[Farlan listens, flinching visibly at the sound of his name. It's not that it brings his memories back as he'd--hoped? feared?--but the shock of it, of having a real name and knowing it, is difficult to process. He'd thought it was possible that everyone in the world could have forgotten him, that that other self could have been gone forever.
He turns to look at Erwin, and there's something familiar about that, too. Farlan doesn't mind that he's calling Levi back; he's honestly surprised they delayed this long on account of him. Maybe it's best that they're leaving. Levi's words had been comparatively few, but their content is a lot to take in. He feels dazed, at a loss. He can barely get out his reply.]
All right. I'll be here.
[He watches the Survey Corps leave. Even though he's known he was one of them once, it's still difficult to imagine going with them. He shudders and looks away as they open the gate, as a wave of revulsion washes over him. It almost makes him sick.
While they're away outside the walls, he notices people looking at him strangely. They think of him differently now, he can tell, and he'll have to deal with that. Maybe he made the wrong choice. His life here hasn't been so bad, comparatively. But he'd chosen, and he can't take it back. He keeps thinking about what Levi said, about Isabel and the slums and his failure. He still doesn't remember, but his dread is stronger, as is the feeling that he can almost recall, like a damn barely holding back the waters. He's not sure when it will break, or what will happen when it does.
He doesn't bother pretending that he's going to change his mind, even if that would be the wiser thing to do. Maybe he's tired of pretending, even if this frightens him. He waits for Levi when the gates reopen and the riders return. For some reason, he's sure he'll come back.]
no subject
He turns to look at Erwin, and there's something familiar about that, too. Farlan doesn't mind that he's calling Levi back; he's honestly surprised they delayed this long on account of him. Maybe it's best that they're leaving. Levi's words had been comparatively few, but their content is a lot to take in. He feels dazed, at a loss. He can barely get out his reply.]
All right. I'll be here.
[He watches the Survey Corps leave. Even though he's known he was one of them once, it's still difficult to imagine going with them. He shudders and looks away as they open the gate, as a wave of revulsion washes over him. It almost makes him sick.
While they're away outside the walls, he notices people looking at him strangely. They think of him differently now, he can tell, and he'll have to deal with that. Maybe he made the wrong choice. His life here hasn't been so bad, comparatively. But he'd chosen, and he can't take it back. He keeps thinking about what Levi said, about Isabel and the slums and his failure. He still doesn't remember, but his dread is stronger, as is the feeling that he can almost recall, like a damn barely holding back the waters. He's not sure when it will break, or what will happen when it does.
He doesn't bother pretending that he's going to change his mind, even if that would be the wiser thing to do. Maybe he's tired of pretending, even if this frightens him. He waits for Levi when the gates reopen and the riders return. For some reason, he's sure he'll come back.]