the realistic college au

[forfun]

the realistic college au meme

comment with your character's name and canon in the subject header. use rng or pick one of the options below for your au scenario. I. living conditions 01. my roommate’s boyfriend is staying over so can I please sleep on your floor 02. all our friends are drunk 03. we live in halls opposite one another and i keep seeing you change in the window please close your blinds 04. you’re the RA and you’re trying to bust me for having hermit crabs 05. you’re baking cookies in the communal kitchen at 3am and I’m angry but also really hungry 06. clearly we’re both really uncomfortable at this party 07. you peed on my car. you were drunk. I was in the car. there will be hell to pay. 08. my friend dragged me to this party and I just saw my ex quick make out with me 09. sorry my roommate puked on your shoes 10. my roommate borrowed your contraband hotpot and managed to set it on fire II. chance meeting 01. it’s pouring and my final paper is in my backpack so I guess we’re stuck under this tiny awning together. do you think they’d deliver pizza here 02. waiting outside for pizza to be delivered but both of ours is super late 03. I know I keep coming to this [cookie/coffee/etc.] shop and for some reason it’s always your shift but don’t you dare judge me I need this for my sanity 04. I found your USB drive still in the computer (and potentially regret finding out what's on it) 05. you decked me in the head while you were playing frisbee golf 06. your school mailbox is right next to mine 07. what do you mean we’re under a tornado warning? III. campus community 01. I’m really passionate about this cause and I will give you this flier if I have to shove it down your throat 02. it’s 3 am and I’m still in the library studying for finals and I’m losing my grip on reality and I think I just saw a ghost 03. we’re the only two people in this club. what is this club even for 04. humans vs zombies, all bets are off, friendships mean nothing 05. I thought I was the only one who liked the waffle station in the cafeteria 06. we’re studying in the library and there are two people very obviously fucking in the stacks and we keep sharing embarrassed glances 07. what are you doing at this table at the career fair 08. I saw you sneaking captain crunch and cutlery out of the dining hall 09. my computer crashed and you’re the student worker at the IT center 10. we’re both on athletic teams that aren’t as cool as the football team and they give us shit 11. you’re part of the guerrilla theater club on campus and crashed my class for a performance IV. credit hour woes 01. hey I have to [photograph/draw blood/film/insert major here] someone for class, will you be my guinea pig 02. we’re the only people who ever talk in discussions it’s awful 03. group project 04. both of us turned up to the wrong room for this lecture and neither of us know where it's supposed to be 05. we’re both donating blood in the blood donation van in the quad to get out of the same class 06. wait, I actually have a competent lab partner? 07. waiting for office hours 08. we started racing up the three flights of stairs to class for some reason and we can’t stop 09. vicious battle over the only left handed desk in the room V. limited resources 01. you keep using my preferred shower stall in the floor bathrooms when I’m trying to get ready for class 02. you keep parking in the space outside my student house you absolute asshole 03. you're the only person in the room when i break the printer and i'm panicking (so don't be a dick about it please) 04. neither of us bought the expensive textbook but there is only one copy in the library and it can’t leave the building 05. this awesome professor only has one TA slot and we’re rivals 06. you keep reserving the good study room in the corner of the library with the windows 07. I’ve been sitting in this seat all semester why did you decide to sit in it today 08. you’re REALLY GOOD at using the right search terms for the academic databases and I’m on a deadline 09. we’re always at the fitness center at the same time and end up competing on the treadmill 10. can I borrow a dryer sheet? I ran out and the ones in the vending machine give me a rash

scenarios taken from this post on tumblr. originally posted here.

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NEW VERSESSSSS (1-1)

[ex_outofcontrol435]

[He's sitting outside one of the dorm rooms with a foul look on his face, toying idly with a zippo lighter and occasionally glaring back at the door on which his back rests. The small whiteboard on the door reads Bobby in neat small caps and John in a more scrawling hand - whoever this is, Bobby or John, he's been kicked out of his room and he is unimpressed. By now he probably should've gone elsewhere, but he's in sweats and a t-shirt with his feet bare and it's the principle of the thing, really.

Abruptly, he slams one hand against the door as hard as he can.]

That the best you can do, loverboy? I don't hear any screaming.

[Go to hell, John! comes a female voice from inside. Ah, so he's John. And the situation is now clear.]

[broil]

I think you're supposed to ask if you can watch. Nicely.

[Don't mind me, just passing by.]

[ex_outofcontrol435]

They're not gonna get much of a choice if they don't start going to her room pretty damn soon. I'm not leaving next time.

[Who the hell is this anywa - oh, hi there. John's eyebrows shoot up. That's definitely a floormate he hasn't met before.]

[broil]

Aren't you kinky. Voyeurism to prove a point - assert your property! Way to go, macho man.

[he's clapping and everything.]

I'm impressed.

[ex_outofcontrol435]

[Okay, hot but obnoxious. Could work with a gag, if he's that into kink.]

John, just this one time, can you not be a dick? [A male voice this time.]

That wasn't even me!

Then both of y'all go away! [The girl.

