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The Drunk Meme

1. Drinking Games. You're at that special level of drunkenness where previously unimagined things start to sound like a good idea, like another drink. It's cool, I know this great game that will inevitably end with everyone involved being totally wasted. You play until... shit, what were the rules again?

2. Unsolicited Advice. Oh man, you suddenly know the solutions to all of life's mysteries. All it took to figure it all out was half a pint of whiskey! It's time to tell all your friends how to fix the problems with their personal lives, whether they want you to or not.

3. Drunk Texting. Frankly, you can't IMAGINE why anyone wouldn't want to hear about how drunk you are right now. If only you could remember where the vowels are on this tiny keyboard. Drawing inspiration from TFLN is encouraged.

4. Tell them How You Really Feel. You lost some of your less important inhibitions three or four drinks ago, and it's time to tell it how it is! Time to hunt down the person you love, or possibly the person you hate, or even just the person you don't ACTUALLY despise, and bare your heart to them in a way that you'll almost definitely regret tomorrow morning.

5. Karaoke. Shot through the heart, and you're to blame! You give love... a bad... something...

6. Terrible Ideas. This is going to be so awesome, guys. I've got the skateboard, and I'm handcuffed to Steve... is the camera rolling? And who's lighting the fireworks?

7. Flirting. While all that booze may not have enhanced your charm, it certainly did wonders for your ego! Time to find all the hottest dudes and/or chicks in this place and make them swoon before your gin-powered charisma.

8. On the Streets. What better way to follow up a good bar run than by drunkenly wandering the streets in the middle of the night? There may be loud, embarrassing singing. There may be puking in the gutter. You may be completely lost, and not sure why that police officer is speaking Italian.

9. Take Me Home Tonight. Yeah, it's time to go home but you're not going alone, time to drag someone home for a hook up. Let's just hope you can get your body to agree or don't fall asleep first

10. The Next Day. All that you took with you from last night's adventures was a blur of jumbled, confusing memories, a lampshade with googly eyes drawn on it taped to your head, and a brutal hangover. What exactly happened here? And who's that sleeping next to you?

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For the third time that night, Gretel had to turn her brother around to the bar at large, when he once again didn't recognize her right off. She sighed, shaking her head, "I know I'm still sitting here, that's because someone's got to make sure you get your dumb ass back upstairs in one piece."

On a normal day, when it came to women Hansel was usually very awkward around them, even shy, but get a few drinks into him and, well, let's just say he got over that real quick.

Too bad he also ended up short sighted and with an even shorter attention span and memory as well. Good thing he was too drunk to be embarrassed that he'd just hit on his own sister for the... okay, a number would involve counting. Nope. More than once, though.

"Couldn't you sit somewhere else?" he protested. "And my ass is not as dumb as your face." Ha! Said with a triumphant grin and everything.

"I could," She replied, deciding that it was probably best to just ignore the pitiful attempt at an insult, "but you know what would happen if I sat somewhere else? Someone else would try what you've been trying for the past couple hours, and I'd really like to not have to break anyone's fingers tonight."

Not that she expected him to actually pay attention to anything she was saying at the moment.

Hansel snorted into his ale as his eyes roamed the crowd again. "Pfft, you love breaking fingers and all body parts, 'specially noses," he slurred. "I think you're blocking me on purpose. There was'a brunette giving me the eye earlier but you prob'ly scared her off."

Her brow furrowed at that last statement, mostly because it distracted her from answering the first, glancing over his shoulder to survey the bar once more.

As was typical of this side of the mountains, everyone but them was fair-haired. She just sighed, shaking her head and dragging her own drink closer to take a healthy gulp of it, not even going to try explaining.

When Gretel didn’t try to deny any of his accusations, Hansel pointed at her with a triumphant “ha! I knew it!” before he wandered off into the crowd again.

Sidling up to a average looking blonde, all seemed to be going well until he got her to smile and discovered that she was severely lacking in something, or more like many things, namely her teeth. Downing the rest of his drink he made the excuse of needing another and stumbled back to the bar.

Sitting at the bar was one woman who stood out from the rest, even from the back, do to her dark hair. Dropping onto the bench beside her, and almost tumbling to the floor in the process, Hansel put on his best smile, which considering his extremely inebriated state just looked completely goofy.

“Come here often?” he slurred.

It was automatic for her to catch his almost-tumble, snagging the back of his collar to hoist him upright. It took her a moment to realize that he was talking to her yet again and she just sighed, shaking her head, finishing off her drink and unfolding to her feet, catching his arm, "Oookay, that's enough. Let's get you to bed, you've had enough for both of us, and while this used to be pretty funny, it's gotten sad."

