It all goes so well when people don't see you, so it's easier to hide away. And why wouldn't you want to keep away from the eyes of others? You're hideous to the world at large, despite your own opinions of yourself, no matter if you're human or otherwise. You don't appear to be anything most would want to be around, much less befriend. If you're human, your appearance could be chalked up to mutation, a freak chance at birth, or an an accident later in life; if you're not human, you just happen to exist in a place where those who look like you would never be accepted by the mainstream. Maybe it's not even your whole appearance, though. Your point of contention could be something like an injury or prosthetic that makes you feel not whole, though it may be insignificant in the view of the kind and open-minded. There's more comfort in covering that up and not letting anyone get close.
In any case, you don't expect someone to love you, be attracted to you, or even want to be with you, especially a beautiful someone. Yet somehow, somebody does...or, at least, it seems that way. Will this new development last? Can you put your demons at bay long enough for it to do so?
HOW TO PLAY
- Comment with your character, canon, preferences, and whether or not you want shipping only or smut. Also, information about what side your character fits into best is imperative!
- Reply to others.
- Use the RNG to determine your prompt or choose your own.
PROMPTS
- Meeting | You've never seen anyone who doesn't balk at your appearance, but they don't.
- Growing Close | It starts as a friendship or an alliance, the grows to- more?
- Jealousy | There's no way they could see you as anything special. Surely, they have someone more handsome or beautiful in their sights.
- Realizing Feeling | At first, you didn't realize how your heart was feeling just by them being around, but now it's becoming clear: you're falling for them.
- Can't Tell Them | You'll ruin your bond with them should you tell them how you really feel. They'll be disgusted, so you'll keep mum.
- Touch | They touch you without a hint of distaste, which could be a big plus compared to what you usually deal with.
- No Difference | Actually, they can't tell that you're different, due to lack of vision or something similar. All they can discern is your personality.
- The Way It Used to Be | You didn't use to look this way, and it's hard to come to terms with your new look and how it affects
- Confession | You can't keep in your emotions anymore, or they accidentally get revealed.
- Good | They share your feelings! You never could have imagined this, but you couldn't ask for more.
- Bad | ...oh, you thought they...oh, they're so sorry.
- Scared | "Friendship" nor a "relationship" was never on their mind. In fact, they're scared of you.
- Cruel | All of their supposed kindness was actually just them using you for their benefit. To think, you really believed they cared about you!
- Defense | They step on the line for you, standing up to those who'd consider you a monster or somehow lesser.
- Uncovered | You're exposed and they can see everything you've tried to hide. You want to crawl into a hole and die. They want to keep you from feeling that way.
- Shouldn't Be | People oppose your relationship, and there may be some points to the arguments.
- Intimacy | Even being close, which most take for granted, could be a new and possibly uncomfortable event for you.
- Smut | The obligatory smut option, with all the baggage, angst, and difficulties that may come with it.
- Misunderstanding | You heard them insinuate that you're nothing but the ugly outside, or, at least, that's what you think came out.
- Bad End | The messy breakup option...or worse.
- Good End | The happy ending option...or better.
- WILDCARD
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bakerstreet2017-07-31 07:42 am
Gabriel Starling | OC | OTA
Comin at you with 2, 6 & 15
There was a fine line that Derek walked, one filled with side glares and hushed comments that he's grown to ignore. There were very few who tended to the care of lycans in the city and Derek happened to one of those few, after having given up his job at a hospital. He couldn't stand the way people seemed to talk about them or the glorified stories of those injured by them in some shape or form. Primarily, he worked and lived out of a remodeled apartment building towards the edge of the city, offering his services to those who needed them free of charge. Since he kept his job as an underground doctor to a number of respectable families, they paid him well enough to keep himself afloat and adding additions to the building for those that stayed there.
His mother didn't mind the work he did so long as he didn't get hurt doing it, she never wanted to see him on her operating table if he got too careless. In his line of work, he met Gabriel through one of his employers, quickly taking a liking to the other man when they first met after his nature was revealed to him. He always made it a habit to ask about the members of the family and their assets to provide suitable care if the time ever called for it. And with Gabriel being an asset to the Crane family, he sometimes had to clean up his messes if another rival family called him in.