With an irritable sigh, he pockets his lighter and stands up, glancing up and down the hallway. There's always the common room.]

You heard 'em.

[broil]

So we don't get to stick around for the screaming? Now I'm sad.

[but hey.]

Where are we headed?

[who invited you...]

[ex_outofcontrol435]

Trust me, dealing with her's not worth it.

[One eyebrow goes up this time as he looks the stranger up and down, trying to make it look like a critical appraisal. No one invited him, that's who, but he still can't tell whether or not the guy's worth his time.]

I was gonna go to the common room, steal a bag of someone's popcorn and see what's on TV until I get my room back. Dunno about you.

[broil]

[child please.]

Guess I'll do the same. My room's free, though.

[shrug. Lead the way, he's just incredibly bored.]

Salty or sweet?

[ex_outofcontrol435]

[Apparently he has got company. He does indeed lead the way, casting a look over his shoulder.]

Anything but butter and salt on popcorn is a travesty. What floor are you on? I haven't seen you around.

[And he'll just be rooting around the cupboards of the communal kitchen, even though nothing in it is his. No popcorn. Shit.]

Looks like it's chips. Sour cream and onion. [Head in the fridge.] And Coke. If they go like last time, I'm not sleeping anyway.

[broil]

[Oh dear.]

Just got here. Transfer student.

[Should John look back at him to check if that's the truth, he'll just flash one of his best smiles.]

Don't be so jealous, it doesn't suit you.

[ex_outofcontrol435]

You don't even know me. Do you want a Coke or not?

[He does peek out, just for a second, and he's struck again by just how attractive this guy is. Still not sure if he's worth the annoyance, but John'll keep him around a bit longer.]

Didn't know people transferred into college. Anyway, I'm not jealous. I want my fucking bed, sleeping on the couch here gets old as hell after awhile.

[broil]

[he's smirking still, showing him a soft shrug.]

So change rooms. Can't be that hard.

[can it?]

Mine's free.

[eh? eh?]

[ex_outofcontrol435]

[No answer, so he only grabs a Coke for himself, tossing the bag of chips to Petre before closing the fridge and heading to the couch.]

Me and Bobby went to high school together. He'd be such a bitch about it if I moved out. [That's it. That's the entirety of his reasons. Once the can's set down and the remote located, he flops down on the full length of the couch - either Petre gets his feet or he's sitting on a chair.] I'll take the spare bed tonight, though. How'd you dodge a roommate?

[broil]

[Bag of chips. Hm. Very interesting. And he watches as John takes his rightful seat, apparently not making any future moves to join him.]

And? You're being a bitch about this right now. Saves you the trouble.

[another shrug.]

Got rid of my last one.

[ex_outofcontrol435]

[Okay, now he's getting a really unimpressed look.]

I get closed out of my room for the night and I'm being a bitch? He's being a selfish dickhead. Doesn't mean I want him whining at me forever because I finally got sick of it. [YES THAT IS TOTALLY THE WHOLE REASON.]

You - got rid of him. [There's a little grin at that, hesitant more because he's waiting to hear if it's a good story than because he's at all nervous with that phrasing.]

[broil]

Yes he's being a selfish dickhead, but here you are bitching about it anyway, and doing nothing to change the situation.

[it's aaaall so simple.]

Can you blame him? He's got a girl to screw. You've got a Coke.

[ex_outofcontrol435]

[He presses his lips together very tightly for a moment, not mentioning that Bobby's had considerably better right in reach for ages but persists in being obnoxiously straight. It's not the deep emotional sharing hour, especially not with this cocky asshole.]

Whatever. Go back to the old roommate. [He wriggles his way up so that he's seated enough, back against the arm of the couch since his focus has been drawn away from TV, to crack said Coke open and take a sip.]

[broil]

[gaaaay]

Er. Didn't I mention I got rid of him.

[js]

Boy, we are touchy.

[ex_outofcontrol435]

Yeah, and that sounds like a better story than the dick I have to live with. So spill.

[Is he eating those chips or not? John gestures with one hand for Petre to toss them over.]

[broil]

[no.]

Fucked him. Took a picture and sent it to his girlfriend. Told him I'd send it over to mommy and daddy if he didn't get out.

[standard stuff? throws over the chips because he's bored now.]

[ex_outofcontrol435]

[His eyes go wide, very wide, and his reaction is uncertain for a moment - then he's laughing so hard he can't breathe, so hard that the chips just smack him in the face and bounce off onto the floor and he ain't even mad.]

Holy shit, dude, you don't go halfway.

[broil]

[as long as one of them is laughing.]

Some of us actually get things done. What can I say?

[ex_outofcontrol435]

[That shuts him up pretty quickly.]

You never had friends before or something, Blondie? It's not that easy. Strangers, random assholes, sure. Not friends.

[broil]

He's a stranger to me.

[lifts both hands?]

[ex_outofcontrol435]

[And just what the fuck does that mean. His eyes narrow sharply before he grabs the bag of chips off the floor, finally turning on the TV and starting to channel surf.]

Stay out of it. This shit's got nothing to do with you. Who the hell are you, anyway?