Getting him back to their room so he could sleep it off seemed like the best idea at the moment, because otherwise he was going to hurt himself.

At first Hansel thought this was about the easiest girl he could have picked as he had barely gotten a few words out before she was offering to take him to bed. Then he squinted a little and realised that Gretel had somehow butted her way in again and was cutting him off.

“Aww, come on, I’m fine,” he protested, but when he stood up to prove how fine he was he would have fallen flat on his ss if she hadn’t been holding him up. “Yer jus’ jealouss I hold my liquor better.” Although, the idea of laying down for a few minutes didn’t really sound like a bad one.

"Mmhmm, that's exactly what I'm jealous of." The reply was completely deadpan, the level tone that she usually used when explaining things to particularly dense townsfolk, but at least steering him in the general direction of their room seemed easy enough, even as she ducked herself under his arm, looping it across her shoulders to make keeping him upright a little easier.

Getting back to their room was less of an ordeal than she would have thought it would be, there weren't even any unexpected tumbles, as there often were when they'd both been drinking. But then again: she hadn't had nearly as much as her brother had.

Had he been sober Hansel would have known what that tone meant, but as it was he just took it at face value. Besides, what else could she possibly be jealous of?

Now he could have struggled and refused to leave, but leaning on Gretel for support was pretty much the only thing keeping him upright so he let her lead him up to their room. The stairs had been a bit of a struggle but somehow they managed to navigate them with little mishap. Leaning heavily against her while she unlocked the door, his eyes drooped as sleepiness set in. He was degrading into the ‘mushy drunk’ stage, and quickly.

“You’re my favourite,” he slurred, placing a sloppy kiss on her cheek complete with a load ‘mwah!’ for good measure. Okay, so she was the only person in the world that meant anything to him, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t still call her his favourite.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, your favorite, light of your life, blah blah blah." She tugged at the collar of his jacket once she got the door closed behind them again, "C'mon, off, you'll just whine at me in the morning if I let you sleep with this on."

It was starting to hit her just how exhausted she was, and she knew that meant Hansel wasn't likely to be in much better shape. For once she wasn't even going to make him sleep in his own bed, and not just because he'd end up on the floor beside hers anyway, but because she hadn't had enough alcohol to knock herself out, but still too much to sleep peacefully.

Stumbling through the door, Hansel swayed on his feet when he had to stand on his own. He tried to struggle out of his coat at Gretel’s insistence but just managed to get it partway down his arms which pretty much pinned them and made them useless. Letting out a slew of curses he flailed frantically, turning himself in circles before losing his balance and falling face first, luckily, on the bed.

“Fuck it, can stay,” he mumbled into the mattress.

She'd been in the process of unlacing the tethers of her bodice so she could get out of it, and had to stifle a laugh at her brother looking like a pinioned duck. She wriggled out of her bodice, tugging her blouse straight before moving over to help disentangle Hansel from his jacket, shaking her head with another, "Hopeless. What would you do without me?"

She made sure that his medication was where they could get it for his midnight injection before shoving him out of the middle of the pallet, flopping herself down next to him, "Go to sleep."

Hansel was content to just lay as he was until morning, but he let Gretel maneuver him about and remove his coat. Of course by ‘let’ I mean he did as little as possible to help and what little he did do was probably more of a hindrance than anything.

“Don’t wanna find out,” he muttered before flopping back on the pallet again, grumbling before begrudgingly moving over to make room for her as well. The words were an understatement; his biggest fear was losing her. Truth be told he couldn’t imagine his life without her in it, didn’t want to even try. She wasn’t just his sister but his partner and his best friend too. He would move heaven and earth to protect her, and God help anyone who hurt her.

“Mmffmmrrrmmfffmmrrrmmmm,” was his last incoherent reply before he passed out, which could have been interpreted as ”You’re the best sister ever and I love you and I’m sorry for hitting on you all night”, but was more likely to have been something more akin to ”You go the fuck to sleep”.

Edited 2013-03-01 20:30 (UTC)

She couldn't help but smile at the utterly incoherent reply, shaking her head and waiting until she was sure he was asleep before settling as well, shifting over onto her side so that they were back to back and she was between him and anything that might come through the door.

Obviously since she was the rather more cognizant of them, that left it to her to be on the alert. Though that was nothing new, she was used to sleeping in shifts, and knew she wouldn't be sleeping very deeply as it was.

