(no subject)

[lifehacked]

In Paris, Ernest Hemingway and James Joyce were drinking buddies. Joyce was thin and bespectacled; Hemingway was tall and strapping. When they went out Joyce would get drunk, pick a fight with a bigger guy in the bar, then hide behind Hemingway and yell, "Deal with him, Hemingway. Deal with him!" ( source ) ANOTHER BARFIGHT MEME

Comment with your preferences in the header: would your character start the fight? are they stuck defending someone who absolutely does not deserve it? both? make it up and go bruise something.

PROMPTS
1. your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries! — look, if you're going to pick fights in seedy bars, maybe find some better insults. nobody wants to take your bait, and the only person listening to you is laughing.
2. all elbows and knees — one of you bumped the wrong hulk today, and they ain't taking no apologies. time to make a friend defend your incredibly clumsy honor!
3. thief, thief! — everybody knows that the best way to get away with looting someone's pocket is to make sure they're distracted with a swift punch to the nose.
4. but it wasn't me, officer. . . — you didn't pick this fight. you don't know what's going on. none of that matters: doom is coming after you with tattooed knuckles, and your only hope is convincing someone amazingly reluctant to help.
5. we roll high. — who cares how the fight started? one of you's got cash riding on the outcome of this brawl and they don't care what they have to do to get that payout.
6. there's a bear in the bar. — you might be thinking, "what the hell is even happening in this meme?" that's because your priorities are wrong. forget logic. fight the bear.

Comments

danny rayburn | bloodline

[causing]

[ pretty much any scenario works! ]

chaos | Xenosaga

[failsafegod]

(His incessant smiling would probably drive someone mad.)

Guibu | Heroic Legend of Arslan

[bardofalltrades]

(He wouldn't be 2 or 3... Probably not 1 on his end either. But you can add him (unintentionally) flirting with your girlfriend)

Mahsa | OC | All

[venefic]

[Can fight her own fight but will laugh hard to make you fight hers.]

[aureinsof]

[Look. Being a summon is hard. What the hell is going on? What is this place? He has no idea but he knows whose fault this is.]

Hey! This better be important!

Dorian Gray | Confessions | All

[depicted]

[He was probably there when Joyce did it.]

6

[wwjd]

[So there's a priest in the bar and he's getting ready to fight a bear.]

Lisa Lisa | JJBA | All

[hamom]

[Makes her students fight people who rudely hit on her. May make you fight if you try to hide behind her.]

NUMBERS

[unoradinary]

[Whoa, whoa, bothering hamom? Not happening. ...she's actually not sure what they're doing at a bar, but as if she'd question Lisa Lisa's teaching methods when they've been so radical up until now.]

Oi, sensei. I can't just ignore what that guy said about you!

[Probably something terrible like "hey baby are you a master of an ancient martial arts involving channeling sunlight because you're hot"]

I'm gonna go over there and teach 'em what for.

sera // dragon age: inquisition // ota

[titsicles]

alec hardison | leverage | hiding

[lifehacked]

[ he will spider-man out the window before he punches anybody, please don't make him do it. ]

root | person of interest | ota & all

[flawing]

[ but odds are good that God wants you to fight for her. ]

edward elric \ fullmetal alchemist \ all

[shortcut]

Holly | The Wolf Among Us

[barscenes]

[She's a bartender. There are many ways this could go down.]

Captain James Flint | Black Sails | OTA

[flinthearted]

[ Any scenario would be fine! If it's set anywhere but a pirate locale in the early 1700s, it'd have to be AU for Flint, but I'm open to that! ]

saruhiko fushimi → k → ota

[lockin]

[ 100% available from anime canonpoints; -1000% available for fighting anything, you thug. ]

[rosing]

[ witnesses saw a bear with a bar enter a club, says the emergency report that reaches s4 one day, yet another animal strain that's made shizume its home. fortunately, the bar isn't red clan territory. unfortunately, by the time one reaches the front of the bar, there are hysterical passer-bys claiming that a little girl had wandered in alone. by the time saruhiko enters, said girl and bear are having a conversation, ]

If you want to work here, you have to learn to make drinks.

[ tilting her head, anna turns to saruhiko, blinks, and smiles as she looks back to the bear, who has one paw on the countertop. ]

This is Saruhiko. He'll grant your wish.

Morrigan | Dragon Age

[courtintrigue]

(Maybe not starting any fights without a good reason, but she's always happy to finish them. Bonus points for bears.)

Peter Guillam | Tinker Tailor Solider Spy / John le Carré's novels

[circus_cupbearer]

[Might look like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth, but he's a trained spy with a bit of a violent streak. Won't start a fight, but won't back down from one either.]

winging this

[greatdragon]

While this man had never been inside of a bar, he certainly knew what the establishment was for. He moved with purpose, almost fluid in his movements as he walked to the bar. But he didn't order a drink. He helped himself to the closest one at hand. The great Smaug asked for nothing, took what he wanted. Even if he was trapped in this weakling of a human body, his ego was still that of a dragon.

Charon | Fallout 3

[andiwillfollow]

[Well he's a bouncer so this could work in a few ways.]

Zidane Tribal | Final Fantasy IX

[catchathief]

if you thought i would go with anything but 3 you don't know me very well.

