bakerstreet | —subtle.

[no under 18, cross-canon/medium welcome as well. In this for the bitter-sweet, never-can-be-and-they-both-realize-it feels. AU ideas completely welcome, just ask if you've got any questions]

Felicity had thought the matter was settled and that finally, oh dear god finally, she'd found the truth about how she'd felt. After what happened at the hospital, and then when they'd said goodbye to Roy, she knew that asking Ray for his jet was probably be the last favor she'd ever be able to ask of him.

And then there was that look on his face when Ray realized that she and Oliver were going to fly away together. It didn't matter if it wasn't in that way, she could still exactly the way it hurt him reflected in his eyes. And then Ray told her that she was in love with Oliver, just like her mother did the day before, and she let herself believe both of them. Standing there in his office, staring into his beautiful, puppy dog eyes, she apologized for hurting him and she left.

But on the way out, her heart felt so heavy that it nearly paralyzed her. Tears streamed down her eyes as she fought to move forward. Thea was dying and they needed to go to Nanda Parbat.

It was right before they were going to board the plane when she grabbed Oliver by the arm and begged him not to go. When he refused, she walked over to Dig and in whispers, asked him to take care of Oliver. And then Felicity walked right off the airfield. It felt like she'd ripped her own heart out.

She'd spent the rest of that night at home, crying on her mom's shoulder, a complete mess.

"My genius girl. Was I wrong at the hospital yesterday?" "I don't know mom. I don't know anything anymore."

By the time it was morning, she wasn't anywhere near being less of a mess. But as she laid in her bed, her mom asleep next to her, Felicity did realize one thing. More than anything else, she wanted to see Ray. Quietly, she took a shower, brushed her hair, and picked out the same dress she wore when she'd accepted her first job at Palmer Technologies.

She'd been so nervous in the car as it pulled up to the office, even more so on the elevator ride up. Felicity didn't even know what she planned to say, or why it was that she wanted to see him. All she knew was that she was drowning, and he was the only thing that felt like oxygen.

So when she let herself into his office, she hoped to god that he was here.

"Ray?" Her voice was just above a whisper.

It had hurt letting Felicity walk away. For the first time since Anna had died he'd felt whole again and like the world was full of possibility. Then he'd watched Oliver and Felicity together and well he'd seen the truth. Ray Palmer wasn't stupid, he understood that you couldn't make someone love you if they didn't. Still making Felicity face the truth had torn him in half and part of him regretted what he'd said. He did love her and he wanted nothing more then to beg her to come back and stay with him, to see what they could create together.

He'd done the next best thing though, he'd given her his company. If anything happened to him he knew she would make Palmer Tech into the next Apple. And it would give Oliver someone to lean on. He doubted Oliver had any plans on working to pay the bills and he wanted Felicity to feel comfortable with that. He currently sat tinkering with the ATOM suit when he heard her whisper his name. "Felicity," he whispered back as he spun around looking worried.

"Is everything okay.....was the jet not ready? No one is hurt are they?" Now who was babbling?

As soon as she saw his face, and the way that despite everything, he was still concerned for her safety, Felicity felt the tears welling up in her eyes.

She took one step forward, shaking her head to try and answer her questions because suddenly, there was a lump in her throat. She tried to smile a couple times, but her expression inevitably always changed to sadness.

"I'm sorry Ray. I'm so sorry." The words had to be choked out between held-back sobs. All she wanted was to see him, and now that she had, she didn't know what to do.

Ray stood up and walked over to wrap his arms around Felicity. It was wounding his already wounded heart to see her crying and he wanted nothing more than to make it better. "Sorry about what," he asks trying not to hope that she was talking about them, "you have nothing to be sorry about, please don't cry."

When she felt his arms around her, she hugged him back fiercely, smothering her face into his shirt. When she was with Ray, when he held her like this, she felt safe and trusted and loved.

"I'm sorry" -sniff- "that I'm ruining your shirt."

A week ago, he'd said something that really stuck with her. Every day since they started working together, he's been nothing but honest and open with her. He wanted a partner on their missions, but also in life. She'd hadn't realized it then, because Oliver had her convinced that that type of partnership could never be possible.

"I let Dig take the jet with Oliver" -another sob- "Please don't be mad. What they're doing right now is very important but-" She looks up at him, her cheek resting on his chest. "-I didn't get on the jet with them. I couldn't."

Ray was completely confused and yet hopeful at the same time. "Felicity....you aren't making sense," he said quietly, "why didn't you get on that yet. Oliver needs you....." He feels that tiny spark of maybe grow. "Please tell me what you are thinking right now. I need to know."

There's another sob or two that she has to forcibly work through before she's calmed down enough to speak normally.

"Oliver doesn't need me." Her fingers hold on just a little more tightly to him as she said those words. "And I couldn't get on the jet because I couldn't leave you. I was too stupid. I was so stupid that I let everyone convince me otherwise."

The next few words came so naturally that Felicity knew in her heart that she had made the right choice.

"I love you Ray Palmer."

Ray can't processes what is happening right now. Just yesterday he was letting Felicity go believing she was heading to be with the man who she loved more than him. He pulls back and slides his hand under her chin to make her look at him "Felicity...I need to know if you meant what you just said. My heart can't take any more of being played with and once you say yes I'm in this for the long haul. Are you?"

When he moves her chin up, her eyes are looking between his, vulnerable and hopeful that he'll take her back. And then he asks if she means it, and tells her that if she does, he's in it for the long haul.

