[ there are days when he remembers who he used to be, before, and there are days when he remembers only who he was after, and there are days when there is only darkness gnawing at the edges of his consciousness, and he is not sure which of these are the best days or if they are all awful, painful in their own way.
what he knows is that he is no longer either of these men. he is not who he was before - bucky - and he is not who he became - an asset, not worthy of a name - and so he thinks back to what the man had called him, james buchanan barnes and he starts forging a new path for himself. sometimes, when he comes across a base or tidbits of information in his memory that lead him to one, he takes his revenge, or maybe the purpose is to keep them from doing it to anyone else, or maybe he's doing it so they won't take him again —
he isn't always so sure on what his motives are.
james is almost done with the task he has set for himself. ( it's a powerful thing, setting his own mission objectives, determining his own targets outside of any stated parameters, and he isn't always good with that kind of power, trusting himself with it, but maybe it's better than trusting anyone else with it. ) the troopers are dead, and he is about to dismantle the systems of the base; it will be useless from now on. he is almost done, and then his instincts warn him that he is not alone, and he whirls around with his pistol drawn.
it doesn't lower, but his finger slides away from the trigger when he sees who he has in his crosshairs. his jaw works, before he gets the word out. ]
Steve.
[ the man had told him his name, the last time he'd met, and he's seen him in memories since. ]
no subject
what he knows is that he is no longer either of these men. he is not who he was before - bucky - and he is not who he became - an asset, not worthy of a name - and so he thinks back to what the man had called him, james buchanan barnes and he starts forging a new path for himself. sometimes, when he comes across a base or tidbits of information in his memory that lead him to one, he takes his revenge, or maybe the purpose is to keep them from doing it to anyone else, or maybe he's doing it so they won't take him again —
he isn't always so sure on what his motives are.
james is almost done with the task he has set for himself. ( it's a powerful thing, setting his own mission objectives, determining his own targets outside of any stated parameters, and he isn't always good with that kind of power, trusting himself with it, but maybe it's better than trusting anyone else with it. ) the troopers are dead, and he is about to dismantle the systems of the base; it will be useless from now on. he is almost done, and then his instincts warn him that he is not alone, and he whirls around with his pistol drawn.
it doesn't lower, but his finger slides away from the trigger when he sees who he has in his crosshairs. his jaw works, before he gets the word out. ]
Steve.
[ the man had told him his name, the last time he'd met, and he's seen him in memories since. ]