bakerstreet | BABIES! BABIES EVERYWHERE. [THE MEME]

photo happy_baby_picture1_zpsbfb551fa.jpg

Ah spring. The time for flowers, grass, baby animals, and babies. Yes, with the end of winter comes new creatures including babies.

GUESS WHO JUST GOT ONE.

You and your partner have a baby. Suddenly. Out of the blue. What does it look like? What does it's future look like? You can either plan out this hellspawn hellion child or you can hit the RNG below for things you can do with your new bundle of joy.

IN SUMMARY
1. YOU HAVE A BABY CONGRATS.
2. Figure out where/how you got it what it looks like and some basic traits.
3. Either take it away with you ...
4. ... Or hit the RNG below.

1. BABY I ADORE YOU You've got the little critter home and are adjusting to the schedule of a newborn creature. Basically ... you're living on it's schedule. Good luck.

2. TOYS! Are you spoiling the kid? Is the kid spoiling you? Babies need to be played with. It's like the sims. Otherwise they're not interesting like at all.

3. FOOD AND DRINK Just like with pets, houseplants, and cars - babies need to be fed and taken care of. enjoy the perils of something that doesn't particularly have a lot of control over itself yet.

4. THE GREAT WIDE WORLD Take the baby outside! Introduce it to others! Show it grass! flowers! taunt it with things it cannot do yet! (That's right kiddo, one day you will be able to walk BUT FOR NOW...)

5. GROWING UP IS HARD TO DO Toddler/Child/Teenager option. It's not a baby anymore it's another person that owes you it's life. Granted most of us don't realize we owe our parents that much until we're out of the nest. What did it do? Take the car? Smear paint on the walls? eat a pan full of half baked brownies?

What's that? Looking for something a little more serious? These are more to your liking then.

6. HEIR TO DESTINY IF WE CAN GET YOU THERE. Congratulations your child is the heir to incredible skill, a fortune, a family curse, or something else entirely. Holding it in your arms you are confronted with the possibility it might be a hard road to get this child to their birth right. Are you prepared to do what it takes?

7. YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN A - Deal with disappointment. Procreation is a hard business. You were hoping for a [INSERT GOAL HERE] but it's a [INSERT BABY HERE]. How do you cope?

8. BABY ON THE RUN You gave birth in hiding and secret, you're running FROM someone. How do you cope with the challenges of a child while living in hiding? Is this child an heir to Destiny?

9. ROSEMARY'S BABY This baby is not yours. It was put there by an entity or by someone else - this child's very presence however will change everything in your universe. How does it feel to have roving bands of cults worshiping it?

10. WILDCARD Take your new baby and do what you will with it. Just remember it's a child and a baby. Don't eat it or hurt it for the sake of the meme (because the meme maker was unsure if a content warning would be needed.)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[the sound of a boot against wood. 'Cause someone is not knocking but kicking at Steve's door.

It's 'cause, as becomes apparent when the door is opened, Barton's hands are totally full. He's carrying the vibranium shield like… like… well, kinda like a huge serving platter. A little further away from him than would be most comfortable. With a giggling baby, who's been enjoying the shield ride, rolling in the middle of it.]

Forget something?

Hmm. So pawning the child to Natasha hadn't worked. Weren't women supposed to have that internal mothering instinct? Steve had wanted to ask her about it, but feared for his life.

"Uh, 'spose." He held out his hands for the shield and watched, with a frown, as baby Stark giggled and tried to poke at Steve's face. "I had no idea that Norse gods were able to do stuff like this. Did you?"

If he was being honest, Steve was enjoying the fact that Tony couldn't argue back. Or kick them out of his apartment.

Yeah, someone trying to pawn something off on Tasha's maternal or otherwise feminine side invariably resulted in Tasha pawning it off on Clint.

Did that make him Tasha's feminine side?

Barton considered trying to sue somebody.

" 'Do stuff' like… have kids with mortals? From what I know about mythology, that's about all they do."

Barton hovered over the shield too and tried, for the umpteenth fruitless time, to reclaim the detachable patch of fabric the kid had somehow managed to grab off Barton's jumpsuit. "You know that's meant for, like, suicide pills," he told the kid tartly, but the baby just kept using the square of black fabric as a chew toy. For now, again, (being currently clean of anything lethal) Barton let him keep it.

Edited 2013-03-18 12:03 (UTC)

"But...Loki isn't a woman. How'd he manage to have a child with Stark?" Not that Steve was experienced in the matter, but he was certain that having children needed one member of each gender. Or were Norse gods both genders?

Maybe he just shouldn't think about it too much.

The child hung on to the edge of the shield and rocked on his knees. Steve watched, wondering what it was doing...right up until it tumbled forward and off the shield. At least Steve was quick enough to catch it by the disposable nappy.

"Why can't they just stay still?" he asked Clint, clearly annoyed. "Don't they know that just about everything will kill them?" especially in Tony's apartment. "We need to trap it somewhere. Got any ideas?"

BABIES! BABIES EVERYWHERE. [THE MEME]

Steve Rogers || Movie Verse

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