That famous lawnchair handcuff dance

[thelongcon]

Handcuffed Together Meme

There's the cool sensation of metal around your wrist, followed by a sudden click as you realize you've been cuffed to someone else. With no way to get them off, and the keys missing, you're going to have to get used to being stuck together for now.

There's got to be some way to get rid of them...

Leave a comment with your character name, canon, preferences and any relevant information.

Challenges:
1 - you're both cuffed on your dominant hands, or some other strange combination of body parts

2 - you're cuffed to more than one person

3 - how short is the chain?

Comments

KRIEGER | ARCHER

[petprojects]

[tactlenecks]

"Oh-my-God. It just had to be you. Of all people."

Okay, maybe Archer's being a little harsh. Krieger's not the worst possible person he could be cuffed to, he's just - Krieger. Holographic-anime-waifu-Krieger. Creeper-van-Krieger. Cyborg-Katya-Krieger.

"Don't you have like - acid on you, or something?

-not that kind of acid, the kind that can melt this chain."

[petprojects]

Acid? Sure—Krieger's already digging into his breast pocket with his other hand, and then Archer goes and disappoints him.

"With the proper application, that kind of acid could easily melt this chain! Don't doubt the drugs, Archer." Krieger pats his pocket again.

...well, maybe one should doubt the drugs when they aren't there. Damn. When did he do that?

[tactlenecks]

"Ugh."

Archer doesn't have much room to play the blame game - if he took his job half as seriously as he took his drinking, he'd have something on him that could easily take care of this chain.

"Well, how about your lab? There's got to be something there among all your cloning tubes and hybridized pig-boys that can take care of this."

[petprojects]

"Weeeell, about that." And God, did Archer really have to mention hybridzed pig-boys? At this sensitive moment? (R.I.P. Pigby.)

"I may have... kind-of-sort-of locked myself out." Or locked something in, technically, but Krieger isn't going to mention that unless he has to, so shh.

[tactlenecks]

"Greaaaaat."

A dramatic sigh.

"I guess-"

Oh, God. Is he really going to do this?

"-IguessMothermighthavehandcuffkeysinherdesklet'sgo."

[petprojects]

"Sorry, what was that?" Oh, he definitely heard that. But having an audio recorder on hand at all times helps out, because with a subtle(-ish) click of a button, he waits for Archer to repeat himself. Having more leverage on Archer's always good.

[tactlenecks]

"I said, Mother might have handcu- oh-my-God let's just go."

(Sorry, Krieger. Your day will come.)

A hop, skip, and some handcuffed jumps later, and they're in front of Malory's desk.

"Okay, so seeing as you're actually - pretty terrifyingly competent at your job...has Mother gone through you to install any more trap-like doohickeys since I last broke into it?"

(And found that-which-shall-not-be-named.)

[petprojects]

"Damn," Krieger mutters. But it's true, Ms. Archer might have handcuff keys in her desk, along with all the other cool things she keeps in there. (He's amazed she hasn't tracked down her lost pepper spray-lipstick to him yet.)

"When did you last break in? I haven't made any changes to Ms. Archer's desk since... two weeks ago? I rigged the keyhole to explode when jostled hard! Or vibrated, in case someone tries to pick it."

[tactlenecks]

"-so pickproof locks. You installed pickproof locks."

Archer raises his hand, shaking the chain by which they're attached.

"Bet you're kicking yourself for that now, huh."

Huh, smarty-pants.

[petprojects]

Krieger ignores that last comment, and most of the previous one. He points abruptly at someone's desk, yanking Archer's hand with the movement.

"Look! Over there!"

[tactlenecks]

And lo, Archer takes the bait!

"Over where-"

[petprojects]

And Krieger brings his other hand the other way round to hit Archer right in the face. Assuming impact is made, he starts to yank him along.

[tactlenecks]

"OW! WHAT THE SHIT, KRIEGER?!"

Then, as the yanking starts:

"No! NO! NOOOOO!"

Then, to top it off:

"LANA! KRIEGER'S KIDNAPPING ME! -TO POSSIBLY TURN INTO A MUTANT PIGBOY, BUT REALLY IT'S IRRELEVANT! I'M TOO AWESOME TO BE PUT IN A SPECIMEN TANK!"

[petprojects]

Good God, man. One would think Archer was being kidnapped by a serial killer!

So, okay, Krieger might technically fall under that category, but look.

...he's got no excuse. What he does have is motivation. He pulls at the handcuffs again, trying to shout over Archer. "I'm not making more pigboys! I promise! Just kidding, my fingers are crossed. I mean, nothing's happening, no need to look!"

Krieger makes another attempt to haul Archer along. But for all his (questionable) genius, he's not much stronger than the average man.

[tactlenecks]

"LANA! LANA! LANAAAAAAA-"

And then Archer conveniently remembers he is a CIA field agent and Krieger is a lab geek with a holographic anime waifu. By all rights, Archer should be far stronger than him.

-unless Krieger suddenly picked up a gym membership he didn't catch wind of.

Cue Archer planting his feet and yanking hard on his side of the cuffs. Like, he-wants-to-make-Krieger-faceplant hard.

[petprojects]

Archer's salvation is nowhere to be seen. Even his best attempts at freeing himself just result in Krieger being thrown forward, and indeed smashing his face onto the top of a desk.

"Owwww! Archer!"

[tactlenecks]

"Don't 'ow Archer' me, you freaky little wunderkind. We are staying here until you get me out of these cuffs."

Because this is probably his fault. Somehow.

[petprojects]

"What? There's nothing here I can use to get these handcuffs off, we have to go look for... things." Yes. Things. Krieger rubs his nose with his free hand mournfully and looks back down at the cuffs. Unfortunately they're showing no sign of giving.

[tactlenecks]

"Uh-huh, sure. Itemize these things, Krieger, or we're staying right here.

-on second thought, depending on how things are going with that holographic anime waifu of yours, that might actually be an incentive."

[petprojects]

"Well." Krieger tries to spread his hands, but is obstructed by the handcuffs. He sighs and puts his hands back down at his sides. "That's the advantage of modern technology. Archer."