[As nice as Nagisa's words are, Haru knows they aren't true. He... should have done better. If he's even capable of doing better. Sure, Haru can swim well and some other skills, but he can't do anything really important. Worst of all, he just keeps feeling sorry for himself...

When he hears Nagisa apologize again - like he's done several tomes now since this nightmare began - a flash of irritation fills Haru's mind.]

Why... do you keep saying you're sorry?

[Haru tries to keep his voice even, flat, devoid of emotion-- it's none of those. He swallows hard, as if it'll help. But the more this pressure in his mind builds up, the less he finds he's able to control it, the louder his voice gets.

At times like these, Haru has to wonder. Why do his friends care for him this much? They're all such wonderful, supportive people... nothing Haru does can feel like he's doing enough for them. They give up so much, try so hard for him. They blame themselves when they don't make him happy. Even when Haru refuses to try to be happy. Why?]

Stop being sorry! None of this is your fault! You should... be here with everyone again. This is...

[His head hurts and it feels hot behind his eyes-- he can barely see Nagisa now with how his vision starts to blur. When he recognizes what's happening, he quickly shuts his eyes before the tears start to form. His voice lowers to a really pathetic sound, shaking with barely-repressed sobs.]

This is what I want to do. I want everyone to be happy... I want so bad for you to be happy. And I want you here. But I... I'm so--

[Weak? Not good enough? Words like that... those feel like they suit Haru well.]