bakerstreet | that awkward meme;

that awkward meme;

THAT AWKWARD MEME WHEN
Congratulations, your character's shame is now a spectator sport.

RULES:
o1. Post your character ( name | series | any preferences ).
o2. Characters tagging in: ~~Pick~~ roll for a prompt.
o3. The character setting up the scene can be either the cause, or the unfortunate witness to the awkward situation. Have fun!

That awkward moment when...

o1. You're trying to slink away with your partner’s valuables after a one night stand only to wake them up in the process.
o2. You send a message with your confession, raaage, embarrassing questions or compromising pictures to the wrong person.
o3. You forgot about a birthday or anniversary and now have to pitch a cheap gift bought in five minutes off the nearest 7/11 as a symbolic expression of your feelings.
o4. You lost your wallet and have to charm a perfect stranger into paying your tab.
o5. You spill your wine on the event special guest half an hour before they're due giving their speech.
o6. You need to get rid of your date/groupie/coworker to assume your superhero identity and go save the day in the nearby building.
o7. You can’t stop hiccuping during someone's heartfelt confession of undying affection.
o8. You kidnapped the wrong person.
o9. You have to get your very drunk friend out of a public place fast, and they're not exactly cooperating.
10. You blame grave illness to cancel on meeting someone, only to run into them an hour later.
11. You slip ~~on a banana peel~~ in the middle of your amazing performance or even more amazing shounen attack.
12. You get matched on a blind date with someone who dumped you. Twice.
13. You call out the wrong name when things get hot and heavy.
14. You have to prod this person whether they like-like your friend without outright saying it, because said friend is apparently ~~five~~ too shy to ask on their own.
15. You run into someone after choosing your clothing or doing your make up during a blackout.
16. You have to ask a favour of someone you publicly lambasted twenty minutes ago.
17. You wake up to find someone's been watching you sleep.
18. You answer the door in your lingerie to surprise your special other, only to find it’s not them calling.
19. You try the polite greeting your friends taught you in a different language, only to find out it’s actually a grave insult or a hilarious proposal.
20. You accidentally walk into someone showering, singing aloud, enjoying their personal time or anything else you feel like putting together.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only | Expand All

I cannot believe you just did that! You left me here! With this guy who looks like a discarded extra from Real World circa 1998. And you took my cash with you because I asked you to hold it for me! So now I'm stranded with no way to get home unless I get into this guy's SHADY VAN which by the way has a STAR WARS motif painted on the side of it and you won't even get this message because you'll be having hot sex with that bartender guy you ditched me for. I hate you. And I've filed you under my phone as BANE OF MY EXISTENCE. So when you get this message tomorrow morning and the guilt slams you hard because I'm missing or dead, don't call me maybe. You are the worst cousin ever.

[6 part text message sent approximately 2 AM.]

Who is this? Do not get in the van. Call a cab and go straight home.

[sent shortly after 2AM because the damn phone would not stop beeping and woke him up]

[Text 1]
Who is this?

[Text 2]
Oh God, Dr. Banner. I meant to text someone else! Ignore this text! It never happened.

[Text 3]
Shame complete. I have no money for a cab. There's not any way you could lend me some money, is there?

[Text 4]
This is Darcy Lewis. Thor's friend?

[Text 1 - after a full two minute gap]

Where are you?

It's a club called Slice. Don't judge me.

[text 1]

Go back inside where it's safe.

[text 2]

I'll be there as soon as I can.

[Text 1]
Really?! Oh, you are the best, Bruce!

[Text 2]
I mean, Dr. Banner. Thankyouthankyouthankyou.

This was not shaping up to be a good night, and Bruce was more than a little frustrated right now. As if it wasn’t bad enough being woken up at 2AM by the annoying sound of his phone, but it had turned out to be a wrong number, but a wrong number in need of help that he couldn’t just ignore. Thor was in Asgard so he couldn’t wake the god up to see to his own friend, and Bruce couldn’t in good conscience leave her there at the mercy of whatever drunken, shady man offered her a ride. So with great reluctance he had climbed out of his warm bed, thrown on some clothing, and was now driving around the city on his motorcycle, trying to find this sketchy club with only the poor GPS directions he was receiving.

He should have let Tony upgrade it.

Finally locating “Slice”, he was not surprised to find the club looking exactly how he had pictured it. Taking off his helmet and hanging it on the handlebar, he walked up to the club but was stopped at the door but a large, burly man.

“My friend is inside, I’m here to pick her up,” he said, but the man didn’t budge.

The next time Darcy saw her cousin she was going to punch her in the face. Tonight was supposed to have been about a fun night out on the city and had instead turned into one of the scariest nights of her life and that was saying a lot, considering she'd nearly gotten killed in the crossfire between Gods not too long ago.

She was pacing near the entrance of the club and trying to ignore the guy who had seemed to become unnaturally attached to her through the night. His name was Daryl and he kept trying to talk her into going back with him to his van. He was definitely on something too, which was evident by the fact that somewhere during the night he'd decided to take his pants off and hadn't put them back on.

