Guybrush Threepwood, Mighty Pirate (tm) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
a_pirate_meant_to_be) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
bakerstreet2014-06-20 11:10 pm
a_pirate_meant_to_be) wrote in bakerstreet2014-06-20 11:10 pm
The Hangover Meme
THE HANGOVER MEME
Sure, we've all seen the "Morning After" meme. But let's face it: Sometimes waking up in bed next to a total stranger is the BEST possible outcome to a night after too much hair of the dog.
So here's how this meme works:
1.) Pick a character.
2.) Options:
a.) Put your character's name and canon in the header. The person replying will roll on the good old-fashioned RNG, and the scenario can play out that way, OR:
b.) Pick a scenario, and use the header to announce that rather than your character and canon.
Your options are:
1.) Obligatory "Wake Up In Bed With Someone" -- Not to steal the thunder of the OTHER meme, but you gotta have this option somewhere.
2.) You're in Jail! -- So much for not having a criminal record. Looks like it's time for a buddy to bail you out.
3.) Where Did my Clothes Go? -- This is only mildly awkward. Let's hope you have cover. Or conveniently placed objects.
4.) Where Am I? -- We pray for your sake this one isn't combined with #3.
5.) I'm Pretty Sure I Didn't Have This Last Night -- Excuse me, did anybody misplace a llama? No?
6.) "I <3 Mom" -- That sure is a tattoo all right! Hope it's not anything embarrassing.
7.) I Didn't Mean It! -- Wow, you don't remember what you said, but your buddy seems to have gotten entirely the wrong impression. Your choice on whether this made them mad or... something else.
8.) Vegas Marriage -- We're pretty sure you can't really call this "holy" matrimony, especially with all those poker chips in your pockets.
9.) Isn't That You On the Poster? -- Looks like you pissed off somebody you probably shouldn't have pissed off. Time to run!
10.) Wildcard -- Gotta have a wildcard. Pick one of the above, or just make up your own dang scenario.
And remember: Next time, drink more water between shots. Have a nice day.
Tony Stark | MCU | OTA
1 + 3 + 4 + Milan
There are downsides, of course. His strength halved, his speed hampered, his durability and healing drastically reduced(and, of course, the absence of his magic which Loki spends much of his time actively trying not think about in length), but with the bad comes...a startling amount of good.
With the bad comes a ridiculous man with more money than propriety and his own streak of brilliantly bright mischief, who is clever and entertaining and talented and unapologetically doesn't understand the word moderation.
In other words, he suits Loki just fine for a temporary source of sanctuary while he figures out how to leave this planet and restore himself back to Asgard.
But in the meantime, a detour into a bit of fun here or there certainly won't be refused and he's more than a little pleased that Tony is plenty happy to take off half way across the world at the drop of a hat for the promise of too much alcohol and plenty of absurdly attractive people to share it with.
The officials hosting Milan's fashion week may be well aware of the reputation that Tony Stark brings with him where ever he goes, but they had been woefully unprepared to deal with both Tony and Loki at the same time.
He remembers plenty. He remembers watching the models on the catwalk and making idle comments with Tony about who looked preferable to who. He remembers letting Tony work them back stage half way into the show and together earning more than just a few interested gazes as they ignored reporters trying to get a soundbite and greeted designers who snapped at assistants to bring them more champagne and offered invitations to exclusive afterparties that they may or may not decide to grace with their presence(and mostly do).
Somewhere into the night, however, things began to get slightly hazy.
His once admirable alcohol tolerance, it seems, happens to be on the list of 'cons'.
Mostly Loki remembers a lot of skin against skin and a lack of sleep and drinks that never stop being poured and something about a harbor because if anyone knows how to throw a party to remember, it's apparently Tony Stark. What he doesn't remember, however, is falling asleep though he obviously had to at some point to be blearily muddling through the haze of his mind now. The moment he cracks his eyes he immediately wishes he hasn't because he's come out of bloody battles feeling better than he does as he squints against the light seeping into the room and offers a rough, pathetic groan.