[unpetrified]

( the thing about being in cahoots with one ( 1 ) zidane tribal means that you're pretty much setting yourself up to go along with any sort of hairbrained idea the kid comes up with, and while they all usually tend to work themselves out along the way, there are never any fewer than a handful of kinks in his carefully-laid plans.

this time, though, it seems to be going a little better than either of them had previously predicted. the plan had been to liberate a few wallets from pockets and make a discreet exit, and while he will never doubt monkeybutt's ability to pilfer what he needs, the proper course of action for this particular plan had been something that blank himself hadn't really expected.

especially since he is essentially being used. being used to make it easier for the other to make out with their loot, and even though he's sure there had to have been other, better options, this is all they have going for them, and damn it all … he's gonna make sure it works.

he's in the middle of picking his target – eyes pouring over the crowd until he catches sight of what looks to be a pretty-far-gone guy with a glass still in his hand, swaying on his barstool even as he leans back to drain the rest of whatever is in it. he's not big, lean for his build, and while blank prides himself on being fast, he doesn't want to make a mistake and pick the Wrong Guy just on the off-chance that he ends up taking too many hits to the face for a couple of gil.

anyway.

he briefly makes eye contact with zidane before breaking away to stalk up to the guy on the stool, who really, really doesn't know what's about to hit him. quite damned literally. blank puffs up, squares his shoulders, and taps the poor sap on one of his. ) Hey!

I saw you lookin' at me. You got somethin' to say?

( never mind.

not even giving him time to respond.

this one lands a pretty square punch to the edge of his jaw, and damn it, zidane, you had better be watching for your chance or he is never doing anything for you ever again. )

Nero | Devil May Cry 4

[assholery]

5.

[oldrebellion]

I see you. ( it's thrown in nero's general direction as he dodges a poorly-thrown punch leveled at his shoulder, all but dancing on the balls of his feet as he follows up with a solid uppercut that sends this poor asshole flying into a table.

that breaks nearly immediately under his weight. the guy must really have a damn death wish, because he stumble-grumble-groans his way back to his feet pretty quickly and starts coming back in dante's direction like a man with a vendetta. to be perfectly honest, he has no idea how this fight had started in the first place, but it's apparently been going on long enough for some punk to start taking bets. dante can see cash passing through hands and going into pockets as eyes stay glued to the action in front of them.

what a little shit. ah, well … why not make some money while i'm burnin' off a little steam?

his opponent takes another mighty swing, and this one connects, though not as solidly as he would have liked, we're sure. it's enough to get a grunt out of our resident demon hunter, a mosquito-bite-tap glancing off of the hard muscles of his abdomen, and it's probably not fair that this one is a little bit faster than your average human – okay, it isn't fair at all, and he knows that – but he quickly counters with an elbow to the side of the guy's neck, and it knocks him off-center just long enough for him to point at nero with a smirk. )

When I win, I get half.

Melia Ryan | original

[bellachaotica]

dante • dmc4 • open.

[oldrebellion]

( so he probably started the whole thing.

and no one was surprised. )

[patricided]

[she's known him for how long now? there are better things to be surprised about than Dante picking a bar fight. like the burly dude that seems to think sneaking up on him is a good idea while wielding a pool cue. bad idea.

draining her glass she turns to the bartender.]

I'll bet you the price of that bottle of scotch that he wins.

[top-shelf scotch is a worthy bet right?]

Korrin Adaar | Dragon Age: Inquisition

[gatheringstorm]

[Let's fight a bear.]

omg YES the bear thing

[dragoon_pride]

[The tavern is way in the middle of nowhere and Kain rather likes that. It's well-stocked and cozy, a great place to relax for a few drinks after a long day of battling. Everything is calm and relaxed... Until the bear shows up. There's barely a warning, but then suddenly something comes crashing inside through a wall and growling. A big, fierce, angry bear has just crashed this party.]

[Kain immediately gets to his feet, spear in hand. Well. That's... not something you see everyday.]

martel ; fma:b ; open.

[sinuate]

dean winchester ► supernatural ◄ ota.

[automatically]

nero ♦ dmc4 ♦ ota!

[devilbrought]

surprise.

[maschinenpistole]

[ Why are they here? ... Doesn't matter. Suspicious call of some sort? Who knows! Yolo.

Kotoha's sitting at a table and sipping on... something... while Nero's off looking around elsewhere. She's mostly minding her own business, content to wait around until she's actually needed or they end up leaving. It's no skin off her nose! It's nice to get out and do stuff every once in a while. Regardless, it's time for a refill! And since it's so busy that she can't properly grab the attention of her cute waitress without getting on the table and dancing, she's going to save the poor thing some runaround and go to the bar herself.

Too bad that on the way, some drunk asshole decides to reach for her ass. ]

Shortcut: Hammer!!

[ Her eyes glow, her tongue sparks, and a rather sizable metal-headed mallet drops from the sky and onto the bastard's head, knocking him to the floor. And for about five seconds, there is absolute silence.

And then everything erupts all at once, and it seems like everyone is throwing punches!!

With a yelp that dissolves into a bunch of snickers hidden behind her hand, she dashes toward the nearest wall, hoping to stay out of trouble unless trouble comes to find her.

Oops~? ]

DEAN WINCHESTER | SUPERNATURAL

[baby_no]

yes, plz.

Gabriel is tempted to make a bear show up, just 'cause.

[lotsoflaughs]

Of course Dean and his winning personality had to pick a fight after several drinks too many. Clearly Gabriel should have hauled him out of the bar sooner.

Gabriel stays perched on his bar stool out of the way of the brawl with his drink. He might step in once Dean's received some major ass-kicking. Maybe. If Dean asks for help nicely. "Your brother might give you some more ass-kicking later for this. Just fyi. Or just lecture you to death."

The second one being far more likely, really.