Today, Derek found himself restocking his inventory, hitting up one of the few apothecary shops deep in the heart of the city. With the full moon, a few days out, he had to make sure his stock was filled as much as possible. He noticed that herbs worked best when treating lycan wounds when they had trouble healing on their own than modern medicine did but it didn't hurt to keep both on hand.
♥
Even without a calendar, it was easy to tell when it was almost a full moon - it seemed as though humans were almost more careful about tracking the dates than the Lycans were. They liked to know when they should be careful, when they should be double locking their doors, keeping their children close, carrying silver with them and giving any Lycans they saw in public an especially wide berth. It was ridiculous, really; Lycans never turned in public, preferring privacy and solitude for what always promised to be a painful, rather undignified process. When it was finished, they usually knew better than to go into the city, attracting unneeded attention to themselves. That's when things got dangerous for everyone involved. As for how accurate the numbers were on the news of how many humans had been attacked unprovoked, well...Gabriel didn't like to think about it. It only angered and scared him.
For the most part, Gabriel was good at keeping out of trouble. He'd endured some fairly horrific injuries over the years, but up until that night, they'd been delivered by only one person, behind the closed door of his employer's office. And up until then, it'd usually been Derek who'd taken care of them. Or at least, the ones that needed special attention or that he couldn't tend to himself, as he preferred.
Tonight Gabriel found himself very much in the wrong place at the wrong time. He'd overheard a man being attacked in a side street and, perhaps stupidly, intervened. It was only humans involved, but in an entirely predictable plot development Gabriel was soon left to deal with the three men while the original victim took his chance to run. That was probably for the best; he was less likely to die after a beating, he could defend himself.
In retrospect, he should have been more careful. People carried silver weapons - improvised or otherwise - with them like it was second nature nowadays. And while external silver exposure couldn't kill him, it'd stop him from healing for a while and leave some damned painful blistered bruising in it's wake. The times it broke the skin were the worst.
Only when he was sure that he was alone did he try to move, gritting his teeth against the fresh wounds, tasting blood and seeing stars. He couldn't stay here, he needed help - home wasn't a far walk, but there was no way he could convince his legs to do their job right now. No taxi would take him; taxis didn't tend to anyway - so instead he went for the next best option, hoping Derek was around as he texted him;
If you're around, I need help. Baywater Rd.
♥ ♥
Derek was in the middle of adding the jars of newly restocked herbs into several bags for safely transporting them home when he heard the familiar text notification that he'd set for Gabriel. He usually doesn't receive texts from him that often due to how frequently he made visits to the Crane household, so while this wasn't a total surprise, it was a little worrisome nonetheless.
- I’ll be there in 10 mins or less. If you can, describe to me where you are so I can find you. -
He was quick to reply to Gabriel's text, his hands turning to handle the jars with urgency now as he apologized to the older couple that he had urgent matters to attend to and couldn't stay longer. Baywater Road was only a few blocks down the road and while he could easily get there on foot, he didn't know what state Gabe was in to take that risk.
Derek took the bags and loaded them into the trunk of his car that he had parked on the curb, making sure to grab the medical kit he kept there before heading to the driver's seat and driving towards Baywater Rd. He was careful to drive slower the closer he got, searching for where Gabriel was.
no subject
He was aware that the directions weren't the most specific or indeed the most helpful, but he couldn't make himself get up and go somewhere easier to find. Now that the initial shock was wearing off, the full effect of the silver was starting to ebb through him. It wasn't as bad as wolfsbane, not much was, but it was damned painful none the less. Gabriel was used to it, but that didn't make it any easier to deal with in the moment. At least the knife one of the attackers had used hadn't been silver too; then he would have been in trouble.
There it was! The silver lining!