There are bodies everywhere. He doesn't even need to give the room a good look around to know because there are at least four sprawled onto the expansive bed he's tangled into and the first thing he notices beyond his splitting headache and the fact that his tongue seems to be intent on sticking to the roof of his mouth, it's that there is a very large lack of clothing involved all around.
Which isn't nearly as surprising as the fact that the bed he's in seems to be rocking.
No, the room seems to be rocking.
He's nude in a room moving on its own and he's horrifically, dangerously nauseous which is not helped by the realization that he can't actually say with any certainty he knows which country he's currently still in because he thinks he remembers something about Greece but nothing at all about why it was ever suggested.
Another disgruntled noise leaves him as he turns and buries his face back into the bundle of blankets he'd apparently been using as a makeshift pillow. He is not prepared to deal with this.]
Oh, Milan. You may never recover from these two assholes.
On the whole, he's felt worse the morning after. He's a bit fuzzy, a dull headache lingering in his temples and at the base of his skull, and the thought of food is distinctly unappealing, but beyond that he really doesn't feel too bad. A coffee and a shower and he'll be perfectly functional, so long as he can get away with doing so from behind protective sunglasses. Yawning, he props himself up on his elbows and squints blearily around the room. He's sprawled in the middle of the extravagantly large bed, along with several other bodies - alive, though a few of them will probably wish otherwise when they wake up - in varying states of undress. He's still wearing his shirt. The unpleasant way it clings damply to his skin brings back foggy memories of an ill-advised moonlight swim.
He rolls to his feet and stretches lazily. Navigating around an obstacle course of abandoned clothes and unconscious supermodels with the ease of long practice, he makes his way over to the bathroom.
He's in the shower when the logistical problems of a yacht party in Milan start dawning on him.
There have been far too many similar incidents in his life for him to panic over anything so minor, especially when nothing is on fire and no-one's life is in immediate danger. So he takes the time to finish what ends up being a rather leisurely shower, towels off, and dresses before wandering out on deck with an air of mild curiosity. There is at least land in sight, which is reassuring. They also appear to be at anchor. By all appearances the autopilot seems to have the situation under control, so he dismisses it as a future-Tony sort of problem and wanders back inside again.
He's still not entirely sure how they came to be on a yacht, given that they'd definitely started out in Milan, which is very much inland. But he's not really too worried about it. Sometimes the alcohol gods choose to take you on a magical adventure and it's better to just go with it.
There are signs of life from Loki when he finally comes back into the bedroom, though that might be a generous way of describing the weak stirring and pitiful moans that indicate a truly monumental hangover. A better man might leave him in peace. Tony, however, is a terrible excuse for a human being, and so naturally instead he sits down heavily on the bed and nudges him in the ribs]
Wakey waaakey [In the singsong tones of someone who knows full well how obnoxious they're being]
there are going to be like three dozen new laws created just because of this night
No, the only thing that Loki would like is to once more succumb to the blissful wonder of uninterrupted sleep until he felt less like a half dead thing that managed to crawl out from under the rock it had been stuffed under.
Which is incredibly, incredibly hard to accomplish when there is a despicable excuse for a mortal intentionally ruining his attempts at peace and sounding far too happy to do it.
The noise he makes in response is less groan than it is growl.]
Keep it up, Stark, and I'll rip your tongue out myself.
It's not a good night out unless you cause some new laws
Oh well. It's hardly as though they're in any great rush, and it certainly doesn't look like he's going to get any further intelligence about how and why they ended up on a yacht off an unfamiliar coastline from this particular source. He gives a small shrug and flops back down onto the bed]
You look like shit.
I would like to apply this rule to Vegas, yes good
Although Loki also should definitely not underestimate the power of vicious migraines and rolling stomachs because at the moment even breathing seems nearly too much effort to accomplish, much less causing anyone bodily harm.
He grunts in response to both the insult and sudden stirring of the bed as Tony's weight settles on it, a sound that's echoed by a few of the other bodies sprawled across the sheets. He cracks one eye enough to glare at Tony.]
And who is responsible for that?
[You, Tony. The answer is you.]