bakerstreet | Hello darkness my old friend...

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Hello darkness my old friend...

Dark AU Meme

One thing or another went awry, and your character is no longer on the side of the angels. Whether it's through brainwashing, a loss of faith, or just plain wickedness, the draw of the dark has proved much stronger than the call of good.

I N S T R U C T I O N S

1. Post with your character's name and fandom in the subject line! If you already have a dark AU for this character, this would also be a good place to link to any information about it.
2. Look around to find other awesome people who have also posted!
3. Pick a scenario or head over to the RNG to have one picked for you!
4. Tag them!
5. Horrors Profit!

S C E N A R I O S

1. Interrogation - someone from the other side has been captured and brought back, and it's up to you to get them to spill. Maybe you're just the best person for the job, or maybe they're somebody that you used to know. Either way, it all depends on you making them talk.
2. Reconnaissance - you're deep behind enemy lines now, keeping your eyes and ears open for anything useful you might come across. Take care you don't get caught.
3. Double Agent - maybe you're still secretly good but you're in deep with the baddies, or maybe you've never relinquished your inner wickedness but you've convinced the good guys you've changed. Make sure no one finds out your real intentions.
4. Brainwashed - whether through hypnosis or deceit, you've been convinced this is the side for you. But here's someone from your old life - maybe they can talk you out of it?
5. Defection - "I've been a fool!" You've seen the light and you're coming over to the good guys ... but is your contrition genuine?
6. Kidnapped - Either due to a mistake or the cleverness of the other side, you've ended up in their clutches. Just pray they don't have truth serum ...
7. Showdown - It's the final face-off. You against your arch-enemy. Only one of you can walk away from this, and you're determined that it's going to be you.
8. Punishment - you've fucked up. Maybe valuable information was lost or you let someone important get away. No matter what it was, it could mean defeat, and it's time to pay the piper.
9. Victory - You've won! The other side has been completely subjugated and you're planting your flag in their headquarters. Sounds like a chance for a celebration.
10. Defeat - ...or not. Everything went wrong and you've found yourself begging for mercy from the people you tried to kill. Hopefully they'll be more merciful than you would have been ...
11. Pick Your Own - combine, make up your own, have fun!

Due to this being a dark AU meme, there may be triggers, so tread carefully and be respectful so we can all have a good time.

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He's not going to let Kiyoshi keep making him step back. That really would be running away and he will not do that. Instead, he does the opposite and leans against the railing, planting himself in place. It's something he picked up from Mako-chan, a way of letting your opponent know that he doesn't matter enough to be worth even walking away from, let alone running. He doesn't pull it off as coolly as Mako-chan would, though; he's too keyed-up for that. He's just tense, one hand gripping the railing so he doesn't make the fatal mistake of folding his arms defensively across his chest.

There is an echo of the right degree of boredom, though, in the way he tilts his head and looks up at Kiyoshi, ignoring the first question in favor of the second.

"I wanted to play with my best friend. My only real friend."

His boyfriend for almost a year now, though they didn't even have to discuss it to agree that they would keep that to themselves. And even if they hadn't, he'd hardly take the opportunity to confide in Kiyoshi now. God only knows what he would do with that, considering his willingness to back up Hyuuga and his epithets.

(And if there's been distance there lately, if it's been harder to get Mako-chan alone and to keep him as long as he used to stay, if Mako-chan doesn't seem as interested in conversation or any other intimacies as he once was, well. He's busy, being both captain and coach, it would take a lot out of anyone. Reo can understand that. Mako-chan's time is valuable and Reo isn't the only member of the team entitled to a share of it.

And of course the share that goes to Seto-kun is a little larger. They have a lot of coordinating to do in the second half of games. It's vital that they stay in sync.)

(Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to.)

Teppei doesn't have room or right to be stung by Reo's answer, because it's honest enough and the kind of friendship Reo and Teppei had, if it could even be called that, was not one with consistency or depth. They got along well enough, as far as Teppei knew, but going to different schools often came with the disadvantage of simply not getting the same level of time with someone as you'd get if they were attending yours. So his pride isn't wounded on that level, he's instead discontent to hear it had been that bad for Reo, that Hanamiya Makoto had ended up becoming his only real friend.

