TFLN

[toastysocks]

mom pls

Comments

1

[yesterdaysheadliner]

Juice? You might at least have dreamt that it was booze.

[spaghettimonster]

THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE EXCITING! BUT NO. IT WASN'T EVEN A JUICE I LIKED.

[yesterdaysheadliner]

How wretched. What was it? One of those strawberry kale monstrosities?

[spaghettimonster]

KALE LIKE THE LEAF??? IS IT STILL JUICE WHEN YOU START ADDING LEAVES??? OR MAYBE NEGLECTING TO REMOVE THEM, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE JUICE.

NO, THE SINK JUICE WAS GRAPE.

[yesterdaysheadliner]

All excellent questions, friend. Whoever first got it into their head that kale belongs in juice should be dragged into the street and shot.

Good lord, grape juice. You poor creature. How did you survive.

[spaghettimonster]

I'D SETTLE FOR REVOKING THEIR USE OF THE WORD JUICE. MAYBE START THEM IN A SURPRISE QUIZ SHOW, ABOUT WHY THEY CALLED IT THAT.

IN THE END, I DON'T THINK I DID. I TRIED TO GIVE IT TO THE DOG, BUT HE SAID HE'S ALLERGIC. AND I TRIED TURNING IT OFF... THAT JUST MADE THE FAUCET RUN FASTER!!

[yesterdaysheadliner]

Yes, those quiz shows are devastating.

Death by faucet-juice. I'm sure there are worse ways to go... Though I'd be hard-pressed to name them.

And this is why I don't do dogs: they never come through when you need them. Well. And there's the smell.

[spaghettimonster]

AND THE WAY THEY'RE ALWAYS STEALING BONES, AND FOOD. IT'S BEST NOT TO LET DOGS INTO YOUR HOME. HELP THEM RESIST THE TEMPTATION TO BE TROUBLE.

[yesterdaysheadliner]

You sound like a public service announcement... No insult intended. Could be precisely the PSA the world needs.

[spaghettimonster]

I'M ALWAYS WILLING TO WARN PEOPLE ABOUT THE RISKS OF DOG.