Not daring to move his hand from the wound on his side, slowly but surely bleeding against his palm, all Gabriel could do was grit his teeth against how badly he was hurting, make himself take deep breaths and do his best to ignore the pain in his chest and across his ribs. He didn't want to know what he looked like right now; a mess was probably an accurate assumption. Resting his head back against the brick wall behind him, he tried not to think about it. Just reminded himself that Derek was on his way. He'd be fine. What were a couple more scars in the long run, right?
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It took him a second drive through the street to find the side street Gabriel had described, he was never good at figuring out directions even the seemingly simple ones. The street itself was a little too narrow for him to drive through and simply pick him up, thus he left the car parked along the curb. Derek grabbed the medical kit and sprinted to the only person he could see against the brick wall, kneeling in front of the taller man and laying the kit at his side.
"Did you decide to play hero?" He asked softly, it was one of the only possibilities for this to have happened and the light in this side street wasn't the best to evaluate Gabriel's wounds in. Still, he can't help but place a hand gently on Gabriel's cheek, he never did like to see him hurt.
Derek's hand lingered there for a moment before he turned his attention to the task at hand. He opened the kit and fished out a pair of latex gloves, the best he could do for now was tend the other man's wounds enough to get him home, where he can properly care for him.
"Tell me what happened, Gabriel." He said as he reached out to where he was holding onto his side.
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"Something like that." He replied, hesitantly moving his hand long enough for Derek to take a look at the wound he had been concealing. He knew he was in good hands, but there would always be the fear of it being worse than he'd let himself believe.
"Nothing unusual...boy witnesses mugging, boy intervenes, muggers disapprove, boy resumes his role as a punching bag. It's a tale as old as time."
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Moving his hand away, he fishes through the medical kit for an antiseptic wipe to sterilize the wound. He tears at the wrapper before making quick, gentle motions of wiping the slow flow of blood away to get a better look, if only for the brief moment. Derek made the choice not to immediately treat him with rosemary until he could do a more thorough examination.
"The boy needs to be more careful for he's not indestructable." He knows his words may fall on deaf ears because he knows too well that Gabe would help someone if they were in trouble because he could take it. It doesn't stop that sense of dread that one day he might find him too late or Wolfsbane might be involved. A constant worry he holds too close to his heart.
"Let's get you home... can you stand?" He asks as he applies a piece of gauze for Gabriel to apply pressure on against the wound, placing the other man's hand back on his side. Derek tosses the wipe and gloves into a baggy he keeps in the kit before closing it, turning his full attention back to Gabe.
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Maybe he had been stupid, or maybe he should have defended himself better. He had the means to, the training, the strength -
but if he took it too far, he knew he could seriously hurt someone without really trying. It was better he just took the beating, did the bare minimum for himself. Better me than a human. That was what he wanted to say, but perhaps wisely he kept it to himself. While he didn't know that Derek worried about him, he didn't want to make him start now.
"I guess we're about to find out."
The question of whether he could stand wasn't one he needed to think about; he knew he could, but the inclination was for him to do anything but that. Gabriel wasn't one to swear, he didn't do it often at all, but making himself move now made doing just that very tempting indeed. Using Derek to steady himself, Gabriel simply grit his teeth and reminded himself that this wasn't nearly as bad as past experiences. So, in a stellar attempt to pretend he was more okay than he felt, after a few seconds he managed a small, shaky smile.
"So- your place or mine..?"
Like that was even a question; he didn't want to think of what his employer would say if he showed up back home in this state.
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"I was just about you ask you the same question." He couldn't help but laugh a little at being beaten to the punch. "I think it's safer if you came to mine though, plus you can have some of my mediocre cooking. If you want that is, I won't force it on you." His cooking was average at best, not too terrible but not four-star good either.
Derek smiled as he circled the front end of his car to get to the passenger side if his employer wondered where Gabriel was all this time before he had to take him back, well he'd just lie that he needed his help taking care of some personal business. It wouldn't be the first time he's lied to that man's face, no matter how intimidating he was. He's careful when he helps Gabriel into the passenger seat, it was going to be painful, he's sure, to get in and out again.