That's what bothers Teppei the most and if he'd known the true extent of Reo's middle school experiences and the direct correlation between that and Reo opting to go to Kirisaki Daiichi.

Teppei doesn't advance any further and in fact his shoulders slump and a dejected and apologetic look falls across his face.

"Sorry. I never knew it that bad before. I wish I'd known. I'd have made sure things had been very different between us. You deserve more than just on real friend, Reo."

Edited 2014-04-22 13:51 (UTC)

That isn't what -

But Mako-chan is better at that, too, at making people focus on the tone rather than the content. He would have known to how keep Kiyoshi's attention where it was supposed to be, on the pointed exclusion and dismissal instead of the truth Reo had to use to deliver it.

As it is, Reo flinches, exposed and raw, his hand tightening on the rail.

"Don't give me that shit," he snaps. "You saw. Or did you really think some fucking platitude about teammates was going to fix everything? If you really wanted to try, you would have. Mako-chan did."

Somehow, even if Teppei is partially expecting a response like the one he recieves, it doesn't feel any less like a well-aimed kick to the gut to hear it. He's not sure he believes it either, not in such wholesale way at least. He can admit there is likely more he could have done and things he should have taken a more active role in, but regardless of that Teppei isn't so insecure or lacking confidence in himself or his actions that an accusation of that kind is going to have him hanging his head in shame or leave him feeling like an active participant in tormenting Reo. And he definitely isn't going to accept that Hanamiya Makoto stepped up out of the pure goodness of his heart.

"Is that what you think?"

His expression firms, eyes narrowing at the edges and his mouth pulling into a tight, displeased line at the direction this has turned.

"You're right, I did see. And any time I did I never once left you to deal with it alone. I never turned a blind eye to it. I could have done more, encouraged you to Seirin or Shouei, but you're right, I didn't do that. Evidently, Hanamiya did, but I find it very hard to believe someone like that would have such pure reasoning behind his actions."

He wants to defend Mako-chan, but he will not rise to that bait. Mako-chan's motivation isn't the point here, and anyway, what does it matter? It worked out in Reo's favor, didn't it?

(Didn't it?)

(Don't ask questions you don't want the - )

And if he wants to get into the subject of motivation, there's a better target for that here. He may never have been able to decide to his own satisfaction whether he thinks Kiyoshi's own motives were pure, but that doesn't matter either, because he knows which argument to make right now.

"Fine, yeah, so your conscience is clear. Good for you. And lucky for you that none of your teammates ever gave me shit in middle school, then you might have had to stop pretending sooner than you wanted to."

It's easy to take personal hits, to accept failings and resist untruths (even the kind that gnaw at the edges of his mind in the dead of night when he tells himself bitterly that, no, his conscience is not clear and he could have done more. Even if there are only so many hours in the day, only so much energy to spread around, only so places to focus attention... He could have stretched further. Should have stretched further.) but it's much harder to hear insinuations about his teammates.

Teppei isn't especially complicated, actually. His motivations are generally very clear, even if his actions are a little difficult to catch or slip past most people's awareness if they're not paying attention, but Teppei himself is not a complicated man: he wants what's best for the people he cares about and he'll put himself on the line to achieve it. That's the bottom line. He's pretty unwavering about those things and he's honest to a fault, but if there's something that drives right to his core and strips down his cool it's negative energy directed at this friends.

Is he that transparent, or is this the sort of thing Hanamiya would know as easily as breathing and passed on to Reo? Or is it simply osmosis? It's impossible to say, and really doesn't matter in the end, because Reo's words have Kiyoshi's expression firming and darkening instantly, eyes narrowing as he pins the other boy in his stare.

"My team are nothing like the people in your middle school, Reo. But if you're implying it's lucky for their sakes then I really do wonder what kind of person your team has turned you into."

Reo's own answering look is pure incredulity. Maybe he's never made up his mind about Kiyoshi's motives in middle school, but it only seems logical to him that Kiyoshi must know what his own captain is like. How could he not? How could anyone not know what kind of person their captain is?

