[well, at least they'd both been stupid that way. it makes him feel a little better, that Boss had been fighting the same internal battle, wanting desperately to share those feelings but not knowing how to say or show them. not even out of a sense of cowardice. just because everything he could think of to say or do seemed wrong, and it seemed like there'd be time to figure it out. and as it had turned out, there hadn't been time.]

[he shivers involuntarily at the feeling of Boss' breath against him and his voice in his ear. it's low, familiar and long-lost at the same time, and for the first time Kaz registers how close they really are. when he lets out a bitter laugh, it's a little breathless.]

And what? Hope it goes better this time? I'll leave Diamond Dogs behind and try a third time? When do we give up and just accept it's not going to happen? What if there'll always be nations and ideologies dragging people in and making them fight their own comrades, shipping them off to senseless deaths?

Maybe there's no point. [he spits out the word angrily] Maybe everything we wanted was an impossibility from the start. "We live in an age in which there is no heroic death", after all.