware that her needs came somewhere far behind everyone else's just due to birth, that she was a tool, a vessel, something not birthed so much as created for the sole purpose of serving the greater good. Shiro's own beliefs in regards to himself aren't that far off. But - he wasn't born into nobility. And his view of a child of his own is vastly different.] I won't sacrifice a child. I won't bring someone into this hellhole of a universe.
[Shiro has always been able to see the big picture - but his loyalty has always been to a small, core group. And while he will do everything he can to help the big picture - at the wire, his loyalty will always be to what is close and precious most to him. To the people that rely on him personally. It's been a very long time since he's had either - but he isn't going to change.] It would take you a great deal of time and effort to break me enough to have me willing to simply let that kind of thing happen. It would take a great deal longer if you broke me enough to actually have me willing.
[Shiro would love to believe he could hold out forever against torture, that there are some things he would never do no matter how broken he was... but he also knows that the human mind can only endure so much before it starts to rationalize and, given enough torture and horror, sleeping with a woman just to make it stop, even to create a child he knew was going into the Galra maw, would seem a great deal easier to simply give in to. But it would take months and much more vicious methods than he thought the woman in front of him would ever be capable of imagining, much less using on him.] I can play along. I can tell you how to do what would bend me fastest for show. But I won't intentionally help create a child to give to the Galra. How much longer do you need before your plan is ready? I can possibly buy you some months but nothing I do is going to buy you years.
[A pause, and, for the first time, unaware of it himself, he has someone other than himself that he's including in his small circle of personal protection. Because he adds softer:] If your plan goes wrong, if you need to run, it will be much easier to do if you're not pregnant.
no subject
She's asking him to hurt her.
He's surprised to find that he doesn't want to. No. He never wants to hurt people. That's not what surprises him. He's surprised to find that his desire to avoid hurting her is so strong. He swallows, feels sandpaper in his throat. Realizes he's rapidly getting in over his head - but that's what freedom is. Having to manage your own decisions instead of having others manage them for you. He exhales and forces down the burst of sheer panic. She's still talking and it helps - even if what she's talking about doesn't help at all. He's already shaking his head before she finishes and his shoulders curl even more inward.]
No. [She's royalty, probably raised in the truth that royalty is the sacrifice for their people. Probably grew up as a child well aware that her needs came somewhere far behind everyone else's just due to birth, that she was a tool, a vessel, something not birthed so much as created for the sole purpose of serving the greater good. Shiro's own beliefs in regards to himself aren't that far off. But - he wasn't born into nobility. And his view of a child of his own is vastly different.] I won't sacrifice a child. I won't bring someone into this hellhole of a universe.
[Shiro has always been able to see the big picture - but his loyalty has always been to a small, core group. And while he will do everything he can to help the big picture - at the wire, his loyalty will always be to what is close and precious most to him. To the people that rely on him personally. It's been a very long time since he's had either - but he isn't going to change.] It would take you a great deal of time and effort to break me enough to have me willing to simply let that kind of thing happen. It would take a great deal longer if you broke me enough to actually have me willing.
[Shiro would love to believe he could hold out forever against torture, that there are some things he would never do no matter how broken he was... but he also knows that the human mind can only endure so much before it starts to rationalize and, given enough torture and horror, sleeping with a woman just to make it stop, even to create a child he knew was going into the Galra maw, would seem a great deal easier to simply give in to. But it would take months and much more vicious methods than he thought the woman in front of him would ever be capable of imagining, much less using on him.] I can play along. I can tell you how to do what would bend me fastest for show. But I won't intentionally help create a child to give to the Galra. How much longer do you need before your plan is ready? I can possibly buy you some months but nothing I do is going to buy you years.
[A pause, and, for the first time, unaware of it himself, he has someone other than himself that he's including in his small circle of personal protection. Because he adds softer:] If your plan goes wrong, if you need to run, it will be much easier to do if you're not pregnant.