"Stop lying to me," he says scornfully. "Your delightful captain would have fit right in on my old team. My new team just turned me into someone who doesn't take it lying down anymore."

Something tenses in Teppei's jaw as he grinds his upper and lower back teeth against each other and clenches his hands into fists at his sides. He'd never use those hands to take a swing at anyone, let alone Reo, but he can feel the annoyance at the direction this information impasse is swiftly taking the two of them. There has to be a diversion of energy otherwise there's no way this can go anywhere productive.

He can feel the emotional reply he wants to deliver to Reo's accusation building behind his teeth and laying heavy on his tongue, but he forces his lips into a small O-shape to exhale slowly, regulating that tension. He lets the sensation of the slow exhale roll over his shoulders and down his back, loosening the tautness from his muscles before leveling a stare on Reo more carefully and closely. Don't be blinded by the desire to defend...

"Hyuuga has his flaws, but we all do. He could do with increasing his areas of tolerance, but we're all flawed." He smiles weakly, and shrugs. "But you're wrong about Hyuuga. He wouldn't fit in your old team at all. You'd have found an unexpected ally in him, I'm certain. It might have even surprised him. But if Kirisaki Daiichi's attitude of standing up is to bring other teams to their knees in ways other than playing the game, how are you any different to your middle school team that treated you so badly?"

He steps to the side then to move the direction of physical energy, instead moving to stand beside Reo at the railing, hands resting likewise on the metal as he stares upwards.

"And you were never a pushover, even then. You weren't cruel though, Reo. What really happened to you?"

Reo tenses when Kiyoshi clenches his fists, not relaxing entirely even as he watches Kiyoshi forcibly calm himself. The tension returns as he listens to the other boy's little speech, and he uses it to spring away from the railing as Kiyoshi settles himself in.

He turns to face Kiyoshi instead, too angry to even try to hide it.

"He has his flaws. I wondered how you justified it."

Subject change denied.

"He called me okama and looked at me like I didn't deserve to exist, but that's okay because he has his flaws. The boys who beat the hell out of me in my first year, when I was still too small to fight back, they had their flaws too, right? There isn't much of a line between calling names and swinging fists, so either accept that your precious Hyuuga isn't so much better than them or at least shut the fuck up about it."

It's easier than Kiyoshi seems to think, to find yourself getting pushed further than you ever thought you'd go down a path you never should have chosen.

It takes effort to keep a level and clear head as Reo speaks, but he does manage it. It's not that Teppei is careless in his reactions as a rule or that he's unwilling to face unpleasant truths for the sake of saving face, but that doesn't mean it doesn't come without actively trying.

He closes his eyes, listening to Reo's voice rather than look at him and he doesn't disguise the grimaces when they come at all. It's unpleasant to hear these things said about someone he cares deeply for, someone who has been part of making his high school basketball experiences possible, but they are things that need to be heard so he can process what's being said properly.

There's a second or two of silence after Reo speaks leaving a silence still enough to hear leaves rustling in the trees as loudly as if they were wind chimes before Teppei draws in a breath.

"You're right. He shouldn't have said that to or about you. Or anyone else. It wasn't a justifiable thing for him to say at all."

His fingers flex against the bar behind him, then he stands upright, looking Reo directly on. "You're right it doesn't take much to move from words to actions, but there is a distinction between them. Still--"

He then bows low at the waist and holding his head down as he speaks.

"You might not believe it, especially after that, but Hyuuga isn't a bad person. He's really not. But Seirin is a reflection its members and its captain. Our captain's was rude to you. Even if I believe he's a good person, that's no excuse for his behaviour. So for that, I apologise on his behalf."

The gritty details and distinctions in Teppei's mind that set Hyuuga apart from the people Reo has described in his middle school can be left aside for now. He knows in this context trying to explain his dedication and overall trust of his captain would ultimately do very little right now except would Reo further. Hyuuga can undeniably have a bad attitude and a foul mouth on the court, which makes the apology genuine without detracting from Teppei's faith and trust in Hyuuga.

He stays very still though, holding that position even after he's done speaking.

That . . . Reo couldn't even have begun to expect that.

