tfln

[ex_subjudice464]

you know the drill

Comments

Sherlock Holmes | Sherlock (BBC)

[consulting_freak]

i.

Have you ever just not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?

ii.

Hello, you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, Greenwich Mean Time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't. Call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.

iii.

I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??

ii

[theonewhocounted]

Well never mind then. I guess you don't want to come see the curious body that came in.

[consulting_freak]

Can't unless you want to ship it to Melbourne.

[A short time later.]

How curious? Skype?

[theonewhocounted]

Why are you in Australia?

Body covered in honey but not found near source of honey. Still trying to determine cause of death.

[consulting_freak]

Case.

Has the honey been filtered? Pasteurised?

[theonewhocounted]

Yes.

[consulting_freak]

We know one thing about the murderer. They've got bad taste in honey.

So honey from a shop smeared all over a corpse. Any wounds? How did they die?

[theonewhocounted]

No wounds or bruising. We're still waiting for the toxicology results.

It was less like they were smeared and more like dipped. Full coverage. None in the lungs.

[consulting_freak]

Killed before being dipped then.

Double-check you estimated ToD. Honey's a natural preservative and it would likely decrease the rate of decay.

[theonewhocounted]

I'll have them look into it.

Does Lestrade know you're away?

[consulting_freak]

Should he? I've only been gone two days.

[And he'll probably be back in two more.]

[theonewhocounted]

This is his case. I assumed he'd want to get your insights.

[consulting_freak]

That must be why he won't stop calling.

iii

[acclimatize]

I assure you, I can manage to feed myself. Even know how to use the toilet without being told to.

[consulting_freak]

Oh, I don't know. You tend to run out of fuel much sooner than I do.

On second thought, I've been feeding you fine for years.

[acclimatize]

Only because the truth is actually the opposite: I'm the one that's been feeding you.

[consulting_freak]

Really? I thought that half the time we go out to eat that you were the only one with a plate. Perhaps I've been mistaken this whole time.

[acclimatize]

You, sitting there, refusing to eat does not count as you "feeding" me.

[consulting_freak]

Why not? I could hold the silverware next time if you'd like.

[acclimatize]

No, I would not like.

I would like to see you eat when we go out.

[consulting_freak]

Then we should go out sometime when I'm not working.

[It really is that easy.]

[acclimatize]

[ John has a hard time believing it's that easy. ]

Which won't be anytime soon, then.

[ Not with the cases he has lined up and wants to stay busy. ]

[consulting_freak]

There's time for one meal between cases.

[He does have to consider fuelling up the transport sometimes.]

[acclimatize]

Sherlock, you know the human body needs more than that. Especially the human brain.

[consulting_freak]

Why do you think I make time for tea and coffee?