"I won't deny that I have loved Oliver. He means a lot to me, and he'll probably always be a part of my life. But Ray Palmer." Her lips gently curl into a little smile as her arm untucks itself from his body and her hand reaches up for his face.

"I love you. I choose you. I want to be your partner in missions and in life. And please don't ever tell me to leave you, ever again."

Ray swallows hard and leans down to press a sweet slow kiss to Felicity's mouth. "That's all I've ever wanted," he mutters, "I never thought I could be this happy ever again and yet here we are. I promise I'm never going to ask you to leave without me ever again."

Her eyes close and Felicity tunes out the entire world, letting herself become entirely wrapped up in his kiss. "Good," she mutters back. "And I promise to always be open and honest with you. About everything."

A few wipes from her fingers clear the dried tears from her face. When she opens her eyes again, she's laughs. "Including the fact that I've just turned your shirt into a handkerchief."

He laughs. "I never liked this shirt anyway too scratchy," he jokes, "besides those are happy tears now and that's all I care about." He pulls back. "now lets go save Oliver okay. I don't want you to lose your best friend."

She laughs, for the first time in what feels like forever.

"Okay. But Dig already took the jet." She gave him a small, suspicious look. "Unless you have a second jet." In the moment, it didn't even occur to her that Ray could suit up and potentially carry her to Nanda Parbat. Cisco did help him solve that power issue after all.

"I may have made an extra helmet for the suit that would fit you," Ray admits, "if I suited up now we would still be able to make it to help, but we would have to leave now to make it in time. So what do you say? Want to go be heroes?"

She smiles at him and just nods yes.

All this time, one of her arms has been holding onto Ray for dear life, worried that maybe somehow, she'll lose him again. But now they needed to think of something other than themselves. When she lets go, she gives him a final squeeze before being led off to wherever he kept the suits.

Ray is trying not to bounce into the sky like a balloon right now. Five minutes ago he felt like the world was ending, but now he had everything he could have ever hoped for and then some. He beams as he leads her to the vault and reveals that well when he said helmet he meant he made another suit, one tailored to a female body shape and weight. "I may have been inspired," he says slightly embarrassed as he shows it off. "You can change the colors if you want....I just was assuming....and hoping."

It was scary wasn't it? How much one person could change your life. How much one person could elevate you to your own zenith when you were sprawled across your nadir.

"No, Ray, it's perfect." The colors matched his suit and it couldn't be more perfect. "I can't believe you've been building this." She walked around the second suit, admiring it and then coming back to kiss him.

"Let's suit up."

Ray beams and walks over to press a button so that the suits, which are on an automated track come over and snap open. "Step in and the suit should close right around you," he says, "then give it a second to calibrate the computer system.

His arrival to this Earth was an unsettling one. The singularity had rent holes in the multiverse and it was through one of those tears Harrison Wells had fallen.

Cisco insisted on calling him "Harry", deciding that while he might not be evil, he's still a dick and frankly, Wells doesn't care. He needs their help to get home.

But days have become weeks and Harry had found himself a part of the team as they work to stop metahumans and villains intent on destroying the city and its protector. Barry Allen. The one member of the team who had never looked at him like he was a killer, never did less than believe in him. So Harry tried for him. Tried to be better for him.

He shouldn't desire the young man. Shouldn't admire him the way that he does. So he works in the lab, improves equipment, bickers with Cisco and lets his eyes track Barry as he moves.

( Barry didn't know Harrison Wells at all. His image was tainted by Eobard Thawne for so long, it was hard to separate what he already knew to what was reality. And it had taken awhile for him to accept the other. Though he never said it, he was definately thinking about all the horrible things that version of the doctor had done. But he berated himself time and time again. That wasn't him, we really shouldn't judge him too harshly. But Barry was also hurt. Eobard had hurt him in ways he never could have imagined. Most of them being how easily the other would speak sentimental words. I look at my future and all I see is you. And I may not care a lot about people but one thing I do .. is you. Barry had grown too attached to the evil wells. And even though he doesn't show it, it had ruined more than just his pride. There's a part of his heart that's gone now. What part that actually is, only time will reveal.

What he had come to know of the other was just one big ugly lie. The only reason why he was so special was because wells only wanted one thing. To use and abuse him. Lately his emotions have been out of wak and when that happens, Barry talks less, spends more time with himself and pushes everyone away. Which Barry hasn't gone to that self-destructive stage yet but at the rate he's going might as well be. Truth be told, he misses Eddie. He'd be getting him out of the rut he's in right about now.

From time to time Barry finds himself watching Wells. There are times when the doctor catches him in the act which results in the younger man to not so conspiculously look the other way in embarassment. Or pretending to look busy doing something. Which he always gets a raised brow when he fumbles. Barry Allen isn't the most suave person around. He bumps into stuff when he's embarassed or caught off guard. A total klutz. An awkward mess when he really likes someone.

Walking over to the duo, Allen leans against the open entrance of the lab and engages in minimal conversation. A joke or two with Cisco. Knowing too well that he was keeping his friend from work. But only for a little bit. Hardly noticing that a familiar pair of eyes were lingering on him. Because this was normal for all of them. At least .. As normal as they're ever going to get. )

—subtle.

Shiro | Voltron: LD | M/F

Azumane Asahi | Haikyuu!!

BARRY ALLEN | FLASH: SEASON 1 |. OTA

Malcolm Meryln l Arrow l ota

Ray Palmer l DCTV l ota

excuse my novel

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