The apology is a surprise, the bow enough of a shock to make Reo's mouth drop open, but what strikes him speechless is the sincerity of it, and the authenticity of that sincerity. There's no questioning that authenticity, either, any more than he could question the wetness of water. It suddenly seems faintly absurd that he's ever questioned Teppei's sincerity, all of Mako-chan's seemingly solid logic on the subject dissolving into smoke, taking Reo's fury with it and leaving him to question himself instead.

- he should say something, he needs to find words, he can't even remember what would be formally appropriate in this instance, but that's no excuse.

"I - thank you," he manages after what seems to him like far longer than it probably really was. "Thank you."

Then, abruptly, "Stop that, stand up! You're the last person who should be apologizing like that to - to one of us."

He has folded his arms now, forgetting to avoid such a defensive stance, hands gripping his elbows. With his anger and defiance so suddenly and thoroughly stripped away, it's the only shield he has left.

Teppei blinks as Reo's tone alters so sharply, lifting his head to peer at the dark-haired boy with a somewhat confused expression before standing upright fully.

He draws an arm up, a large hand cupping the back of his own head to scratch thoughtfully as the frown that appears on his face creases his forehead.

"But I'm not apologising to Kirisaki Daiichi. I'm apologising to you."

There is definitely no intention to make Reo feel vulnerable and exposed, but perhaps that's the effect Teppei's honesty has in a situation like this and there's very little he can do about that really.

"Besides, what happened wasn't your fault. I don't hold you responsible at all."

Reo doesn't exactly decide to say what he says next; if anything, he's done his best over this past year to avoid even thinking it, but then maybe that's why he says it. With his defenses down, and the subject raised, he simply can't stop it from coming out.

"But I gave him the excuse he needed. I didn't mean to, but I did."

I hate seeing that look on your face, Mako-chan said, and Reo had fooled himself into believing it would be a one-time thing, but he hadn't had to chance to hold on to that delusion for very long. Kiyoshi was just the first of more than Reo wants to think about.

And it would have happened anyway, he knows that now. Kiyoshi would always have been the first.

But still, Reo opened that door when he glanced at Mako-chan to mark Hyuuga for revenge, set up the opportunity for the whole thing to look like an accident. Like petty mischief gone out of control. Maybe, maybe Mako-chan would have been more cautious otherwise. There's always the possibility, no matter how remote, that he wouldn't have found the chance to do anything at all.

There was the opening. The smallest glimmer that Teppei needed to confirm to himself that the Reo he'd known was still there. Of course, not in entirety because everyone is changed over time, but perhaps the most important thing is that Reo has regret, that he isn't like the rest of his team, not like Hanamiya Makoto.

"He is responsible for himself. If you're unhappy with what happened then I won't take that from you, but you're only responsible for your own actions here, not the ones he opted for."

He leans back against the railing once more, eyes lowered to the floor to watch the shadows dance across the concrete floor.

"Out of the five of us I always liked you the most and got along with Hanamiya the least. I was surprised when I heard you ended up with him. I thought you were better than that. Not exactly better than him--he's exceptionally skilled in some ways--but just a better person than him."

He glances up briefly, looking a bit apologetic "Ah, but that's a bit unkind to say behind someone's back, isn't it? Sorry."

Then he shakes his head.

"But it is true. You're so much better than him, Reo."

Reo is biting his lip, shaking his own head.

"Mako-chan is better in - other ways, he's, he sees things more clearly, he's stronger - not physically, but in the ways that matter - he isn't -"

Isn't the one who talked his parents out of making him transfer when he came home after his first year and they were alarmed by the ways he'd changed, even though he knew (in the corner of his mind he tries not to listen to) that they were right.

(There's no way they'll be talked out of it at the end of this year.)

(Reo hasn't even told Mako-chan about that.)

(It's not like he wants to leave.)

(He's afraid Mako-chan will find a way to convince them.)

"I stay, don't I? I do as I'm told. I may not have helped with you, but there have been others. I'm not any better than any of them."

Maybe he's worse. It is worse to do it and enjoy it, or to do it and know it's wrong?

