bakerstreet | (no subject)

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The FAMILY Meme

How does it work? Simple! Choose a relationship (or roll for one, if it suits your fancy), and then RNG for a situation! That, or just go straight for whatever situation appeals to you. These are all fairly vague: just something to start you off!

Parent-Child

     1. Rock-a-Bye How do you get a fussy child to sleep? Read them a story, sing them a lullaby, or just let them stay up until they exhaust themselves? Whatever the choice, it is time for bed.

     2. For The First Time You've never met this person in your life, but it turns out they're one of the two reasons you exist. Maybe they walked out when you were young. Maybe they never knew you were born. Whatever the reason, it is now time to meet them.

     3. Past Midnight That curfew was set for a reason. Now it's two AM, and your kid is just now dragging in. Maybe they're drunk. Or got into a fight. Or just had way too much fun snogging their new love interest. It's time for them to face the music.

     4. New Home It's the first day of your new life together, as parent and child. Whether it's through adoption, a basket on the front steps, or a wish come true, both of you are going to have to learn to take your steps together.

     5. Holiday It could be Christmas, Easter, or just a birthday, but it is time to celebrate! Get together for some good old-fashioned family fun.

     6.Take To Work Day What your parents do for a living is the quickest thing that can turn a kid from boring to the coolest on the block. So whatever the job, from accountant to zookeeper, go to work!

     7. You're Not My Real Dad Being a step-parent (or step-child, for that matter) can be tough. Problem is, you're stuck with each other. So whether you're yelling or just having an awkward conversation, it is time to work things out.

     8. Unexpected Guardian So you're not the parenting type. Too bad. Situation calls for someone to step up to the plate and look out for this kid, and you're the only one near base. Have fun with that.

Siblings

     1. Protective Big Sibling Okay, look. No one gets to mess with your sibling but you. Your little brother or sister is in trouble; let them know you're going to be the one to take care of it.

     2. Ruining The Night So your sibling has a hot date. You know what that calls for? Making their lives a living hell.

     3. Newcomer Who is this new kid in your house? Your family has adopted, and now you have to call this stranger family. Welcome them into the house, or let them know how much they aren't wanted.

     4. Blood Brothers So maybe you aren't really related to this person. That doesn't matter. You're going to change that, right now. In this moment, you will become family. Nothing can break this bond.

     5. Middle of the Night It's the middle of the night. Your car is broken down, or you're drunk, or you need bailed out, or you just got beat up, or someone just broke up with you. Whatever just happened, it's time to call your sibling and hope they can bail you out.

     6. Sibling Rivalry Nobody understands what jerks siblings can be! Always in your stuff, messing up your relationships, getting in your way -- it's time for an all out brawl, whether that means yelling, pranking, or fists flying.

     7. Long-Lost Maybe you've heard of this person. Or maybe they are entirely new to you. However, you've gotten the information that you're more than strangers: you're family. Welcome to each other's lives.

     8. All Alone Once your family was whole. Or maybe it never truly was. Whatever the case, the world is a big, dangerous place, and you've only got one person left to rely on: your sibling.

Uncle/Aunt-Niece/Nephew

     1. Sent Away There's something bad going on at home, and you've been sent away to "safety." Problem is, how safe is this relative really? Are they the kooky, cool kind of Aunt, or are they a crazed Uncle after your fortune? Time to find out.

     2. Taking You In Something's happened to your niece/nephew's parents, and it's time to step up and do your family duty. They've got nowhere else to go, after all.

     3. The One We Don't Talk About So maybe the family is a little bit...ashamed of you. You're a bit mad, or you've done something they just don't like. Yet you want to be part of your niece/nephew's life, and whatever their parents say, you'll find a way.

     4. Grand Adventure Maybe you came out of nowhere, or maybe you've just been keeping secrets. But you aren't an ordinary aunt/uncle, and it's time to take your niece or nephew on a very wild ride.

     5. Like A Parent To Me Sure, you have parents, but this person is who your parents should be like -- or maybe who you feel should be your parent in the first place. Let them know how you feel about them.

     6. Don't Tell Mom Aunts and Uncles have special qualities. Like, sometimes, being a bit more lenient than Mom and Dad might be. So you have a, er, sensitive problem? It's time to run to them.

In A Relationship

     1. New Baby On The Way The panicking is already over, but there are still preparations to be made. Maybe you need to set up the nursery, or you've got the best idea for your soon-to-be child's name.

     2. Romeo & Juliet You love this person. Perhaps more than life itself. But it is time to break the bad news: your family will never approve.

     3. I Think I Might Be Pregnant Somehow, you are pregnant. And you think you know who the father is...time to break the news.

     4. While You Were Away You've been gone years, only to come back and find your beloved has a child...with your eyes.

Other
     Of course, you are free to make up your own scenario, or do a relationship not done here! "

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[After the loss of her protection and her second faked death in the span of a year, Irene decided she needed to be somewhere very far from her usual haunts while things cooled off.

...Which is how she ended up in Greendale, Colorado, knocking on Britta's door at roughly 2 in the morning. ISN'T FAMILY GREAT?]

[Guess who's body is now comprised mostly of vodka and olives? This body, right here. Passed out, face first, on the table.

NO IT'S NOT. BRITTA HATES FAMILY.]

[Knocking. Louder. She feels very exposed standing out here. Not that it's likely anyone in the area would recognize her — she was a little girl when last she visited the state of Colorado. There's not a soul around who would know her now.

-Well, unless they enjoy browsing the web for UK-based dominatrices, in which case they'd be more likely to drop at her feet and beg to spit-shine her boots than to out her.