Except for the part where she hadn't taken into account that this was how she'd been sleeping for the past few days, she hadn't counted on exhaustion finally taking over and knocking her out cold as well. Of course, just because she was deeply asleep didn't make it dreamless, it just made it harder to wake up when those dreams turned sour.

Hansel was dead to the world for several hours before something pulled him from his sleep. First is was the movement beside him; nudging, thrashing, it only partially penetrated his mind, only brought him somewhat back to reality. He elbowed her back, still somewhere between asleep and awake until her sudden scream tore through it all and he jolted upright, turning quickly and grabbing for anything he could use as a weapon.

Sitting up quickly had been a bad idea and his head swum around making it hard to focus. He was still quite drunk but he didn’t see any immediate threat and, looking down at Gretel, he suspected she was still sleeping. “Hey, Gretel,” he said quietly, placing his hand gently on her arm.

She was still sleeping, in fact, and the scream hadn't been aloud. It wouldn't have been the first time one of their dreams bled into the other's, and usually it was the bad ones that did.

Her brother's sudden movement was enough to stir her, all the same, and the hand on her arm had her jolting awake, automatically fearing the worst, free hand sliding under the pillow for the knife she usually kept there, only to remember a moment later -when her fingers met nothing- that she hadn't remembered to replace it before she'd dropped off to sleep.

((my bad for interpreting icons. Good cover))

Seeing her quick movements, Hansel snatched his hand back and held both of them up in a surrendering gesture. “Hey, hey, it’s just me,” he said, his voice low but sounding far too loud to him in the otherwise silent room. “You were dreaming. I mean... not a good dream. Bad dreams.”

Ugh, his head was not up to being upright yet and he really just wanted to pass back out again.

[ooc: no worries, I'm good at winging it ^^]

"Yeah. I know." That was really all she had to say about it, because she did know, considering that she'd been the one who was dreaming. She let it go, however, shifting over onto her side to punch her pillow back into shape before she caught her brother's arm, tugging him back down again, "Get some sleep."

Which she realized, vaguely, that she had probably already told him, but it didn't matter, they both needed more of it.

Maybe he should have asked what she had been dreaming about, but his brain was still alcohol addled so when Gretel pulled him back down and told him to go back to sleep he didn’t argue one bit. He didn’t, though, turn his back on her again. It was their usual position if they ever ended up sleeping out in the open with no wall to keep their backs to, but facing the wall with his back to her and the door hardly made much sense in this case.

Laying back down behind her, Hansel shifted until his forehead pressed just lightly against her back. It didn’t take long for him to drop off again after that.

She actually relaxed as he repositioned himself, shifting herself a little closer once more, having caught his arm again she tugged it up around her waist so that she could hold onto it, just using him as a security blanket as he so often did to her.

She didn't figure anything was going to come crashing through the door to take them on, but even still she only drifted off to sleep again uneasily, waking again at any disturbance.

This wasn’t the first time they’d slept curled up together and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. Considering what they had been through as children and how they had been forced to survive with only each other to rely on, they were closer than most siblings could even dream of being. In fact, Hansel slept better this way.

He would have kept on sleeping for a good couple of hours too if it wasn’t for that annoying sound that suddenly invaded his head, accompanied by a vibrating on his wrist. He ignored it, snuggling closer to Gretel with more unintelligible mumblings, and tried to hold on to the threads of sleep that were slowly slipping from his grasp, passing off the unpleasant feeling that was starting to overcome him as the encroaching hangover.

If he hadn’t been drunk he would have known this was more serious; skipping his medicine simply wasn’t an option for him.

Even though she'd drifted off again, her brother's alarm woke her and she grumbled, shutting it off and shifting forward to fish an injector out of the pouch she'd left hanging over the headboard.

She hadn't thought far enough ahead to put a knife under her pillow, and that was habit, but she had thought far enough ahead to make sure that Hansel's medicine was easy to get to, even half asleep. It was typical of both of them, really, taking care of each other rather than themselves.

She had to disentangle herself from his arm, and from the blankets, deciding that attempting to get at his thigh would just cause more trouble than it was worth, she went for his shoulder instead, it wasn't ideal, but it would still work.

It took a little maneuvering for her to break free of his hol as it was just something else, the absence of warmth and comfort, that threatened to finally shake him from the sleep he was clinging so desperately to. Groaning in protest when she finally pulled away, Hansel tried to turn off the alarm, uttering mumbled curses to himself.

Caught somewhere between dream and reality, when she touched him again to jab him with the needle he swatted her hand away, all the while feeling worse and worse, his movements becoming slower, weaker.

Hansel | Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

7 because lol

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