"Who gets to say what ways matter more!"

Teppei is actually surprised by how much this gets under his skin and lifts his voice. He doesn't make any gesture to lower the volume now because he's angry--at Hanamiya, at himself, at the situation Reo has been dragged into, everything.

"You might stay, but I don't think that's all to it. I think you're kept as much as you stay. And I don't believe you're like them. If you were you'd speak differently about your team, you wouldn't look so ashamed and you wouldn't even be thinking twice about the things your team does. I'm certain that isn't the sort of player, or person, you are! But it's hard to pull away from something you know, even if it's bad, even if it's wrong. It's scary to draw away and go it alone. Teams protect their own, but there are limits to even that, Reo. You must already know that."

Reo has been having trouble maintaining eye contact since Kiyoshi's apology, his gaze going back and forth between Kiyoshi and the ground, but he starts in surprise and stares at Kiyoshi when he raises his voice, and doesn't look away once as the other boy speaks.

When Kiyoshi is done, Reo doesn't know what to say. Or, more accurately, he doesn't know how to give voice to any of the things swirling around in his head, things he's kept locked away for a long time.

So he falls back on one of the clear, solid truths that has become part of the foundation of his life in the past few years.

"Mako-chan has done so much for me for so long. I owe him."

If there's something Teppei is very clear on it's the fact the people don't owe anything to anyone who is using others for their own gain. He's therefore not convinced by Reo's attempt to defend his dedication to Hanamiya at all.

"You give things to people because you want to, not because you owe them. Especially not people who use other people like pawns and not friends. I don't even have to be at Kirisaki Daiichi to know you're being used and you deserve better than that."

He lowers his eyes then, the anger still churning up in his stomach but his exterior considerably calmer as he heaves a deep sigh.

"... If Hanamiya Makoto is excellent at something it's weaving people into positions they can't escape from easily. That counts as much for people he wants to keep close to him as it does for people he wants to ruin. That is what he's so good at--everything is a chess game and he's incredibly skilled at setting things up how he wants. You know this, Reo. The five of us knew each others strengths, it's what would have made us so formidable if we'd played together."

Shaking his head, Teppei gives a low chuckle.

"But... If we'd all have been on a team together I would have ruined it. Hanamiya's playing style would have been more than I would be able to accept. I'd have caused rifts in the team because it wouldn't have been acceptable."

He shrugs "Or... Maybe he'd be different now with someone standing up and breaking through his plans. I don't know."

But Mako-chan loves me, he wants to say, to interrupt with, except that it sounds silly and childish and -

(false)

- it's none of Kiyoshi's business anyway.

So he keeps silent while Kiyoshi talks. And talks. Reo wants to just tune him out, but he can't seem to manage it; Kiyoshi's voice pulls insistently at his attention, keeping his focus pinned in place. The last remark sets anxiety fluttering in his stomach at the thought of anyone challenging Mako-chan directly, refusing to play his way.

"No," he says uneasily, "that wouldn't have gone well."

Edited 2014-06-08 19:15 (UTC)

"Yeah... I think you're right about that."

He has a wry smile on his face and for a few moments allows his mind to wander before looking up to stare at Reo.

"I don't know about you, Reo, but you should know that I'm not afraid of him or what he's capable of. Tomorrow, I'll show you how Seirin play and how not even someone like Hanamiya Makoto would make us back down. We'll play our basketball against his... You should play your own kind of basketball too. I think it's better than anything Hanamiya would have encouraged in you."

He wants - he wants -

He remembers earlier, watching Seirin and feeling excited about a game for the first time in so long, remembers the casual remark from Mako-chan that quenched his excitement and left something too acute to be called disappointment filling up that empty space.

He wishes so much that he'd refused to go watch that game, because if he hadn't then he wouldn't have felt that excitement and Kiyoshi's words wouldn't be resonating the way they are. He'd prefer the humiliation of essentially throwing the game to Shuutoku to the way longing surges back up in him now.

He wants to play. His basketball, whatever the hell that even looks like these days. It doesn't matter. He just wants one normal game.

But the thought of rebelling so openly against Mako-chan makes him feel sick.