"You should come see my van."

"For the hundreth time, Daryl! I do not want to see your van!" Darcy pulled out her phone and looked down at it, wondering just how far Bruce was in the rescue plan when she heard the rumble of a motorcycle. She didn't really pay it much thought until it stopped in front of the club and it's owner took of his helmet.

She recognized him instantly from the news footage and practically jumped for joy before moving forward. "Here! Here I am!"

She moved towards him quickly and purposefully as if she were running away from the building. "God, you actually came. Thank you so much. I will spend the rest of my life making this up to you, I swear."

Bruce had no idea what to expect of Darcy. He didn’t know what she looked like, how she was dressed; he didn’t know anything that would help him find her. Luckily she found him. Somehow even though he’d had no expectations of her, this bouncy brunette was not what he would have expected at all.

“Oh, it’s, um... nothing,” he replied, momentarily distracted by the pantsless man by the Star Wars van who was glaring at him. “Have you ever ridden on a motorcycle before?” Bruce really hoped she wasn’t too intoxicated to ride properly; her texts had been coherent enough.

"Nope," Darcy said, grabbing the helmet on the back of the seat and slipping it on over her head. She just wanted this horrible night to end.

She got on the back behind Bruce, shifting her weight. "I just hold onto you and pray not to die, right?"

That wasn’t exactly the answer Bruce had hoped to hear, but he couldn’t help but smile at her words.

“That’s part of it, yeah,” he said, slipping his own helmet on after mounting the bike. “Try to keep your body in line with mine, and when we take a corner stay with me, don’t lean away. Try to look over the shoulder of the side we’re leaning into.”

It wasn’t that far to get back to the tower, and he could just take it slow at first until she got the hang of it. There were enough intersections and traffic she wouldn’t get the full experience anyway.

“I’m going to take you back to the tower where I stay and we’ll get you home in the morning, okay?” If he remembered correctly Thor’s friends didn’t live in the city, so Bruce assumed that Darcy was staying with the person she had meant to send the text to, and who had seemingly abandoned her. It just sounded better to take her back to the tower and sort the rest out in the morning.

She listened to him carefully and nodded. She could do this. "Got it."

"Are you going to buy me breakfast too?" She joked, unable to help herself as she wrapped her arms around him and squeezed tight. "Just kidding, that's fine. I don't really have anywhere else to go right now. Thank you, Dr. Banner."

She paused, leaning to the side. "Can I call you Bruce?"

Had Bruce been eating at the time he probably would have choked on his food at Darcy’s question. He hadn’t thought about how it had sounded, that he was essentially taking her home with him, and most men the picked up women at bars didn’t do so with such chivalrous intentions.

“That’s not what...” he started to sputter, but thankfully she proclaimed to be joking. He was just glad she was behind him and couldn’t see his face right then because he could feel the blush in his cheeks. The fact that she had chosen to wrap her arms tightly around him before reassuring him hadn’t helped matters.

Clearing his throat, he nodded. “Yes, you can call me Bruce, Miss. Lewis,” he replied before kickstarting the bike. “Just remember what I said and hold on.”

"Call me Darcy!" She yelled as the bike came to life with a roar. She glanced to her right and waved at Daryl before remembering Bruce's words and wrapping her arm around him again.

This definitely wasn't how she'd expected her night to end, but she'd pretty much thrown expectations out the window ever since she had met Thor. Now she just tried to go with the flow of things and if she got picked up by Dr. Bruce Banner, friend of Gods and Manhattan saving hero, and taken back to his tower in the flow of things, that was a o.k. with her.

Okay, so he wasn't actually picking her up, but he was giving her a ride, on his motor cycle, and well, it wasn't exactly like he wasn't good looking. The night was definitely beginning to not suck.

"Hold on," she said as they stilled for a second at a light. "Do you mean Stark Tower?"

Bruce was a little nervous driving around with a first time passenger, but he was a good driver himself and as long as she didn’t freak out and lean away then he was sure he could compensate for any wrong move she made. Fortunately he didn’t have to, though, as she seemed to follow his instructions pretty well.

While they were stopped at a light he heard her voice behind him as she asked her question over the rumble of the idling engine.

“Yes, Stark Tower,” Bruce replied. “I’ve been staying there a while.” It had made the most sense after the battle for Manhattan. Tony had enticed him with all the R&D opportunities, but if Bruce were being completely honest he hadn’t wanted to go back to isolation. His fellow Avengers hadn’t shied away from him or what he could become, and Tony, in his own way, was helping him come to grips with who he was and to learn to accept it, to balance it, and to stop fearing it.

"This officially became the best night of my life!" Darcy shouted as they took off again. Okay, so maybe she should've played it cool, but her night had gone to zero to hero in like an hour. And she meant literal heroes. She was going to be staying in the place where history had been made. At Tony Stark's New York mansion building thingy. Hanging out with Bruce Banner.

