well, that was abrupt

[spiderhorse]

the WAIT WHAT? meme

You have news to break. Now. Unfortunately, who you're breaking it to has absolutely no idea of this thing you must tell them.

You're breaking up with them. Will they try to win you back, poke holes in your illogical actions, or scream and rage and cry?



01 - I've found someone else. Someone who treats me right. We're through.
02 - I've found someone else. It's your sibling/best friend/parent/GRANDPARENT/w/e.
03 - I've found someone else. On the Internet. I'm leaving you and flying out to live with forever and ever. And no, I've never met them before, but they're so sweet and kind on Skype so clearly they will be a better SO.
04 - I found your chats with someone on the Internet. I'm breaking up with you before you can fly out and live with them forever and ever.
05 - Loveless. You've been together for a long time now, but you've recently realized you're just going through the motions. You'd rather let go and try to find something exciting than live in neutral any longer.
06 - Why didn't you tell me you had a kid? ARE YOU ASHAMED OF ME?
07 - Sorry, honey, but I have three other spouses in three separate states, twelve kids, and I took on you as number four without proper documentation, so I have to leave the country before they kill me or I end up on a Dateline segment.
08 - Wildcard!