He's too overwhelmed for words, but they may not be necessary; it would be hard to miss the look on his face, longing and hopelessness mixed painfully together.

Teppei doesn't feel the need to fill silences he's not a nervous type or necessarily wants to hear the sound of his own voice at all. But this silence isn't a comfortable one and it's in the air around them, not a tension exactly, at least not directly between the two of them physically there in that moment, but Reo's discomfort is palpable to Teppei.

His shoulders sag with a short sigh released through his nose before he decides to take a chance. It might be a poor choice, but Reo looks so desperately like he needs something, someone to grasp onto--to grasp onto him, in fact--that Teppei is willing to take that risk. He steps forward and extends an arm with deliberate slowness until the tips of his fingers ghost against the dark strands of Reo's bangs and then reach further to lay his hand very gently upon his head.

He's expecting very much to have the hand smacked away and be told not to be so patronising, but belittling Reo is the last thing on his mind. He wants so badly in this moment to be able to give Reo something honest and steady to hold onto if he wants it, but more than that he want Reo to want it. He wants it so much that he's holding his breath while attempting to make this gesture of physical contact.

This time, when Kiyoshi moves toward him, Reo doesn't flinch. He closes his eyes when Kiyoshi's fingers touch his hair, tightening his arms around himself just a little, but he doesn't move away.

It's been a long time since anyone touched him like this. Mako-chan used to all the time, but he hardly ever touches Reo at all anymore, and when he does, it's not -

No.

(Something in him is tired of lying and especially of lying to himself, or he's too shattered to keep it blocked out, or maybe both.)

Mako-chan has never touched him like this, without expectation or demand or anything except honesty and hope. Reo could move away from Kiyoshi right now, without fear of reprisal, and he doesn't think - no, he knows Kiyoshi wouldn't press the issue. If he moved away from Mako-chan, he'd have to be ready with a reason why, and it would have to be a good enough reason, and he has yet to find a reason Mako-chan considers good enough to forgo whatever subtle punishment for rejection he'll come up with later.

Reo takes a shuddering breath, closing his eyes harder against the tears that suddenly spring up.

When Teppei isn't instantly pushed away he feels the air move slowly and quietly through his teeth as his hand rests fully at the back of Reo's head. This isn't the first time he's touched someone in this way, but it is the first time the touch lingers and cradles, supporting. Normally it's just brief pats, sometimes a bit harder than he's intending (Kagami's head can handle it), but nothing like this.

He can feel the shiver that works through Reo and as it does Teppei feels something clench in his stomach, a mixture of great sympathy for Reo and anger that things have gone in this way. It doesn't make him think Reo is weak though--tears aren't a sign of deficiency in his mind at all--but it's the fact that he's been brought to a point where he looks so lost and alone in that moment that he only vaguely resembles the Reo he knows.

It all makes his jaw clench before he suddenly pulls Reo forward to him so that his head rests against Teppei's shoulder. And once here's there, Teppei keeps his hand exactly where it is, holding Reo tightly to him, bringing his own head down alongside the other boy to keep him close and not caring one bit for how this might look to anyone. He still doesn't say a word because he has no idea what he could say that could convey his intention and feelings more clearly than what he's doing now.

Somehow, unsurprisingly for someone like Teppei, he's more furious at Hanamiya for this than the state of his broken knee and his long-term future in sports being in ruins. This, in his mind, is far more worthy of his anger and maybe that's why his own arm holding Reo to him is shaking, but he doesn't waver for even a second.

Edited 2014-06-21 19:56 (UTC)

Reo's movements are by far the smoothest and most subtle on Kirisaki Daiichi; if he moved this way and this, right now, Kiyoshi would be on the ground, knee out of commission for good, before he even registered the motion.

The fact that that is Reo's first thought, and that his reflexes are so primed by Mako-chan's coaching that it comes dangerously close to transmitting itself to his muscles, that his response to compassion now is destruction - his horror is so strong he can taste it and he finally breaks, burying his face against Kiyoshi's shoulder and crying in earnest.

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Gah, I'm sorry for the various travel-related typos in the last tag :( Bah!

Heh, it happens. No worries!

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