Once he was in, he jogged over to the driver's side and was quick to drive through the city to his building on the edge of town. This was probably the first time, Gabriel would see where he lived since Derek always came to him and rarely the other way around. The large man waiting for them in the building's garage might've been a similar sight to how things were at home. Dimitri was Derek's one and only personal bodyguard, a close family friend of his mothers whose been in this line of work for most of his life and has known him since he was adopted into the Lockwood family.
When he pulled up as close as he could to the bodyguard in waiting, he put the car in park and turned to Gabriel, "Would you like me to help you in or are you okay with Dimitri helping you?" He asked, wanting Gabriel to be comfortable and he was fine with either choice.
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He'd probably commented on it a couple of times in the past; how he always had Derek over but never the other way around. That one of these days it'd be his turn to play host. Just jokes to take the sting off of whatever Derek was doing at the time to patch him up.
Scanning the building as they drew closer, Gabriel raised a brow but made no comment until they'd pulled into the garage, where an oddly familiar sight met them.
"I should be fine, honestly." And then, after a pause, "...but you know, if you see me about to fall on my face, maybe give me a hand. That'd be good."
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Dimitri, in turn, moved to open Gabriel's door, offering a hand if he needed it while Derek left his door open for his bodyguard to take care of the car as he grabbed the bags of his replenished stock from the trunk. Returning to Gabriel's side and guiding him inside.
The interior of the building was as minimalistic and open concept as they come, one wouldn't nearly expect based on the rather old and run-down exterior. The overall theme felt like it was ripped out of Tron with its illuminated lobby floor and soft glowing lights under the steps of the stairs, that led up to the residential rooms. As if on cue, three young faces appeared leaning against the rails from the second floor, watching them with curiosity.
The medical area was located on the other side of the lobby, evident only by the large bulletproof glass wall that separated it from the rest of the room. A design decision he made of not wanting to let anyone bedridden in his ward to stare at bland walls like normal hospitals but instead at the soft changing lights. Derek led Gabriel into the room, placing his bags on one of the counters near his stock cabinet.
"If you'll have a seat there, please." He motioned to one of the beds, pulling what supplies he needed to properly tend to Gabriel's wounds.
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He was glad they had this place as an option. If he'd known Derek back when he'd been thirteen or so, perhaps things might have been far more different for him now.
Taking in the interior as he followed Derek further inside, Gabriel was already taking note of the different scents; not something he'd advertise, but it wasn't something he could really avoid either. Though when he followed his friend through to the medical area, he was more than happy to set himself on the bed closest to him, easing himself down with a suppressed sound of discomfort.
This next part he wasn't looking forward to at all, but the sooner it was done with, the better. He'd never liked going to the doctor, even when he was human. Now it was just...worse, somehow.
"So...the three upstairs, have they been staying a while?" 'Do they have homes' was what he wanted to ask, but perhaps in a minute. Perhaps a little more tactfully.
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After having found what he was searching for, Derek began setting up one of the moving trays with his supplies. A few antiseptic wipes, pieces of gauze, a few band-aids and the little jar of ointment.
“They’ve been here nearly three weeks now,” He furrowed his brow as he tried to recall exactly how long they’ve been around, “Though they tend to come and go as they please, sometimes coming back worse than when they left." He knows those kids have it rough, they've told him as much about their family situation after one of them got bit before the other two were. "The eldest got bit first and his family didn't take that news lightly, I found him one night in some alley walking home from a job. Shortly after the other two came around and well..."
He paused mid thought, rolling the tray closer to where Gabriel was sitting along with one the rolling stools, he kept nearby. "Um...Raise your arms so I can help you take that off. " He said as he pointed to his shirt, wouldn't want that to get in the way. His story telling can wait for a moment while he put on his gloves, they worked better as a distraction anyway.
no subject
When the tray was rolled closer to him and Derek told him to raise his arms, there was noticeable hesitation before Gabriel just tried to do it himself. Shrugging his jacket off was somewhat easy, but eventually he managed - with help - to get his shirt off as well. His breath hitched, drawn in through gritted teeth as his more injured side protested the movement.