You know, if he didn't want to go back to sleep. For the first time it occurred to her that he might have been sleeping and her brow furrowed under her helmet. She thought about asking him, but it was pretty hard to talk while the motorcycle was weaving through traffic and honestly the ride was thrilling enough that it was hard to hold onto that thought. She kind of wished that the ride wouldn't end.

Bruce laughed lightly at her exclamation, gunning the engine when the light turned green. He wasn’t sure what Tony’s policy was on bringing strangers home, he hadn’t ever thought he’d need to know, but Darcy was Thor’s friend, and what else could Bruce have done? As long as he made sure she didn’t get into any of the labs or touch anything important then he couldn’t see it being a problem.

Despite Darcy’s silent wishes the ride eventually did end. Hitting an extra button as he pulled up outside the tower, a large bay door opened and Bruce drove into the oversized service elevator. Finally cutting the engine he hit the button to take them to the second parking level.

“You did really well,” he encouraged, removing his helmet.

"Thanks," Darcy said, sliding off her own helmet and looking around the elevator. "So this is it, huh? We're actually in Stark Tower right now?"

Okay, so maybe her voice was rising a little with excitement, but she wasn't entirely sure she hadn't been roofied and was just making this whole situation up.

"Do you live here? Is this like your super hero headquarters? Thor said there was a man that lived in the ceiling. Which, I know can't be true... can it?" She paused, her face warming. "Sorry. Twenty questions probably isn't the best game to be playing right now."

“Yes, this is it. It’s much more impressive once you get off the elevator,” Bruce said. He was starting to regret bringing her here. The excitement was flattering, but it had nothing to do with him and everything to do with Tony Stark and the Avengers. Who didn’t want to hang out with superheroes in their free time? It was every little boy’s and girl’s dream, along with many adults.

He nodded when Darcy asked if he lived here. “I was sort of... in between houses at the time so Tony offered me a place here.” He wasn’t sure what she meant about a man living in the ceiling, it was a very strange thing to ask about. Maybe she was actually drunk, just hiding it well? “There’s nothing living in the ceilings, at least nothing I’m aware of.”

The lift stopped and the doors opened onto a parking level that included many fancy and expensive vehicles, all of them in mint condition. Bruce wheeled his bike around to a corner where it proceeded to stick out like a sore thumb. “It’s alright. It’s an exciting and unique place, of course you’re curious.” 

Darcy bit her lip at Bruce's words, realizing how much of an idiot she must sound like. She resolved at that moment to try to think about what she was going to say a little more before it came tumbling out of her mouth. Still, considering the circumstances, he was handling all of this pretty gracefully for someone who was prone to turning into a big, green, rage monster.

She drew in a breath at the sight of the collection of cars. The closest she'd ever been to cars like this was watching MTV Cribs. She opened her mouth to blurt this out, but thought better of it, shutting it and turning towards Bruce. She pulled an unimpressed face and looked around. "Eh, it's not bad."

But when she looked back at Bruce she couldn't help but smile a little. "You could do worse."

Bruce expected the usual squealing and gushing as soon as she was exposed to all the amazing and expensive cars, but all she said was that it’s ‘not bad’. He couldn’t help but give her a look of surprise.

“I could. I have,” he admitted, returning the smile. He could tell she was just bursting with excitement but trying to hold it all in. It was a bit endearing. “I couldn’t believe this place when I first saw it. It really is rather impressive.”

She couldn't help but think he had a nice smile, though it seemed like he was the type of person who didn't do it much.

"Impressive is kind of an understatement," she said, running her hand over one of the sides of a sports car that was probably named some fancy Italian word for cheetah or wild horses.

She looked back at Bruce. "Where were you before you shacked up with Stark?"

“Well, words are the only thing you will find understated around here,” Bruce replied, watching as she ran her hand along the side of the Jaguar. Her next question took him by surprise, though more for the wording than the question itself. His eyes shot back up to meet hers.

“Shacked up?” he repeated, his cheeks colouring slightly. She probably meant it completely innocently, but the term had taken on a certain meaning over the years and he didn’t really want her getting the wrong impression here, though he wasn’t sure why he cared. “I was in Calcutta before I was... asked to come back here and help with... well, you know,” he said, rubbing the bridge of his nose where his glasses would have sat had he been wearing them.

The surprised look he shot her was almost enough to make her laugh. She'd been teasing with the choice of words, but his reaction only made her want to tease him a little more. She bit the inside of her bottom lip to stop herself form laughing or smiling. Instead she raised her own eyebrows in response, watching the color move into his cheeks.

"Right, yeah, of course," she said, waggling her eyebrows the tiniest bit before nodding. "Tony Stark is a really busy man. I'm sure he needs a lot of... help." She turned away from him then, ducking her head to hide her smile. "So, Calcutta, huh? What was that like?"

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