bakerstreet | Sleeping together.

Sleeping had been a lot harder since the accident for a number of reasons. Not only was he plagued by nightmares but sometimes he just couldn't shut his mind off, so to speak. Thoughts, broken thoughts most of the time, were constantly going through his head and the only way to make them stop was to keep busy, leaving him to sleep in short bursts.

At least, that is, until he'd gotten closer to Mack and started to trust him more.

The growing trust had led to Leo hanging out around the other more and more, finding reasons to seek out Mack's company and ultimately realizing how safe he felt around the other man. It was that thought that had led Leo to showing up at Mack's door some nights, fidgeting and unsure about the request he had but it was just easier. Everything was just easier around Mack.

Tonight was one of the night's he'd sought the other out in his quarters but it had gone from just company to sleeping fairly quickly, the scientist exhausted from a few days of inconsistent sleep. It was nice to actually sleep for several hours at a time and when he started to wake up? He found himself debating if he should; if it was worth it. Because with Mack at his back like they'd ended up? It was kind of..perfect. And warm. Very warm.

The first night Fitz turned up at his door, Mack was undoubtedly outdone and unsure of the request but it was the bags that had begun to form underneath his eyes from lack of good rest as well as all the fidgeting that ultimately told Mack to just go with it. After that first night he thought nothing of it, didn’t care if anyone else did either. It was just one more way he felt like he was helping and protecting Fitz because how could anyone not feel that way about the guy, like there was a need to do so?

It was also the first time Mack realized just how small Fitz was. There were nights, much like this one, where he’d stay up and just enjoy holding the smaller body to him, how well they slotted together like matching puzzle pieces. And this time Mack didn’t have to talk the young SHIELD to sleep, he just…drifted off on his own.

And maybe it wasn’t just Fitz getting something out of this; Mack had to admit that it was nice not sleeping alone for a change, even he knew there was someone lying beside him, that was enough for him. Though, sometime in his sleep (and it happen every time) his arm slipped around the Scotsman’s waist and tucked his face to his shoulder. It’s usually the only time he slept without waking from tossing and turning.

It was the dreaming of being trapped underwater that pulled Fitz out of his sleep and it was unfortunate because it had been so nice up until that point. But dreams were a constant source of problems for him when it came to resting so it was no big surprise.

Fitz just wished it hadn't chosen this night, of all times, to happen.

Trembling slightly in Mack's embrace as he reminded himself mentally that he was okay, that he wasn't underwater anymore and that he and Simmons had survived, the urge to jerk out of the embrace was strong. It was confining and therefore terrifying in a way but a few minutes of careful deep breaths and focusing his thoughts helped Fitz to calm down. He rests a hand on Mack's arm to ground himself, absently shifting himself backwards to press closer and allow himself to attempt to match the other's breathing.

Maybe he'd be able to fall back asleep.

Edited 2014-11-15 22:54 (UTC)

It was the trembling and sound of quickening breaths, almost panting, that had woke him. He knew what was happening, perhaps not the dream itself, but knew Fitz was panicking and he could probably guess correctly about what the first time. Mack remained perfectly still, waited until the other calmed himself down and if he couldn’t, Mack would help.

“You alright?” Quietly asked as Fitz pressed back against him some more, careful not to startle him that he was awake for most of what he could only assume to be a panic attack. He had to wonder if this is what Fitz experiences on a nightly basis when he’s alone at least or maybe it’s just sporadic.

Whatever the case may be, Mack was there for support, rubbed slow circles into the smaller male’s stomach because that’s where his hand happened to be at the time.

It's things like this that make Mack so easy to be around. He understands how to handle Fitz's freak outs and he's patient. It makes the scientist feel a lot less uncomfortable and smothered and when Mack does speak? When he starts rubbing those comforting circles?

Fitz hardly even flinches.

"I...it was just a bad dream," he murmured, really not too keen on talking about it even though he knew he probably should considering it wasn't just a random occurrence. Sometimes it happened every night, other times it would be a few days. But it definitely wasn't going away anytime soon.

Closing his eyes, Fitz squeezes Mack's arm gently, a silent thanks for being, well, him.

"I didn't mean to wake you."

Really it all just boils down to experience with other ‘broken’ people he’s known in his life before, treating others how you’d want to be treated. Fitz wasn’t some wounded animal they all treated him like, he was just another guy, a friend that needed a helping hand a little extra attention and patience… Maybe even a friend, someone to talk to.

“Okay,” Mack responds easily and let go of the question, clearly it isn’t something Fitz wants to discuss. Mack continues to rub random shapes into Fitz’s belly, nuzzling his shoulder at the squeeze to his arm and chuckles out lightly.