New wounds covered old scars and marks, the fresh silver in his blood making them ache uncomfortably and making the new injuries hurt more than they had any right to.
He didn't look at Derek, just down at his hands or straight ahead. He hated people seeing his body, even doctors. Even Derek. Perhaps especially Derek, because he'd seen him so many times, because he'd always notice when Gabriel had new ones. Or at least that was Gabriel was convinced of.
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Those scars of his were the most heartbreaking and yet, one of the most beautiful things he's ever seen. The way the ones affected by silver were different than regular scars fascinated him.
He placed Gabriel's shirt where he had placed his jacket, quick to turn his attention elsewhere when he turned to grab an antiseptic wipe to clean off the dried and still fresh blood clinging to Gabriel's skin. He sat down on the stool, scooting himself closer, he wanted to comfort Gabriel but he thought it best once he was done patching him up.
"... The other two kids found a way to get themselves bitten so the oldest wouldn't be alone in this and well, you can imagine why there here too." He returned to his story as he gently cleaned Gabriel's wounds. "I didn't want them to stay on the streets like I did," he said quietly, Derek rarely talked about his past and often pretended that that part of his life was a horrible nightmare that never happened.
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What does get a reaction however is Derek's explanation for why the other two teens are there. Gabriel looks up at him as he processes what he's just been told; they got themselves bitten...for their friend? They went through all that so that he wouldn't be alone?
It's such a surreal concept to Gabriel he almost laughs. Unprovoked Lycan attacks, or rather, attacks for the sake of turning humans are ridiculously rare. After all, they don't need to turn humans to continue the species, they can do that the old fashioned way. But the idea of seeking out this life...and doing so so young...
And then Derek's quietly sharing a piece of his history, one that fits all too well with Gabriel's own experience when he was younger.
"Well...perhaps that's your true calling. Forget being a doctor; just buy a mansion somewhere and open it up to all wayward Lycans." Despite his deep seated discomfort, Gabriel makes himself smile for Derek's sake. "There's no way that could go wrong."
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Derek can only imagine how strange these teens sounded to Gabriel right now. Seeking the bite so willingly to form their own makeshift little pack. At least they had each other and a place to stay unlike what their parents did to them, leaving them to fend for themselves.
"My mom would get a kick out of that..." He gives a light chuckle as he tosses the dirty wipes in a trash bin on the cart. Grabbing the little jar of rosemary gel in turn and smiling softly up at Gabriel," But I can't afford a mansion, let alone being able to feed all the mouths that come through. Though... I'll keep it in mind and maybe it'll happen one day." It was a sweet idea but it'll be a lot of work and he'd need some serious help maintaining it.
Derek dabs his gloved finger in the gel and gently spread it along all of Gabriel's wounds. "You should start feeling better in a moment or two." The gel was fast acting compared to powdered rosemary and the relief should start almost immediately. He waits a moment to see it kick starts his healing to determine if he needed to wrap him up in bandages.
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This is all said as lightly as he can make himself speak. The pain isn't so terrible, not really - but Gabriel's still tense as a spring, eyes only glancing at Derek when he feels it'd impolite not to, his smile doing it's best to stay present. He's trying to relax, trying not to show just how much he hates this. the fact that Derek knows him better than most and can likely tell this fact is besides the point entirely.
Just the smell of rosemary is comforting in of itself, and while there's a bit of a sting as Derek begins to spread it across the open skin and into the wounds, the relief really is almost instantaneous, with the effects ebbing through the skin and muscle within minutes. When it starts to set in, Gabe feels himself release a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.
At least the worst of it's over; he's just hoping Derek lets him get away without bandages this time. At least then he can put his shirt on sooner.
Derek has no idea what he's doing skjfdg
"I know how much you want to put your shirt back on but please wait a few more minutes." Derek gave him an apologetic look as he got up and scooted the tray and stool off to the side. Heading for the sink to wash his hands, it takes him a minute or two before returning to Gabriel. There was something that he's been wanting to tell him, to try and make him hate his scars less (if that was even possible).
