We all masturbate, it's nothing to be ashamed of. It's also something most prefer to keep private. But sometimes, people forget to knock while we're in the middle of things, and awkwardness ensues.
* Post with your character's name and fandom in the subject line * Others reply, stumbling in on you. * You pick a reaction from the list below. (Or roll 1-10!) * PROFIT!
REACTIONS:
➊ EMBARRASSMENT Yeah, someone just caught you in a very private act and you kind of wish the ground would swallow you up. Now.
➋ ANGER How dare someone barge in on you without knocking! You'll give them a piece of your mind right now.
➌ EXCITEMENT/EXHIBITIONISM happens to be a major turn-on for you, so you'll just continue. Maybe even ask them to give you a hand, you never know...
➍ APATHY Big deal, it's not like they've been living in a bubble where they never knew masturbation existed, and if they were they had to find out about it sometime.
➎ SQUICK Either it was a family member who just walked in on you or you just feel so utterly dirty at having been caught doing something so personal.
➏ DELAYED reaction You didn't even notice they were there until after you finished.
➐ DERAILED REACTION Oh no you've been--what is that on their head? Wait, the world's ending now? D-did you just see that unicorn? Worry about being caught later, figure out what the hell is going on first.
➑ FRUSTRATION COME ON, EVERY TIME!
➒ RELIEF Thank GOODNESS someone came by! Otherwise you'd have had to stop and go grab that toy/pillow/remote for the annoying stereo yourself. Also they could maybe swap discs because this movie isn't really doing it for you. What do you mean it's inappropriate? It's not like you're asking them to watch.
[It's a thing that happens when you're roommates with someone, you know?
Sometimes you have class when they don't.
Sorry, did you think Jim meant something else? Because he didn't. Seriously. He had class. Blah blah complex math blah blah. Anyway, normally, this wouldn't be a big deal at all, because that would mean that Bones'd be off at the clinic or the library or whatever-the-hell-else he does in his free time. So when Jim unlocked the door to their dorm, he wasn't really expecting anything special to happen.
He notices Bones' keys on the counter. Hunh. Must've stayed in today. Well, Jim was just swinging in to drop off his shit and then he was going to head back out to get food, so, hell, why not see if Bones wants to tag along?
So that's why Jim opens Bones' bedroom door. Without knocking or anything. Because what's the point?] Hey, Bones, gonna head out to grab a bite. D'you wanna --
[McCoy slaps his hand down on his PADD, pausing whatever mysterious video had been playing on it, and yanks his comforter up to his chest. His face is flushed and he's breathing a little heavily.]
[He reaches behind him, flails for a moment, then grabs a hold of his pillow and flings it at Jim's face. However, it will do to keep in mind that he is a doctor, not an all-star pitcher, so chances are very good he missed.]
And I swear to God, Jim Kirk, if you say ANYTHING AT ALL, then I will present you as a vivisection to the first-years!
[And, ninety seconds later, an extremely grumpy-looking (but dressed!) McCoy presents himself, scowling so hard at Jim that his face will probably freeze like that.]
[It's a good thing Bones said that. For his sake, that is. Because Jim's mouth was already open and ready to fire off a dumbass remark that would really earn that vivisection. Instead, Bones will just hear Jim chortling outside the room.
By the time he comes out, Jim's expression is a perfect mask of innocence.]
I was about to head out to go get some grub. I was gonna ask you to join me, but, I dunno, man. It's looking like you're not ready to come yet.
[LOOK AT THIS INNOCENT FACE
IT'S NOT LIKE HE USED ANY WORDS OR PHRASING ON PURPOSE
Hey, I never took you as the type to get off on the risk of getting caught. I guess you're more repressed than I thought. Or less repressed? I've never been able to make up my mind if you're as kinky as a Japanese stereotype or if you sneak out when I'm not looking. Anyway, the point is, you could have locked your door.
I guess next time I won't bother dropping by to do something nice, like inviting the roommate who I never get to see any more to come to get food with me.
Fuck you. My ... personal habits are not for your consumption, and I really don't want yours to be for mine, no matter how much you try to make it that way.
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bakerstreet2013-05-11 06:59 pm
is jim kirk oh hey how convenient
Sometimes you have class when they don't.
Sorry, did you think Jim meant something else? Because he didn't. Seriously. He had class. Blah blah complex math blah blah. Anyway, normally, this wouldn't be a big deal at all, because that would mean that Bones'd be off at the clinic or the library or whatever-the-hell-else he does in his free time. So when Jim unlocked the door to their dorm, he wasn't really expecting anything special to happen.
He notices Bones' keys on the counter. Hunh. Must've stayed in today. Well, Jim was just swinging in to drop off his shit and then he was going to head back out to get food, so, hell, why not see if Bones wants to tag along?
So that's why Jim opens Bones' bedroom door. Without knocking or anything. Because what's the point?] Hey, Bones, gonna head out to grab a bite. D'you wanna --
[-- oh. That's the point.]
oh hey look at that - 8
[McCoy slaps his hand down on his PADD, pausing whatever mysterious video had been playing on it, and yanks his comforter up to his chest. His face is flushed and he's breathing a little heavily.]
What the fuck do you want, Jim?
dohohohoho
[Wow, that's not actually supposed to be a question, so much as Jim trying to confirm to himself that yes, this is a thing that's happening.
...
He starts to laugh. He tries to stop, because that's just going to make Bones more bad, but wow this is a thing that's happening.]
Sorry -- [for laughing and for ~interrupting~.] Sorry. [..... still laughing]
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[He reaches behind him, flails for a moment, then grabs a hold of his pillow and flings it at Jim's face. However, it will do to keep in mind that he is a doctor, not an all-star pitcher, so chances are very good he missed.]
Get the hell out!
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And, because Jim, then he can't resist calling back in,]
Are you sure you don't want some help with that?
[he MAKES SURE THAT HE'S NOT IN LINE OF SIGHT because Bones may have missed with the pillow but he may manage to kill him yet]
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[...shit.]
And I swear to God, Jim Kirk, if you say ANYTHING AT ALL, then I will present you as a vivisection to the first-years!
[And, ninety seconds later, an extremely grumpy-looking (but dressed!) McCoy presents himself, scowling so hard at Jim that his face will probably freeze like that.]
What.
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By the time he comes out, Jim's expression is a perfect mask of innocence.]
I was about to head out to go get some grub. I was gonna ask you to join me, but, I dunno, man. It's looking like you're not ready to come yet.
[LOOK AT THIS INNOCENT FACE
IT'S NOT LIKE HE USED ANY WORDS OR PHRASING ON PURPOSE
YOU'RE JUST IMAGINING THINGS]
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[He crosses his arms, glaring so hard.
Of note: not the only hard thing. Ahem.]I thought it was something important, otherwise you would have knocked.
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[I COUNTER YOUR LOGIC WITH MY OWN]
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[...for his masturbation schedule. Shut up.]
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[is he guilt tripping you
is he trying to guilt trip you
seriously
yes, yes he is
... for the lulz]
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For all of five seconds. But then he's grinning again.]
Hey, at least I'm willing to put on a show.
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