TFLN

[toastysocks]

gobble gobble

Comments

3

[chardismastic]

and suddenly i have even more questions
starting with
what the hell

[seekingmyfortune]

yeah that's the same damn thing i asked the cops when they took me in
apparently i fit the description of some guy who recently robbed a jewelry store
took me 6 hours to convince them i didn't have anything

[chardismastic]

except champagne and butter apparently

which again- what the hell

[seekingmyfortune]

well
i stole them both on the way out
they really shouldn't have retirement parties where everyone can walk by

[chardismastic]

okay that takes care of the last six hours and the champagne but

i'm still stuck on the butter

[seekingmyfortune]

what about it?
i'm out i needed some more and it was there

[chardismastic]

you can't afford five bucks for a couple sticks of butter you have to steal cop butter??

jesus christ do you need help figuring out a grocery budget or something

[seekingmyfortune]

yeah you going to give me my daily allowance?
i ran out today asshole it saved me a trip after i spent the day in an interrogation room

[chardismastic]

i was thinking more like a charitable donation
you know
like seeing a hobo begging on the corner

and you could've called you know i'm kind of used to bailing you out by now

[seekingmyfortune]

well if you want to donate thousands of dollars to a good cause who am i to stop you?

[Jackass.]

rafe the first thing you learn is that you never want to stick around the scene of a crime after you've stolen something
besides the fresh air was a welcoming change. i mean jesus have those guys ever heard of deodorant or what

[chardismastic]

thousands? sorry who was talking about figures like that

[ YEP what you gonna do about it Drake ]

no idea because me personally
i manage to avoid law enforcement types :)

though i meant a call when you got picked up in the first place you might not have had to sit around so long

[seekingmyfortune]

isn't that the minimum donation you rich guys are supposed to make to charities

[not going to share my champagne that's what]

yeah you just stab them instead maybe it's a good thing you haven't been in jail since then

and i didn't think it would take so long
also i may have punched a guy but in my defense he tried to do it first

[chardismastic]

there's no minimum though there is a maximum that can be deducted from tax forms at the end of the year and that's most people's yardsticks in this sort of thing
also it's dependent on being a "good" cause which i'm not sure you qualify for

[ Whatever it's probably nasty supermarket champagne anyway. Keep it. ]

oh my god it was one time i don't make a habit of stabbing people

jesus christ sam this is the sort of information that should be shared up front
in fact it's information that should be shared with the traditional one phone call you get when picked up by the cops

[seekingmyfortune]

okay but if you only give five dollars to a charity you'll look like an asshole
and what the hell is that supposed to mean i am a great cause

[yeah you're right it is. Still, free stuff is always better so more for me!]

you can't just say that like you did something embarrassing you want to forget that's not how stabbing a guard works

what can i say things got a little heated
the guy was being a jackass and tried to hit me so he could handcuff me
they wouldn't give me my phone call after that

[chardismastic]

i don't know i'm already pretty set as an asshole so not much disincentive there
also ha

[ Maybe that's the reason Sam dresses all in denim because it's thrown away in the trash. Aka "free." ]

i was actually embarrassed about it and would prefer to forget it thank you

okay before i was just annoyed with you for being stupid again but now i want to bust these assholes like a couple pinatas
i can get lawyers on this you know

[seekingmyfortune]

no argument there
what do you mean ha??

[NO HE'S DRESSED IN DENIM BECAUSE IT'S DURABLE AND LOOKS GOOD ON HIM]

who was it that was just saying they avoid law enforcement types?
besides i gave the guy a nice broken nose before they broke us up pretty sure i saw some tears
and they let me go so

[chardismastic]

the idea of you as a great cause is just hilarious

[ BULL HOKEY. IS IT A DARE? ARE YOU BEING SPONSORED BY LEVI??? IS THERE A DENIM CAM SOMEWHERE FOR YOUR NEW DENIM REALITY SHOW???? ]

i avoid law enforcement types
lawyers aren't law enforcement what are you new

except that could've been a new assault charge and
dammit sam i can't help if you don't communicate the problem when there's a problem that's how this works

[seekingmyfortune]

yeah? well i'm great enough that you bailed me out.

[MAYBE I JUST LIKE BEING COMFORTABLE IS THAT SUCH A CRIME]

i know that asswipe, but you'll be using those lawyers to sue cops
which are law enforcement types

what are you, my mom?
i didn't have a chance to call it's not like i expected this to happen today

[chardismastic]

that was different that was you being useful

[ A fashion crime LOCK HIM UP OFFICERS ]

sure but if you have the right lawyers you don't ever have to actually interact with the enforcement types yourself

no i'm your partner this is one of the various skills and assets i bring to the table
moron

[seekingmyfortune]

because i'm so great

[OFFICERS IT'S HIM HE'S THE ONE WITH THE POMADE]

jesus is this how you deal with all your business?

next time i get wrongfully accused and stuck in an interrogation room, i will call you
feel better, princess?

[chardismastic]

it's a limited field it's not like there are that many experts to pick from

[ Bullshit, you're not pinning this on me!!! Also seriously look at this smooth motherfucker you got no case. ]

no this is how i handle business that would look shitty for me to be directly involved in and can be handled by lesser personnel

respectively thank you and bite me
i'm sure you can figure out which is for which

[seekingmyfortune]

pretty sure expert is a step up from being great so thank you for the compliment and proving my point

[okay it's true Rafe does have nice clothes....]

wow you must be popular at your business meetings.

[chardismastic]

you can have useful knowledge and still be not great so you can keep your thanks cause your point's bullshit

[ And nice hair and a nice couple other things. ]

there's a reason i avoid them