He knows what Crane does to him, he's lingered outside that office door more times than he can count, just listening. Gone before anyone even knew he was there and powerless to stop his employer from hurting Gabriel the way he does. It was like an unwanted series of flashbacks of how his own parents treated him before he ran away to the clinic, making him realize just how much they had in common in some aspects. Derek reaches for Gabriel's hand, holding it with both of his own, trying to find the right way to go about this. It wasn't just about trying to offer some sort of comfort but allowing him to reveal a part of himself he's tried to hide and bury for so long.
"I know you hate them and I've noticed how much this makes you comfortable, every time I've had to patch you up, I've noticed." He starts, lifting their hands and places Gabriel's hand on his own chest, over his own scars, away from the ones he just patched up with his hand on top of his. "He doesn't deserve someone like you.." He clenches his jaw for a moment before continuing,"... but these are just as beautiful as you are, even if you don't think so."
Derek remembered his mother saying the same thing to him when he came in that night, bruised and hurt, wanting someone to tell him he was good enough. That he deserved to be here and not... wanting his brother instead.
honestly neither does Gabe, this'll just make him short circuit
He doesn't distrust Derek, far from it. The man's seen him in terrible condition, at quite literally his lowest points. He's seen him breakdown, he's seen him cry, seen his temper bristle or, even more rarely, he's seen it flare.
But then he's always managed to soothe him, comfort him. Even if it just meant talking to him or not talking at all. He often goes beyond what a doctor is expected to do. And for that, Gabriel respects him immensely.
They don't know a huge amount about each other really, and yet Gabriel counts Derek as someone he's closest to. Not that that's difficult; other than Christian, he's quite alone in the world, or so it feels the majority of the time.
When Derek takes his hand, Gabriel doesn't protest. It confuses him a little, but he doesn't pull away. It feels nice, regardless of whether or not Derek means it to. When was the last time someone held his hand..? When he was a kid, maybe? He can't remember.
As Derek speaks again, Gabriel knows he should look at him. Thank him for his kind words, maybe joke them away as men tend to. But he can do none of these things. He only wants to shrink, wants to disappear. He doesn't think Derek's lying, because that's...he's not a liar. He's just...incorrect.
His scars, the souvenirs left by silver and Wolfsbane, they're not beautiful, he can't see how they could ever be construed as being so. Nothing inflicted with that much cruelty or hatred could be beautiful, how could they be? Nor is he himself. He's not ugly, not really, he knows that somehow - but he's not what Derek's describing. He's just him, he's nobody, no one.
His jaw clenches for a moment, eyes downcast, head half-bowed as though that might help the floor swallow him. But the hand under Derek's curls just a fraction, squeezing just enough to let him know he appreciates the sentiment behind the kind mistaken words.
"...You don't..you're not obliged to say things like that to me. If Christian told you to..I'm fine."
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"It's something you need to hear and be reminded of." Derek's not going to force Gabriel to look up at him or believe that his words are true, he can do that when he's ready to. When Gabriel mentions Christian, however, he has to take a moment before continuing. While he is employed by the Cranes, he's only interacted with Christian a handful of times.
"Christian didn't have to tell me to do this..." He knows well enough that Christian is more than capable of voicing his own thoughts on the matter and delivering them his own way to make Gabriel understand their importance.
He swallows hard, closing his eyes before taking a deep breath. Derek's always played off the scars he's about to show as some made by his own mistakes, be it in a fight somewhere or otherwise if he was ever asked about them. Everyone he's ever slept with, trace the outline of them and still ask and Derek comes up with a different story for them every time because why would he open up some chained up closet of his past to someone he may never see again.
Derek takes his hand back from Gabriel's chest to lift up his shirt, enough to show a series of raised, thick, jagged scars that snaked from the back of his ribs on his right side, down his front till they disappeared behind the hem of his pants. They weren't the only scars his father gave him but they're the most prominent besides the one across his nose. He can forget the smaller ones but these... these served as a reminder of his parent's grief inflicted upon him.