Still, she doesn't like standing in the open with her back to the street. Also, it's chilly. God damn it, Britta, open up. :|]

[Britta hears the knocking on the door and thinks it's just her splitting headache clocking into work early. Then it gets louder and -- hang on -- the headache doesn't get worse just yet.

Oh. It's the door. Someone's at the door. How awkward.

She drags herself off from the table and, barely missing her one-eyed cat, makes it to the door. She then spends almost a full minute fumbling with the locks before realising that, nope, door's not locked. Throwing the door open, she scowls; her curly hair's a wild mess and she's got full-on, Samuel L. Jackson crazy eyes going on.

Irene meet Medusa. Medusa, Irene.]

Yes? What'd you want?

[Irene would be reevaluating the awesomeness of this plan if she had any better options. But nope. This is it.

She smiles in a way that she hopes looks properly apologetic and not at all alarmed by her cousin the hairbeast.]

Hello, Britta. I'm sorry it's so late, but, ah, I was hoping to ask you for a favor.

[The hand she hadn't been using to knock is clutching the handle of a wheeled suitcase. This is not a good sign.]

[She's immune to it, dude.

The last time Irene asked Britta for a favour, her Barbie doll got returned with burn marks everywhere. Britta immediately notices the suitcase in Irene's hand. She's been in the same position with Irene plenty of times before.]

Lemme guess. You need a place to stay and I'm your last resort? [She cocks a brow.] Am I right?

[Even a hangover can't stop Britta from being sarcastic.]

Clearly.

[Can't fault her for trying. Oh well. She glances down at the suitcase, and, when she looks up again, she no longer appears the least bit sorry for waking Britta.]

But I know you'll let me in. What I need you to do is keep quiet about it.

[Ugh. Now she remembers why they didn't spend so much time together. They were polar opposites then, polar opposites now. But, shit, she's got her there.]

You're under the impression that I care enough to tell.

Fine, so much the better.

[After all, she isn't here to bond or renew familial ties or any of that mushy stuff. She tries to step past Britta into the doorway.]

[She sighs and steps aside to let Irene in.]

Yes, fine, come on in. Where are my manners?

[Tugging her suitcase through,]

Perhaps you left them with your brush.

[Oops, that one just slipped out. This is probably why they never see each other. Irene stands in the middle of the room, running a critical eye over Britta's furnishings.]

[She's just going to respond to that by smiling, tightly and thinly.]

And who did you piss off this time, Irene?

[The smile falters for just a moment when Britta catches her looking over, silently criticizing, her stuff. Another reason why Britta doesn't like Irene: she reminds her too much of her mother.]

[Who didn't she piss off is the better question. She tosses an answer out at random, flashing a glib smile.]

Government. [More accurately several of them, as well as various private organizations. Businessmen, scientists, mercenaries. That Pakistani terrorist cell — that had been bad business from the start.

She suppresses a shudder at the memory and finds a seat that passes muster.]

[The look of surprise, and a bit of awe, on her face isn't entirely fake.]

Oh, wow. An entire government.

[She goes to pull out a bottle of vodka from the freezer. The only way to nurse your way through a mind-crushing hangover is to drink more. She's digging through her cupboards for a clean glass when she asks,]

Would you like something to drink?

[She takes some small satisfaction from Britta's reaction.]

Whatever you're having at half-strength.

[It's been hours since she last ate, thanks to the travel, though not as long as it could have been. She didn't fly direct from Europe, partially because there were no direct flights but also as a safety measure. Instead she had touched down in Los Angeles several days ago, made as if to disappear into the city, then flown to Colorado under a different identity entirely. The flight was short enough that they didn't serve a meal and she didn't bother with one in the airport or on the way to Britta's.

Vodka? Probably not the best idea. But she can manage one drink and maybe it will help her get to sleep later. Besides, any tea Britta might have stashed away probably isn't up to snuff.]

[Yeah, uh-hu. "Tea." That's all she's got. She walks out of the kitchen, carrying a bottle of vodka under her arm and two mugs that may have cartoon characters on them, and sets them on the coffee table.]

How long do you plan to stay here?

[She makes no move for the bottle just yet.]

That depends on several factors. When do you plan to kick me out?

[That's actually not a terribly important factor, she figures she can always guilt Britta into a longer stay if she needs the time.]

I don't know. When do you plan to stop playing your stupid manipulative, mind games?

[Also a factor into that: how long before big, veiny men with big, veiny guns show up.]

[That's an easy one.]

Never.

[Fake chuckle at that.]

What I meant was, when are you going to stop playing it with me?

[SAME ANSWER. No wait, uh-]

What are you suggesting as an alternative?

Civility. You need or want something from me, ask. I'll most likely do it. There's no need for guilt trips, threats, blackmail, insults, or whatever. We don't want to become like our mothers now, do we?

[She's pours a bit of vodka into their glasses.]

[Her jaw unconsciously tightens at the mention of their mothers.] Heaven forbid.

[There's a long-ish pause as she thinks over Britta's request. Or rather, decides which mug to take. She already knows what her answer will be; you catch more flies with honey.

Her fingers curl possessively around the handle of the chosen mug and she lifts it halfway to her mouth before speaking.]

...All right. If you intend to be accommodating, I'll do my best not to mess you around. It'll be easier for the both of us.

I will, thank you.

[She swings back her cup of vodka and reaches for more.]

I actually don't know why we never got along, do you? I mean.... we are the black sheep of the family, y'know.

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Britta Perry | Community

sibling!5 but cousins maybe? our icon war gave me a hideous idea

Either siblings or cousins is fine with me! Both are hideously awesome.

cousins makes more sense, I think

Groovy.

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