let's ring in the new year with some good old fashioned tfln

[ldfsh]

you know the drill!

Comments

[welltrained]

I don't know what I was expecting but I'm heartbroken anyway.

[broil]

always keep your expectations low with me buttercup

so what's the story

[welltrained]

You know

if I knew I'd tell you

but my head's aching like someone took an axe to it and i'm in no shape to tell if that's metaphor or fact

[broil]

you're well enough to keep texting me without typos so i'd take that as a good sign

[welltrained]

teacher always said bad spelling was how satan sneaks his way into your life

and then she'd smack the back of our knuckles to make sure the lesson stuck

[broil]

was that her kink or yours

ps she was obviously wrong

you spell just fine and i'm still in your life

[welltrained]

hers, definitely, knuckles don't do it for me

and i never had any aspirations to heaven so really i'm not surprised

p.s. this ditch is actually surprisingly comfortable

[broil]

mind if i join you then

[welltrained]

please do

your company would be delightful

[broil]

just dont expect me to haul your ass out of there

im just coming to point and laugh at you

[welltrained]

fantastic. you truly are the soul of comfort and charity

tell me, do bullets have any effect on you at all? because i can and will shoot you, you fucking bastard

[broil]

oh, so you finally want to make me scream like i asked you to

[welltrained]

ready and willing, sweetheart

[broil]

all i ever needed to hear

cant say i never believed in you

[welltrained]

i'm so honored

but seriously if you actually want anything more than me shooting you in the fucking foot then you're going to have to help me stagger someplace else.

[broil]

sigh, fine

question is

how the fuck do i find you

[welltrained]

wait do you NOT have magic locating skills?

i am so disappointed

[broil]

im a demon not your mother

[welltrained]

you're saying that like my mother wasn't a demon

no that was terrible she was a wonderful woman I just couldn't resist

anyway i think i can drag myself out in search of landmarks give me a few minutes

[broil]

i'll be sittin' waitin' wishin'

[welltrained]

[Like twenty minutes later...]

Okay so it turns out I was in the alley behind the bar? I found a cafe though, the barista is adorable and she gave me a scone for free.

[broil]

you fucking dog.

so you've managed to waste my time. how are you going to make up for that? hint: that scone won't cut it.

[welltrained]

What can I say, even when I look like shit I know how to turn up the charm.

How exactly have I wasted your time? It's not like you came looking for me. Or are you so enchanted by my conversation that you can't possibly concentrate on anything else?

[broil]

like i said, i was waiting

you held my attention for longer than anyone ever should

time: wasted

[welltrained]

I'm touched.

All right, how's this: give me a few hours to get back home, cleaned up, and feeling like an actual human again, and then you can come over and corrupt me however you damn well please.