"I understand what he does to you. I'm there when he takes you into his office and I know." Derek has to believe that Gabriel's picked up his scent when he leaves Jacob's office on more than one occasion.
He picked up Gabriel's other hand, the one not currently still on his chest, as placed it against his scars. While he's no wolf and will never truly understand the pain that silver and wolfsbane give, he's seen and heard it. And that's enough for him.
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What hit him first was sympathy, pure and simple. Anger came second, directed entirely at whoever it was that marked him so badly. This then mixed like oil and water with guilt that Derek was showing him at all. He shouldn't have to- he didn't need to. He would never have asked him to prove it if he'd told him what happened instead. Gabriel knew how much it must have taken Derek to share this with him...and if he was being completely honest, he had no idea what to say to really convey that.
He's...touched? Touched that Derek trusts him enough to open up, even if it's only a little.
'I understand what he does to you'. That alone puts one hell of a crack in the wall Gabriel was desperately trying to rebuild here; dries his mouth, makes his chest heavy. Was he made to stay close? Oh, God...did he listen?
Well, not that that mattered. Derek had to deal with the aftermath most times, it didn't matter if he was there for the main event as well.
But still, Gabe can't keep from tracing the line of one of the longer scars that ran down Derek's torso, stopping mid-way down before pulling his hand back altogether, like he had just been caught trying to steal something precious.
"...I'm so sorry." After a moment's hesitation, he made himself look up, bit by bit. "I'm sorry that happened to you." Swallowing thickly, his eyes dropped back down to his lap as quick as a heartbeat. "..I don't know if I should thank you for showing me, but it-..it means a lot that you did."
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When Gabriel's hand leaves from following his scar, he slowly pulls his shirt back over them, his grip tightening on the hem as his other hand gripped his arm, "I-It was a long time ago and I..." He bows his head, his voice quiet, "I...deserved it."
Derek always wondered if it was wrong to say that, that he deserved to be marked for something that was beyond his control. His therapists, his mother, the elders at the clinic, they've told him for years that it wasn't his fault and yet, he still believed that it was. That his older brother died in that accident because of him. Died trying to protect him by taking him away from that house in the late night hours to get away from a heated argument their parents were having, on a mission to get ice cream until a car drove straight into them.
His brother didn't make it but he did and with his brother gone. He was alone for so long. Truly and utterly alone. To his parents, they lost their favorite son and were left with this kid that took him from them.
"Birds of a feather flock together, right?" He looks up at Gabriel with a sad smile, even if he's not looking at him. Derek reaches out again, gently putting his hand on Gabriel's, "You don't have to thank me. Just please believe me when I say that you and these..." He hesitantly raises his other hand and places them over Gabriel's scars, "are beautiful. No matter the cruelty behind them. They're a part of you and I love all of you. Even the parts you want to hide and wish disappeared."
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"..What?"
This isn't an easy conversation by any stretch of the imagination, but that Gabriel can say easily. Not angrily, not quite - but still in haste, like he needs Derek to know that whatever happened to him was down to whatever happened, nothing else.
"No, you didn't- no one deserves that. It doesn't matter what happened, you...you didn't do anything that warranted that response."
It's not a statement he's always great at applying to himself, and he may not know what happened to Derek all those years ago, but the idea that he blames himself for it...that makes Gabriel angry. not at Derek, of course not; but at the people in the world who think it's alright to abuse others.
So when Derek reaches out to touch him again, when he tells him again that he's beautiful, telling him that he loves him, even in a platonic sense...that only drives the nail in deeper, and he finds he needs to swallow back the lump forming in his throat, focus hard on not crying then and there.
Instead he straightens up, breaking contact for just long enough to pull his shirt back on, haphazardly doing up the buttons as he gets to his feet. He's still sore, but that's pushed right down in favour of him reaching out and pulling Derek into a hug. It's not too-tight, but it is possessive all the same. Possessive. Protective.
Neither of them can change what's happened to them up until now, but for what it's worth, Gabriel can do his best to make sure Derek doesn't get hurt like that again.
(no subject)