“Don’t worry about it, Turbo. I kinda knew what I was getting myself into when I let you in. Besides, it’s only—,” he leans up just enough to catch a glimpse of the time and returns to his original position, Fitz like a body pillow clutched to his chest, “a little after three in the morning. Still time to get some more sleep.”

There’s a moment’s pause after that, he can’t avoid it any longer. “It’s about sinking, right? The nightmares?” Talking about it could help, holding it in definitely won’t.

It's odd to be around someone so openly affectionate; Fitz isn't use to it. He'd never even really dated anyone. Science had always been his main focus and his SHIELD training didn't leave a lot of free time. But Mack never ceased to amaze him with how gentle and physical he was; how willing he was to make time to be that way. It made Fitz feel like he was...like he was the center of someone's world for a few minutes and it was relaxing.

Any remaining tension eases out of him as Mack shifts then immediately resumes their cuddling position, Fitz feeling safer than he has in a long time wrapped up in the other's arms.

"Still sorry..." he murmured, sighing softly as he cuddles back against the other, only to go still when Mack speaks again. This was another thing about make that Fitz actually did appreciate; he was never afraid to ask, never afraid to try and figure out what was going on with the scientist. He was very straight forward and always trying to figure out a way he could help. It was a refreshing change from the others.

"...Yes," Leo whispered, shuddering some as he shifted before turning in the embrace Mack had him in so he can bury his face against the other's chest as he feels the panic starting to bubble up again.

People were no different from the cars Mack worked on, if there was something wrong, he wanted to know about it. And being that he felt incredibly protective of the small guy he was currently holding in his arms, Mack wanted to help as much as possible. Help Fitz confront the nightmares that’s been terrorizing him ever since the incident.

“Hey…hey,” Mack begins when the scientist turns in his arms and presses into his chest. He holds him tighter, combs long fingers through curly, brown hair – Fitz is safe. No one’s going to hurt him here. “They’re just dreams, man; they can’t hurt you out here. And you’re stronger than to let them scare you awake. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t have survived, but you did.”

What happened to both Fitz and Agent Simmons and a sad and terrible thing. Mack often doesn’t like to think about it himself, can’t imagine someone sick enough to do something like that, but it’s happened and a thing of the past. He just wants to help Fitz move passed it as well.

"I--I wish I believed that."

The words were muffled as Fitz presses closer, trying to relax; trying to calm down especially as Mack starts to touch him so gently and affectionately but it's hard too. He feels trapped in the sense that he'll never stop having the nightmares. That he'll never be able to completely get over what happened and he hates it. Fitz knows that he's okay; that he and Jemma survived and that things were getting better.

But it was hard to shake the fear that it was going to happen again.

"Mack.." the scientist whimpers almost, shaking his head as his shoulders shake. "I..I hate this. I hate this so much."

With Mack’s help he’ll believe it in time. A little damage to the brain hasn’t made Fitz weaker and the mechanic would convince of that, would help him become unafraid of the nightmares that persisted to haunt him at night. But for now, he has to protect and calm Fitz, first, hugging him even closer, both arms around him to engulf the smaller man in the heat of Mack’s body.

“Shhh… I know you hate it, Turbo, I know you do, but it’s going to take time to overcome and I’ll be with you every step of the way. How’s that sound?” When Mack does move, it’s merely to press his forehead to the top of Fitz’s head, still playing with his brown, coiled hair. “But first, I need you to relax, alright? Nothing’s going to get you while you’re with me. Just breathe,” he instructs softly.

He doesn’t like seeing his friend like this and if it means he misses out on the rest of his sleep to help Fitz through the night, so be it.

There was something so beyond comforting about the way he could just get engulfed in Mack's embrace; Fitz honestly would never get tired of it. He'd never felt as safe as he did when he was around the other and it was a feeling he didn't want to lose ever.

His hands, even the one that doesn't work quite as well, manage to clench tightly in Mack's shirt and he absorbs what the other is saying as he presses his face into the other's shoulder now.

"I..right. Yeah, I know. I know," he murmured, forcing himself to try and take a deep breath and while it was shaky, he did manage to do it--once, then another time, and then a third time.

The fact that Fitz believed he was safe with Mack made his lips quirk into a short smile, though, he must’ve known that before when Fitz first showed up at his door earlier that night. “Good, good. Keep on breathing just like that until you’re relaxed. Deep breaths.” Mack continued to encourage gently. Not that he needed it, but it felt like therapy for himself.

He allowed his eyes to shut for the moment, just listening to the shaky breaths the little guy took. He’d be fine and Mack would do this every night until Fitz no longer needed it. For now though, he was going to enjoy the company while he had it.

Sleeping together.

/slowly inches in here, going for A

hi there ^_^

BD BD BD

poor Fitz

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/silently weeping over the latest episode as she types

don't! have faith